I have no idea what I am doing or what to do.

[HarryWest]

This is just a little update for you all.

As Jess has started staying at my place more and more these past few weeks, I invited her to move in on a more permanent basis.

Currently she is thinking about my offer, but I'm hoping she will accept as it is closer to her work (and me) anyway.

I have a two and a half bedroom in the northern suburbs of Brisbane, with a pool, double garage etc.

It has been a good neighbourhood to me for the past three years and I like it. Jess currently rents a hole in the wall near the CBD.

[Jo-is-amazing]

I had no Idea you were a Brisbanite!!!
No one on this site lives here, its so strange to finally see someone who does
Hi from Wynnum

[HarryWest]

I had no Idea you were a Brisbanite!!!
No one on this site lives here, its so strange to finally see someone who does
Hi from Wynnum

I would not call myself a Brisbanite. I'm not even a Queenslander. GO THE BLUES!!!

However Jess is, she is in Spring Hill, while I'm out near Wavell Heights/Chermside.

[Jo-is-amazing]

You so are, you're living here now
anyways I hope you and Jess are doing well
and who knows I've probably walked past the both of you without knowing
that's an odd thought XD

[HarryWest]

You so are, you're living here now
anyways I hope you and Jess are doing well
and who knows I've probably walked past the both of you without knowing
that's an odd thought XD

Could have happened. But I am still going to barrack for NSW.

[Natalie]

Ouch! He is doing his best and making good progress.

Props to you Harry for your patience and willingness to work at your relationship, shame there aren't more like you out there!

Alice
xx

I was merely pointing out that if that person cannot handle the fact that she is a transsexual then they need to find someone else.

Why? It is a part of who she is.

I may be having difficulty accepting in the physical sense (who wouldn't first time round), but Jess is Jess, a wonderful caring person, beautiful and fun (and who also barracks for the same football team).

Why would I give that up just because she has an extra appendage other girls don't "generally" have.

I love her for who she is, not what she is.

Again, I was pointing out that if you cannot deal with her not having ideal genitals then you should find someone else.

[blueconstancy]

Natalie, I've stayed out of this thread because I had no actual advice - which is my point here, in fact. It turns out anal sex is not a prerequisite for loving a trans woman. You are being rude and unreasonable in insisting that someone who loves his girlfriend and is happy with EVERY part of her, but is having trouble adjusting to anal sex, should not date her or "can't deal with her." He's fine with her penis; he's trying to find a way to adapt to that penis inside of him.  The same is true of countless other cis people, gay and straight, with cis partners; I don't think it's a reflection of *their* opinions of their partners, either.

Let it go.

[HarryWest]

I was merely pointing out that if that person cannot handle the fact that she is a transsexual then they need to find someone else.

Again, I was pointing out that if you cannot deal with her not having ideal genitals then you should find someone else.

I do believe you misunderstand what I meant, (or it could be I misunderstand your meaning and as such apologise).

I was trying to be as polite as possible. I meant "accepting in the physical sense" as in "enduring the size of her penis upon penetration".

I accept who Jess is and love who she is on the inside.

Nonetheless your comments, if they are directed at me personally, sound very antagonistic.

"...if YOU cannot deal with her not having ideal genitals then YOU should find someone else."

However if they are meant for the group as a whole then it sounds like very good advice.

"...if someone cannot deal with their partner not having ideal genitals then they should find someone else."

Either way I thank you for your opinion (as your opinion), but politely ask you to be more specific in the future.

[Kyra553]

We understand/know what your saying Harry. No biggy 

I bet she jumped at the offer to move into your home. ^_^

[HarryWest]

I bet she jumped at the offer to move into your home. ^_^

To tell the truth, she said no when I first asked and that kinda threw me, but when I asked again she said she would.

She has a rental agreement till January but she is going to ask the agency to let her out early and as long as she is not hit with a huge early exit fee she will move in ASAP.

[Summer]

Harry I've been reading your thread and well have had to use some tissues for the tears.
You sound like a true gentleman the way you treat Jess as the beautiful woman that she is and the level of communication you both have gives hope to any girls out there looking for their prince . I wish you both much happiness.from your friend on the Gold Coast


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HarryWest]

You sound like a true gentleman the way you treat Jess as the beautiful woman that she is and the level of communication you both have gives hope to any girls out there looking for their prince . I wish you both much happiness.from your friend on the Gold Coast

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.

I don't have much of a support network (outside Jess herself) for the relationship I have with Jess, other than perhaps my sister.

Jess's family is supportive of her... in being herself and being who she wishes to be.

But my parents have not been an active part of my life for nearly a year now, not since they moved interstate, and I have not told them anything other than I'm dating a great girl.

My mates are not the sort of people I would go to for emotional support. Round of tenpin bowling yeah, base jumping in the Great Dividing Range HELLYEAH, but inter-social emotional support is like Monopoly, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I've never really had that many girls who are friends. And while my sister and I are very close she is still trying to get her head around the whole gay/st8/meh aspect even three months after telling her "THE WHOLE" situation. Jess helped with that.

So emotionally I really only have "YOU" [Susans] as support.

[Jo-is-amazing]

You're completely welcome
Emotional support is what we do best
I hope you and Jess are very happy and have a long and fulfilling relationship

[HarryWest]

As Jess and I have been becoming closer and spending much more time together, I have noted that my relationship with Jess is divided into two very distinct parts.

There is the emotional public relationship we share that is awesome and going along fine, but then there is the sexual private relationship that I have with her (behind closed door/in the bedroom only).

Jess is really forceful at times and I enjoy that, but anal sex is still quite painful on my side of things, we have spoken a number of times but I am unsure that she understands where I am coming from.

Jess can "accept" me fully and easily with no problems (and at times no lube at all), but I am still rather troubled by the sensation of her penetration. However I do very much enjoy the feeling of anal sex.

Jess and I admit there is a significant size difference between me and her but Jess tends to brush it off. She informed me that her first times were relatively relaxed and reasonably pain free. And that she has taken larger than herself in the past.

Jokingly (but not so much so) she tells me to "just accept it and take it like a man".

[Tessa James]

I just finished reading this thread and must admit I was at first concerned you were a troll or not on the level.  At this point I feel lin agreement my sisters here; you are a very special guy with a loving relationship and a wonderfully open minded perspective.  Thank you for sharing.

[HarryWest]

I just finished reading this thread and must admit I was at first concerned you were a troll or not on the level.  At this point I feel lin agreement my sisters here; you area a very special guy with a loving relationship and a wonderfully open minded perspective.  Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for your kind words and support.

[HarryWest]

BIG UPDATE: Jess has moved in fully now, she has let her lease go and integrated her things into my house. I was amazed at just how much she had packed into her tiny apartment. Scarier still was all the shoes.

[Tessa James]

Oh that is so perfectly funny and true.  I love a range of shoes, sandals boots and more.  Thanks for sharing with us.  Most of us know what it means when we say; first the toothbrush then the uhaul trailer.

[HarryWest]

Oh that is so perfectly funny and true.  I love a range of shoes, sandals boots and more.  Thanks for sharing with us.  Most of us know what it means when we say; first the toothbrush then the uhaul trailer.

Luckily I never had much art work on my walls so all morning we have been putting nails into the walls to hang stuff.

But the the shoes... my god! 3 pairs of calk high boots, 8 pairs of wedges, 10 pairs of sandals and over a dozen high heels (some that looked at least 7 inches).

Jess is happy, I have always had extra space, my place must have been designed to accommodate a small to medium family.

[HarryWest]

Jess and I are going bed shopping this weekend.

Not too sure what the end result will be as both the beds we have are just doubles and we really want something queen or maybe king size.

We a both tallish people and Jess's feet tend to hang off the end.

Bathroom has been divided, but I'm still not understanding the dozen or so little bottles along the bench.

Just enjoying life right now.