First call to therapist, looking for encouragement.Okay

[RobinGee]

Okay, I'm going to attempt to call some therapists today to make an appointment about my issues.

So here is my first step towards (hopefully) being diagnosed as anything other than transsexual. :-}

I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen though.  I refuse to get really upset about it until it happens, but I'm pretty sure I'm fitting the whole "late-onset-transsexual" category

I'm gonna be a freaking WRECK when she tells me that she thinks I should go on HRT or transition.  I'm in a weird place in between, denial, depressive acceptance, and giddy joy.

[RobinGee]

Chickened out of calling during lunch....

[Alice Rogers]

Sounds like a hard day, the sooner you make the call the sooner your life starts moving forward again hun, be it as male or female at least you will know, and with that knowledge comes a chance to feel relief or a chance to start working towards acceptance and peace with yourself....

Whatever you decide, whatever happens you are in my thoughts...

[Jessica Merriman]

After your first appointment the floodgates will open for you. They sure did for me and it became easier and easier to talk about and work on. Everyone I have ever seen post has had the moment of dread setting up the first session. Most are like I was and highly relaxed after they met the therapist and completed the first session. They do not judge you, but try to help you. It is a long process though so be patient and follow their program as much as you can. If you are not comfortable with your therapist after a couple of sessions you might have to decide if they are trying to honestly help you are not. I am looking for another one after a three month period of time with one who started to use HER idea of femininity and not mine. Make sure they stick to the WPATH SoC's which you can find here at Susan's.

[RobinGee]

As long as I don't make the appointment I can pretend thus will go away.

Maybe I just haven't tried being manly enough

I'll just try really hard not to be transgendered.

*sigh*

[RobinGee]

Aaaaaargh! I hate using the phone!  First doctor not accepting new patiients.

[Ms Grace]

Do therapists recommend patients go on HRT? That's not my experience. In both cases I had to ask for it, and in the second instance really had to push for it. If you get a good therapist, particle, they won't have you on hormones by the end of the first appointment, that is really your choice and yours alone. Good luck though, it seems like you have a lot to talk about regardless.

[RobinGee]

I left some messages.

Soo freaked out.

Still jot sure why my brain has segmented off a section devoted to thinking "I WANT BOOBIES!"

Losing it

[Phyliciaraine]

First things first, take a deep breath. Yes it is a very hard time. I know exactly how you feel. I chickened out if calling for years. What I did to finally get to a therapist, was I emailed several until I find one that took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Then I emailed them and told a little about myself and why I was wanting/needing to go to therapy. Then I called and made the appointment. I can say they will not judge you, and all of the fear I had was misplaced. I know now that what I was really afraid of, was truly admitting to myself I was trans. But, please don't try and ignore it or be more manly. Doing these things can make it much worse, believe me I almost was to the point of making a really stupid choice. Now since I've accepted who I am, I am much better than I have ever been. I wish you the best in this, and we are always here for you.

[Eva Marie]

I waited entirely too long and I was a mess when I finally broke down and made the call. Do I regret it? No, it was the call that kept me alive.

Are you afraid of the therapist/therapy, or are you afraid of what the therapist might tell you?

Keeping these feelings bottled up inside you and trying to handle them yourself is very bad for you.

[Jerri]

hi particle,
having the chance to have a totally objective person listen to you and help you decide on your path forward, no mater what that is can really bring things into perspective and help you come to a decision that is right for you. I spent over a year in therapy before i was ready to acknowledge that I am and have been transgendered for all my life. then several months to work out the coming out part. It has been over two years now and i still feel this is the best hour of my week.
Hope you can find a therapist that is the right one for you I also went through a couple before I met the gal that I working with now to help me.

best of wishes
Jerri

[JoanneB]

Do therapists recommend patients go on HRT? That's not my experience. In both cases I had to ask for it, and in the second instance really had to push for it. If you get a good therapist, particle, they won't have you on hormones by the end of the first appointment, that is really your choice and yours alone. Good luck though, it seems like you have a lot to talk about regardless.

Exactly this.

I cannot imagine a therapist, especially within a few sessions saying "You must go on HRT". More likely they will be the one applying the brakes, interjecting reality, looking for a reason why.

When I started therapy five years ago it was for everthing else but transitioning. I was not looking to, I had a TON of other issues. A lot due to being trans and transition was not going to do any good with those, perhaps make things worse.

There are many little things to help w/o HRT. The one big thing is getting in touch with our true self, whatever that is. Which takes time. THen self acceptance, not resignation.

[RobinGee]

Stop injecting rationality into my freak out session.   ;-)

I've been in therapy for depression and anxiety for about 10 years.

My therapist gets weird whenever I try to talk about my gender issues.  It's hard to describe.

[RobinGee]

FYI I've been in touch via email with one therapist.

[Phyliciaraine]

Good job particle, I've noticed that if they aren't a gender therapist, they do get weird.

[Cindi Lane]

Hi Particle,
The advise and encouragement you are hearing is spot on.

Finding a therapist that you are comfortable with and has experience in working with transgendered & gender identity related issues is very important. The best therapists will help you understand yourself.

For myself, I went in with an open mind and the attitude that I needed to understand my feelings and thoughts and I want to understand who I really am. Through therapist assisted self-discovery, I found out that much of the source of my depression and anxiety issues were from the conflict inside me due to growing up Male and trying to maintain that role vs. my female feelings and thoughts.

I took the time to understand that I need to follow my own path, the path that I can see from where I am currently and as I grow in understanding and self acceptance the next step on my path becomes visible. I now know that I am on a transition path, I can imagine a destination, but I feel that my own ultimate stopping point will be discovered in time.

My view of life has dramatically improved, I'm more motivated to be myself, live my life and do so based on my feeling, goals & desires than at any prior time in my life.

I wish for you to find peace and understanding.
-Cindi

[Paige]

My therapist gets weird whenever I try to talk about my gender issues.  It's hard to describe.

Hey I had one of those.  She was a psychiatrist, and basically wanted nothing to do with me.  Probably one of the main reasons I stopped when I was 25 and went back in the closet for 25 years.

[RobinGee]

I I hate waiting for people to call me back or email me back.  :-P~~~

[Jessica Merriman]

Breathe baby or you will pass out before the call is returned! *giggle* You have to realize you are starting on a very long process. Nothing will be quick or easy. It is however worth it in the long run. 

[RobinGee]

I want a short process.  1-2 therapy sessions and be told I have bacon deficiency transsexual hypochondria.  Just eat bacon everyday and your personality will be unchanged except you will no longer. Feel you need physical transition

Or 4 sessions. "I want boobies" here's a referral

I don't think either is happening