Here's a weird one from work...
One guy's wife just hurt herself, so a work friend told another work friend to ask about her.
She returned from her office (where she sit's with the guy) and said "she isn't in yet... I mean he."

Normally, because of the guy in question (he likes to wear colorful clothing) that would attract the obvious dig. The work friend quickly glanced at me, and said nothing. Another guy (and FB friend) said "well that's good - she doesn't work here."

They must know I'm pro LGBT rights now (and I'm sure they know that's a new thing)... am I crazy in thinking they suspect more? There are plenty of other clues (longer hair, nail hardener glossing my fingernails, and laser marks and patchiness).

As in you think they might suspect (lol I couldn't be more vague could I?!) you being trans? Because most people seem to just think "oh he's probably gay" - and little do they know how wrong they are (Or aren't, but not the way they would expect!)

You see where I'm going? For my untrained, young eyes it just sounds like you're looking for signs that people notice.

Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 21, 2013, 06:56:04 PM
As in you think they might suspect (lol I couldn't be more vague could I?!) you being trans? Because most people seem to just think "oh he's probably gay" - and little do they know how wrong they are (Or aren't, but not the way they would expect!)

You see where I'm going? For my untrained, young eyes it just sounds like you're looking for signs that people notice.

Yeah... I'm kind of "going for gay" without actually trying right now.
I just get confused, and I know the people I work with are observant and critical thinkers. Basically - if anyone figures it out it's going to be this work friend and one other work friend.

Quote from: kabit on October 21, 2013, 07:15:54 PM
Yeah... I'm kind of "going for gay" without actually trying right now.
I just get confused, and I know the people I work with are observant and critical thinkers. Basically - if anyone figures it out it's going to be this work friend and one other work friend.

I'm looking forward to seeing who (if any) in my workplace guesses before I out myself there and go full time...

I remember several posts when people have 'come out' only to be greeted with 'We've known that for ages, we were just waiting for you to tell us.'

It could be a similar situation!!

It's not something I'm hiding... it's just not something I'm showing and telling. It's just so early... I was surprised at the Shaw's episode, which I think I wrote about in the "happy" thread. That's where Joules' "regendered" comment comes from. That word I think I stole from "Whipping Girl."

I think it's natural to think everyone is guessing... but at the same time most people think only about themselves. This particular guy is a pretty special case for stuff like that. He's very aware of his surroundings - though most people don't realize it. He's also pretty conservative - though also "live and let live."

True story... some years ago now my organisation employed a person called "John", I didn't get much chance to know "John" as I didn't have much opportunity to work on the same stuff and the contract only lasted 6 or so months. Never once did I suspect or even remotely consider that "John" was trans*... and yet a few years later "John" was Jan. I haven't met her since transition but  the word gets around. As "John" I always found her reserved, aloof and a bit distant so we never spoke much - she probably wasn't transitioning at my work place (she had a beard the entire time) but I just feel amazed, I never would have suspected in a million years the depth of what was probably going on for her even then. Anyway, my point, if there is one - some people are easier to "suspect of being trans*" than others and Jan definitely wasn't at all!

Quote from: Grace_C on October 22, 2013, 04:03:16 AM
True story... some years ago now my organisation employed a person called "John", I didn't get much chance to know "John" as I didn't have much opportunity to work on the same stuff and the contract only lasted 6 or so months. Never once did I suspect or even remotely consider that "John" was trans*... and yet a few years later "John" was Jan. I haven't met her since transition but  the word gets around. As "John" I always found her reserved, aloof and a bit distant so we never spoke much - she probably wasn't transitioning at my work place (she had a beard the entire time) but I just feel amazed I never would have suspected in a million years the depth of what was probably going on for her even then. Anyway, my point, if there is one - some people are easier to "suspect of being trans*" than others and Jan definitely wasn't at all!

I wonder how much has to do with being close to the person you work with or not. It seems like if you see them infrequently it'd be easier to tell something's different... but if your friends notice well...?

For me, I have made visible changes and personality changes. The question is how noticeable they really are. Everything I always hear says I'm paranoid and people don't notice stuff... but I think that depends on the people, and it's really a "most people" statement. I have noticeably longer and more feminine hair (though long hair isn't a big deal - I've done that once before). I now shave daily... whereas it used to be weekly (and my hair grows in fast and thick). My facial hair is obviously patchy by the next morning, and less obviously right after shaving through noon or so... I also had two face break outs with patchy sunburn/acne from laser - lasted about a week each time (though time 2 went away quicker). I have moderately glossy nails (from hardener - I don't use top coat to avoid super-gloss) that are somewhat longer on one hand - if anyone asked it was going to be "for ukulele" though I have been really terrible at practicing lately.

I'm talking more, listening better, acting more empathic, and talking with the girls more. The women in the office are talking to me a lot more than normal... it's nice but a little weird. I feel as though I must be giving off a feminine vibe. My voice has also risen slightly and softened somewhat with more intonation - it's not really a conscious effort. If my wife notices, she hasn't said anything (but that means nothing either way).

So, yeah... I'm nuts... and I doubt anyone will be confronting me directly about this, even if they do know. I mean - it's work. . . it's not a bunch of close friends - though I have a good close group of work-only friends (they all do stuff outside of work - I am busy with kids & family and live about 45 min away from the rest of them).

I guess you'll know for sure once you out yourself! No doubt you'll get plenty of feedback then on what they might be thinking now!

Off topic but related.

Once I came out, I started getting calls from people saying they had a person in the workplace who was or was suspected of being TG and could I help them, the person, and the workplace to deal with the situation.

For some reason I've become the TG 'expert', goddess forbid!!

But we are ambassadors for the youngies, take pride in that!

And no I don't like it but life happens.

C

Quote from: Cindy on October 22, 2013, 05:22:17 AM
Off topic but related.

Once I came out, I started getting calls from people saying they had a person in the workplace who was or was suspected of being TG and could I help them, the person, and the workplace to deal with the situation.

For some reason I've become the TG 'expert', goddess forbid!!

But we are ambassadors for the youngies, take pride in that!

And no I don't like it but life happens.

C

I like all of that Nothing wrong with being an expert on something you know nothing about (that's how most experts are born). The only disturbing part is that it's not the trans* person contacting you... it's someone worried about a potential "->-bleeped-<-" (if they're out, OK... but "suspected?")

I think it was more, and it has been, "Help us understand" they, in the cases I have been involved in, were asking for help to help their colleague.

Quote from: Cindy on October 22, 2013, 06:37:44 AM
I think it was more, and it has been, "Help us understand" they, in the cases I have been involved in, were asking for help to help their colleague.

That must be a really great position to be in. It sounds like you're respected and well known.

For me I think it's going to be a case of when they notice I have boobs!
Or that my hair is growing back...
In the last couple of months my bust measurement has grown an inch and my hairline, once fairly sparce, is now repopulating like crazy... so hooray for that. The bust is going to be hard to hide going into summer, there's only so much that baggy shirts will hide and I certainly don't want to bind. So we'll have to see who is the most observant of my colleagues!

Quote from: Grace_C on October 22, 2013, 01:54:06 PM
For me I think it's going to be a case of when they notice I have boobs!
Or that my hair is growing back...
In the last couple of months my bust measurement has grown an inch and my hairline, once fairly sparce, is now repopulating like crazy... so hooray for that. The bust is going to be hard to hide going into summer, there's only so much that baggy shirts will hide and I certainly don't want to bind. So we'll have to see who is the most observant of my colleagues!

+1, LIKE, retweet... etc

I feel like I should be out but I know I can't be out - at least not officially. This point for me will be sometime between summer '14 and summer '15. Still... I'd like a few work friends in the know and allied - or at least privvy to it. It's selfish, really... but I get told that a lot by family over this stuff