How do you feel about being trans?

[suzifrommd]

How do you feel about being trans?

[alabamagirl]

I think probably all of those at one time or another.

Currently... Proud, I think.

[Eva Marie]

Depending on my mood pretty much all of those options Suzi. Some days i'm happy, some days i'm sad, some days i'm depressed, and so on. I'm like an emotional yoyo.

Being trans - it is what it is. I am relieved that I finally understand what has been affecting me so deeply for my entire life, but finally knowing that is a mixed blessing. It is one big mystery solved and many, many new problems and challenges to deal with. I also experience new fears now; fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of living alone for the rest of my life. Being trans comes with a high price tag.

While i'm dealing with those problems, challenges, and fears, and discovering the person that I really am - at least i'm doing so as my authentic self.

In the words of the grateful dead - what a long, strange trip it's been

[Blue Senpai]

Generally scared since my parents treat it as it is no big deal and make me feel guilty in saying stuff like what the neighbors might say, you could get hurt by hateful people on the street and there are nasty side effects. I'm still going to do it anyways and show them that I'm serious.

[Carrie Liz]

I tend to fluctuate between happy and depressed.

When I'm happy about being trans, it's usually because it allowed me to see life from such different perspectives, it helped me grow so much, learn so much, plus when moments of "gender euphoria" hit me and they mean that much more because I was never able to experience them before.

When I'm depressed about being trans, it's usually because I'm tired of worrying about "passing," whining to myself about how I'm never going to be beautiful, and being jealous of cis-women.

[Umiko]

i feel indifferent 

[Donna Elvira]

To answer the question strictly, I'm comfortable, even very comfortable, about being trans. However, like everyone else who has answered, the experience of being trans and transitioning has added many other emotions to the mix: much joy at finally being able to live openly as the woman I always felt I was but also huge frustration and sadness experiencing levels of discrimination at work that I had never known up until now. Quite a reality check and I won't know for another six months to a year whether I'll finally come out of this in a place I can live with.

[Jess42]

I had to put other 'cause I really have no idea of what it feels like not being trans. For me its just normal I guess.

[Kaydee]

Like most others I voted for most of the options.  Emotions have been all over the place.  I will say this though - it has never been boring!   

I find myself angry often - angry that this happened to me, angry I didn't realize when I was younger, angry I move so slowly towards transition.   But sometimes I am happy knowing I will someday be a girl, that I don't have to be bored with life, depressed that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.   

With my emotions as they are when I start HRT it should be really interesting!

[Ms Grace]

Comfortable. I'm in a place where I've just decided I don't want to stress about or be distressed by my gender circumstance. I can't be cis female and I'd rather be a trans woman than pretend to be a cis man so I'm where I can be. Much to my surprise I'm OK with that.

[Nicolette]

I squander away a large proportion of my life, earnings, relationships, health and safety, potential for offspring, ad infinitum, so my body can be hacked and sculptured into a facsimile of my 'chosen' gender so I can bear to live with myself. Others circumvent all this by the action of simply being born cis. Ecstatic. Caroline Cossey once said that she wouldn't wish it upon her worst enemy.

[Declan.]

I chose "apathetic" because I don't think about it much. Do I wish I were born a cisgender man? Yes, but I know wishing isn't going to change anything, so I put it out of my head. It doesn't cross my mind often unless my family is bothering me about it. Even then, it only affects my feelings about my family, not my feelings about being transgender. I need to have surgery, but since I can't afford anything like that right now, it's so far away that I don't let myself think much about it. It's possible I'm not apathetic at all, just numb.

[Hikari]

I get all kinds of feelings, but the more changes I see the more apathetic I feel about being trans...like I get this feeling like by the time this is all over, I won't really be thinking about being trans, just openly being the repressed woman I always had been. Like, I don't really think about gender all that often in day to day things nearly as much as I did when I started....

It is almost like, more and more being trans is a sort of chore that I am going to rid myself of. To use a bad analogy, I don't often think about the cassette I used to have to change in the answering machine, I just take the fact I have voice mail for granted and enjoy having more time listening to messages and less time changing or erasing tapes.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I'm pretty comfortable with it about 98% of the time these days. I might have a very rare instance where something goes haywire. But most of the time, things are fine.

[Jill F]

Finally addressing it was much better than the two other options remaining for me- going nuts or dying young.

[Ryan55]

Mix of all of those emotions, at first angry/depressed, its kind of like going through the stages of grief, Angry and then making deals with yourself, depression, acceptance. Its a roller coaster of emotions and still goes up and down some times, I wish I was born cis male, life would be easier, but then I think all my experiences in life, made me who I am, so I'm trans, makes me a pretty strong determined person that's for sure, I actually hate it when people tell me how brave I am, its like, I'm not brave, I just want to be me, so yeah I'm a rebel, a renegade, going against society's norms lol makes life exciting a little, the way I see it, I was able to experience life on both sides of the spectrum, female and now male, as much as I hated being forced to socialize female, and as much as I was a tomboy in that sense, experiences still made me who I am, I don't think god made a mistake, maybe sometimes I thought he did, but hell were all pretty strong mother f***kers for being able to push through this journey, I have respect for everyone on this ride

[Adam (birkin)]

Hm, depends. At best I am apathetic - like, whatever, it is what it is and I'm not going to change it. I'm no less of a man for it.

But it makes me angry, depressed, and scared when things aren't at their best.

Angry and depressed because I've had WAY too many bad experiences coming out. When I looked female and said I was trans, most people were cool about it, but I find that when I pass and people think I am just a "regular guy" and they find out my past...they get weird about it and feel like I've somehow deceived them. Most recently I even had a therapist who felt misled by me saying I was "straight" when she asked my sexual orientation. She was fine with it before she knew of my past, now that she knows she thinks that "straight" was misleading. But it isn't, I'm a guy and I like girls, that's what straight is. =/ Honestly I'd rather not label my orientation at all even though I am monosexual in my preferences, but she asked. Honestly, coming out just changes people's perceptions too much. It's depressing that people think my body parts, or even my gender period (physical sex aside) comprise such a huge part of who I am. If I had an extra finger would that make me a different person somehow?

Anyway, I then put scared because I worry that a day will come where I don't have the option of keeping my private life private. I have numerous reasons for thinking that but I won't go into detail here.

[King Malachite]

I hate it.  I would have rather not been born.

[janetcgtv]

I would have euphoria if I had been born a cisgendered female.
I can go through all those emotions at one time or another.

[suzifrommd]

I would have euphoria if I had been born a cisgendered female.

I wonder about this.

I have this feeling too - how wonderful it would be actually to be cisgender, have complete body, the full female experience, etc.

But, really, I don't know any cisgender people who are euphoric about their gender.

In fact, the ONLY people I know who are ever euphoric with respect to their gender are trans people.

Something to think about...