It hit me really hard after I decided to transition , I thought id rather die because ill never be right and maybe I can cope living in this body forever so maybe I should just try more and 'act' through life , and the reality of having to tell neighbors and people I know and etc. I really talked myself out of it , but in a moment of madness , i shaved my hair off and its like I saw myself for the first time and it was amazing , I feel better , I know its hard , its never going to be easy , but I like myself , and thats a huge step forward for me. but I have many steps still to take , but I understand the doubting at the the beginning x
