Quote from: Grace_C on October 22, 2013, 04:03:16 AM
True story... some years ago now my organisation employed a person called "John", I didn't get much chance to know "John" as I didn't have much opportunity to work on the same stuff and the contract only lasted 6 or so months. Never once did I suspect or even remotely consider that "John" was trans*... and yet a few years later "John" was Jan. I haven't met her since transition but the word gets around. As "John" I always found her reserved, aloof and a bit distant so we never spoke much - she probably wasn't transitioning at my work place (she had a beard the entire time) but I just feel amazed I never would have suspected in a million years the depth of what was probably going on for her even then. Anyway, my point, if there is one - some people are easier to "suspect of being trans*" than others and Jan definitely wasn't at all!
I wonder how much has to do with being close to the person you work with or not. It seems like if you see them infrequently it'd be easier to tell something's different... but if your friends notice well...?
For me, I have made visible changes and personality changes. The question is how noticeable they really are. Everything I always hear says I'm paranoid and people don't notice stuff... but I think that depends on the people, and it's really a "most people" statement. I have noticeably longer and more feminine hair (though long hair isn't a big deal - I've done that once before). I now shave daily... whereas it used to be weekly (and my hair grows in fast and thick). My facial hair is obviously patchy by the next morning, and less obviously right after shaving through noon or so... I also had two face break outs with patchy sunburn/acne from laser - lasted about a week each time (though time 2 went away quicker). I have moderately glossy nails (from hardener - I don't use top coat to avoid super-gloss) that are somewhat longer on one hand - if anyone asked it was going to be "for ukulele" though I have been really terrible at practicing lately.
I'm talking more, listening better, acting more empathic, and talking with the girls more. The women in the office are talking to me a lot more than normal... it's nice but a little weird. I feel as though I must be giving off a feminine vibe. My voice has also risen slightly and softened somewhat with more intonation - it's not really a conscious effort. If my wife notices, she hasn't said anything (but that means nothing either way).
So, yeah... I'm nuts... and I doubt anyone will be confronting me directly about this, even if they do know. I mean - it's work. . . it's not a bunch of close friends - though I have a good close group of work-only friends (they all do stuff outside of work - I am busy with kids & family
and live about 45 min away from the rest of them).
