Hey Sam, I say this outta love and with concern. I read this post earlier and to be honest, it scared the ->-bleeped-<- outta me. I think a lot of us can relate to being down and thinking bout suicide and all but the voice saying to kill yourself and take as many other idiots with you is some really serious ->-bleeped-<- and you need to get it addressed and looked at asap! I can't see any suicide hotline being able to give any real meaningful help to you; I definitely think you should take Jessica's advice and go to the hospital and tell them everything whilst you still can, while you are still in control, before it is too late and you do something terrible. I am afraid that I will turn on the news one day and hear about a mass killing/suicide and be worried that it was you. I am really worried for you; I hope you follow our advice and try to get this under control, deal with it, like now, while you can.