To answer the specific point first, I don't really think that someone who is ashamed to be with you, is really loving you. They are using you, and not even admitting that fact, so I would not call that a healthy relationship.
That said, Love is a very complex thing. Let me take a small risk and share a few details of my own story, in the hope that they may help someone who struggles with love, or worries about their future.
When I was young I used to worry about who would find me attractive. I have PAIS so I knew that I was likely to be sterile as a male, and as a corrected female this became a certainty. So I couldn't have my own kids and it worried me that which ever role I had chosen, anyone "normal" might eventually find that to be a disappointment. So the relationship would break down.
Now I lost my father at an early age, and that left me with a slight fear of abandonment, so to me that idea that the relationship would be long-term and reliable became an important factor.
In the end I settled down with a wonderful trans woman, and although it wasn't what either of us "wanted" it was what we needed.
She had the added complication that her operation had major complications which had left her unable to consummate a relationship with a man, so her only option was a woman, which wasn't what she wanted... but I realised that although I was not a man, and did not identify as one, I could perhaps act out the role well enough to satisfy her. So thats what I did. I didn't seek to become male or anything, I just made it my business to try and fulfil the "role" of one in our relationship.
We became wonderful companions and she supported me through some of the most difficult years of my life following the death of my mother.
In turn I protected her from her, often hostile, family, and tried to give her the opportunity to be the housewife and homemaker that she so wanted to be.
In the event we were together for well over two decades.
She is now dying with early onset dementia – and harrowingly seems to have forgotten that she has had the SRS and is often back to believing herself to be a 14 year old boy with severe dysphoria. It is so sad to see her ending her life in terrible internal pain and suffering.
At the time we got together people accused me of selling out, joining the freakshow, setting up a ghetto, being perverted ->-bleeped-<- – regretting my own gender decision, you name it I've been accuse of it – a surprising amount of the time from within the LGB and indeed trans communities!!!
The point is I have loved and been loved. That is all that matters! Life is not like a baskin-robins Ice cream parlour. You don't always get to choose your PERFECT flavour. With luck what you do get is something which is edible and pleasant, and if you achieve that then you've won.
I think this is so important to understand, because by observation, those of us who are good at compromise, generally end up with better life satisfaction than those for whom it has to be perfect! If you are transitioning to become the perfect woman with the perfect relationship, then you have to be SO LUCKY, and for most of you it simply won't happen.
On the other hand, if you can compromise, and learn to get the best out of whatever life throws your way, then you have a much higher chance of being happy.
