A bit of a problem

[Allyda]

I just don't understand the big rush. I could if you were my age and like me have put off transition because of family problems (and even I'm willing to let the hormones do their thing before considering any surgeries except 1 -SRS cause I know it has to be done) but you don't sound like your that old. Anyone else here feel as I do?

[stephaniec]

I just don't understand the big rush. I could if you were my age and like me have put off transition because of family problems (and even I'm willing to let the hormones do their thing before considering any surgeries except 1 -SRS cause I know it has to be done) but you don't sound like your that old. Anyone else here feel as I do?

to be honest this whole conversation is quite off center. I mean I don't personally know the mother but I'm being asked to basically know how she'll react.

[Kyra553]

Yes, I'm not going to live with this face, so I'll kill myself if it doesn't work out. But, I've kind of come to be sorta ok with it...

Ok so I've noticed your not really replying to any of the offered help here. You keep posting the same I'll kill myself if I don't have my way for this or I'll kill myself if I cant do this. But yet you wont try to earn it or accept help.. but you'll mooch it off someone else's kindness... Personally this offends me because your acting like a brat in this situation and using your life as a excuse to get what you want. Just like a small child crying endlessly to get a toy. Everyone here has had their own personal struggles in their transition and every one of them, has been a very up hill challenge. If you cant accept that in life you have to earn your own rewards to appreciate them. Then by all means just do what your going to do. Because at some point your charade will no longer work and perhaps you will commit to your end result. Its a shame really. but you don't seem to value anything you have or you've achieved or the fact you have a family loving enough to support you. so why bother helping you when clearly you need to assess how lucky you really are with what you already have?


Its a shame this has to be my first post here, hopefully you'll learn something from it.

[Allyda]

Ok so I've noticed your not really replying to any of the offered help here. You keep posting the same I'll kill myself if I don't have my way for this or I'll kill myself if I cant do this. But yet you wont try to earn it or accept help.. but you'll mooch it off someone else's kindness... Personally this offends me because your acting like a brat in this situation and using your life as a excuse to get what you want. Just like a small child crying endlessly to get a toy. Everyone here has had their own personal struggles in their transition and every one of them, has been a very up hill challenge. If you cant accept that in life you have to earn your own rewards to appreciate them. Then by all means just do what your going to do. Because at some point your charade will no longer work and perhaps you will commit to your end result. Its a shame really. but you don't seem to value anything you have or you've achieved or the fact you have a family loving enough to support you. so why bother helping you when clearly you need to assess how lucky you really are with what you already have?


Its a shame this has to be my first post here, hopefully you'll learn something from it.

Thank you Natallie. You said what alot of us have been trying to but couldn't so concisely. And from all of us here, Welcome to Susans.

[uuuu]

I just don't understand the big rush. I could if you were my age and like me have put off transition because of family problems

Because I didn't suddenly one day realize I wanted FFS. I've thought about it for a long time (years), and tried to figure out a way to make money, but I really couldn't figure one out. And now I am at the end of the line, where the only possible way would be a loan.

Also, I'm not sure what you meant with family problems, but you said "your age", so I suppose it's your own family. If you married somebody pre-transition, then you really can't talk about anyone acting selfish or like a brat, marrying somebody and staying with them for some years without telling them about your trans situation is about as selfish as you can get. And no, marriage is a decision you make yourself, you don't suddenly end up married by growing up, it's something you have to actively engage in.
So yeah, that makes me a bit annoyed, don't start talking about how somebody is being "immoral" when you're being so yourself, and even far more immoral yourself...

Ok so I've noticed your not really replying to any of the offered help here.

I asked for opinions on option A and B, and people started commented on option C that was non-existent. I did even tell them that it wasn't possible, but that didn't stop the option C discussion.

[Jessica Merriman]

I think this topic has run it's course.

[stephaniec]

I think this topic has run it's course.

this is a very mindless dialogue which has no usefulness to the point of questionable authenticity.

[victoria n]

first off being MTF does not mean your face is disfigured by a genetic disease unless you were born with 2 noses lets say. or have elephant man's disease.
being born male and being mtf is not a genetic disease  unless you have an  intersexed condition.  Do you?
being intersexed is a condition not a disease.
it is doubtful you will die if you don't get FFS. if you keep saying you are going to die people will think you belong in a looney bin .   transgender suicide is real and not a bargaining chip.
please don't off yourself.
did you tell your gender shrink or a non gender shrink about killing yourself. you should.
You have to cope the best you can as we all do

[ChelseaAnn]

A bit of a problem?

Look, I have to agree with everyone else. I've just read the first page, and you are talking way too much about killing yourself. I was suicidal just once, a few months ago, for an hour or so. Let me tell you, my therapist was watching me like a hawk, and that was nearly a week later. Get some help. I know you don't want to, and you have this FFS problem and such and such, but suicide is not the answer. You will not be a woman in death, you'll be nothing.

[Allyda]

Because I didn't suddenly one day realize I wanted FFS. I've thought about it for a long time (years), and tried to figure out a way to make money, but I really couldn't figure one out. And now I am at the end of the line, where the only possible way would be a loan.

Also, I'm not sure what you meant with family problems, but you said "your age", so I suppose it's your own family. If you married somebody pre-transition, then you really can't talk about anyone acting selfish or like a brat, marrying somebody and staying with them for some years without telling them about your trans situation is about as selfish as you can get. And no, marriage is a decision you make yourself, you don't suddenly end up married by growing up, it's something you have to actively engage in.
So yeah, that makes me a bit annoyed, don't start talking about how somebody is being "immoral" when you're being so yourself, and even far more immoral yourself...

I asked for opinions on option A and B, and people started commented on option C that was non-existent. I did even tell them that it wasn't possible, but that didn't stop the option C discussion.

It was a parent issue, not a marriage. Both of my wives were told I was transgender when we were dating by me. It was their idea to keep dating and move forward. My wives never had a problem with my being trans. It was my adopted parents thart did.

Second, I never said you were "immoral." You have me confused with someone else. I stated that I'd be ashamed of myself to go to my mother and ask for a loan to further my transition. I'm paying for my hrt and will pay for any surgeries myself. I said "my age" cause I just turned 50 years old this past October.

[stephaniec]

seriously you need to get to a hospital and get help or face life the way everyone on this site does .I'm older have no money, no parents  no family , no financial support system other than my two hands. I'd love to have all that was offered by medical science to change my appearance and walk into the sunset never looking back. I can't do that. I thank god I made this far and I'm transitioning. I have a sad life story. I doubt you want to hear. I've let pieces of my life get out hear on Susan's because that's how we learn. Like others here have said we don't want you to die . we have all been there and many more will be there in the future. Get help ,talk to a qualified professional.

[Allyda]

seriously you need to get to a hospital and get help or face life the way everyone on this site does .I'm older have no money, no parents  no family , no financial support system other than my two hands. I'd love to have all that was offered by medical science to change my appearance and walk into the sunset never looking back. I can't do that. I thank god I made this far and I'm transitioning. I have a sad life story. I doubt you want to hear. I've let pieces of my life get out hear on Susan's because that's how we learn. Like others here have said we don't want you to die . we have all been there and many more will be there in the future. Get help ,talk to a qualified professional.

Well said Steph. Now if she'd only listen........

[Kaitlin4475]

I feel some pity for your situation, I've felt angry and desperate before. What you need to do is take a step back, see what you're really doing. In the time it takes you to wallow in your own self-pity you could be spending that time investing in yourself. If you're out on money and want to afford all the surgeries and the lavish lifestyle that you feel you deserve, then you need to do you, and work your ass off. I'm sure your mom would much rather loan you some money to go to college and better yourself than waste it on an expensive surgery. Find your drive, find what motivates you and don't look back.

[Kyra553]

Well said Steph. Now if she'd only listen........

I second this statement.   Professional help or more professional help should be found.