Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

Designer Vaginas for the Deranged

Started by Donna Elvira, July 28, 2014, 01:26:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Donna Elvira

By popular request (Sssssh.... don't tell anyone but it was Danniella who put me up to it.) and to help both your servant and others clearly articulate our expectations to GRS surgeons regarding all aspects of our future vaginas  ie. key functional specifications, maintenance, TCO (Total Cost of Ownership), design, guarantees, options..., could all of you who are remotely technically minded pull on your creativity hats and try to provide some inputs on your ideal vagina.

The concept document should include detailed design objectives (including admissible tolerances) for criteria such as:

Depth
Width
Tightness
Sensation
Lubrication
MTBF/MTTR
Colour (external and internal)
Pilosity
Urination (angle, pressure, range...)
Scent
Safety
CIP
Maintenance
TCO
Other...

Based on your inputs, my objective when asked by Dr Chettawut what my expectations are regarding GRS, is to hand the doctor a detailed written specification for all key aspects of my ideal vagina. By the present, I solemnly promise that I will present any well documented design spec we are capable of producing during my pre-op consultation and provide you all with feedback on his reaction... ;)

I see this as a collective effort , a fine example of concurrent engineering devoted to a cause far greater than the design of 6th generation fighter aircraft,  very much in the spirit of mutual support  which has made the reputation of Susan's.

However, for any stand out design I am willing to at least consider financing  a one off prize: GRS for one person at the Kim Il Sung Memorial Hospital, Pyongyang, PRK performed under the personal supervision of  Dr Kim Jong-Un whose reputation as highly regarded specialist is well established.

Ladies, the time has come to take GRS into the 21st century. Let's make this happen!
Hugs
Donna
  •  

Catherine Sarah

MTBF/MTTR. ......... Really.  :icon_hahano: :icon_hahano: :icon_hahano: :icon_biggrin: :icon_biggrin:

What about life cycle costings; warranty, PC, handover inspection, force Majure and latent conditions of contract??

Loved your concept
Huggs
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
  •  

Donna Elvira

Catherine,
As you clearly understood, my first post was just to get the ball rolling and I can already see from your input that this was an idea just waiting to take off!  ;D ;D
Hugs
Donna
  •  

Danniella

Quote from: Donna E on July 28, 2014, 01:26:53 PM
By popular request (Sssssh.... don't tell anyone but it was Danniella who put me up to it.)
Yay! I'm popular! xD

Lacking the ability to formulate a perfect blueprint of my chosen neo-vagina, I shall have to play the annoying high level designer role in this fabrication pipeline and just fill in the requirements without actually thinking through the practicalities or inherent plausibility of achieving the desired results.

"Danniella Range" Designer Vagina Specifications


  • Depth: 5-6 inches
  • Width: 2-3 inches
  • Tightness: Approx 22-28psi (Depending on fine tuning and frequency of use)
  • Sensation: Full sensation compressed into a smaller area to mimic increases sensitivity.
  • Lubrication: 30-60% moisture content (Varying with user's arousal)
  • MTBF/MTTR: 50-80 years (User maintenance and frequency of use dependant)
  • Colour (external and internal): External :Matching User Exterior colouring, Internal: Salmon Pink
  • Pilosity: Should be able to stretch up to an additional 50% of its standard "resting" state
  • Scent: Pine Fresh
  • Safety: Retractable steel teeth
  • Maintenance: Regular stimulation and intercourse
  • TCO: £10,000-£15,000 (Dependant on additional "accessories" purchased)


I am now also imagining this thread resulting in a similar scenario to this video...but with like 8 trans girls and the poor SRS Surgeon being the "Expert"

You say "Using humor as a defence mechanism" like it's a BAD thing!



  •  

Eris

I refuse to live in fear! Come hell or high water I will not back down! I will live my life!
But you have no life.
Ha. Even that won't stop me.

I will protect even those I hate, so long as it is right.



  •  

Ms Grace

"Pilosity"...now there's a word I had to look up!!

Not seeing any reference in your list to labia (minora or majora) or to the clitoris and clitoral hood. So many possibilities, especially with the labia minora!
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

Donna Elvira

Quote from: Ms Grace on July 29, 2014, 05:31:17 AM
"Pilosity"...now there's a word I had to look up!!

Not seeing any reference in your list to labia (minora or majora) or to the clitoris and clitoral hood. So many possibilities, especially with the labia minora!

Agree completely Grace but far harder to specify other than with drawings. Am totally open to suggestions though. For example, here's my spec on Pilosity:

Average coverage of about 35 follicles/cm2 on the outer edge of the labia majora thinning progressively towards 0/follicles/cm2 at the interface between the labia majora an the labia minora.  :)

Regarding Safety, on top of Danniella's suggestion regarding "retractable steel teeth" I had also imagined pressure sensors at the end of the vaginal cavity which, when activated,  would automatically tighten the vaginal walls in a manner which insured rapid explusion of the offending penis or other foreign object...

Hard work creative thinking but we'll get there!
Hugs
Donna

P.S. Great input Danniella:  +1 from me!  Something tells me you have done this sort of exercice before..



  •  

Kassie

OMG I needed a good laugh this morning this post was more than that!!! 
  •  

Danniella

Quote from: Donna E on July 29, 2014, 06:27:34 AM
P.S. Great input Danniella:  +1 from me!  Something tells me you have done this sort of exercice before..
My official job title is "Digital Artist and Interactive Media Designer"...which means I see a great deal of pedantic over detailed "Design Specifications" for things that are almost impossible to measure and entirely subjective xD

Although it occurs to me now that having in built steel contraptions inside a moist environment for a prolonged period of time could cause some...rusting problems.

Consider changing material type...or adding sound proofing, certain client does now want a squeaking vagina.
You say "Using humor as a defence mechanism" like it's a BAD thing!



  •  

immortal gypsy

Quote from: Danniella on July 29, 2014, 07:36:59 AM
My official job title is "Digital Artist and Interactive Media Designer"...which means I see a great deal of pedantic over detailed "Design Specifications" for things that are almost impossible to measure and entirely subjective xD

Although it occurs to me now that having in built steel contraptions inside a moist environment for a prolonged period of time could cause some...rusting problems.

Consider changing material type...or adding sound proofing, certain client does now want a squeaking vagina.
Maybe a zinc oxide coating, or have it made out of colorbond steel
Do not fear those who have nothing left to lose, fear those who are prepared to lose it all

Si vis bellum, parra pacem
  •  

Eris

Quote from: Danniella on July 29, 2014, 07:36:59 AM
Although it occurs to me now that having in built steel contraptions inside a moist environment for a prolonged period of time could cause some...rusting problems.

Consider changing material type...or adding sound proofing, certain client does now want a squeaking vagina.

Perhaps some sort of carbon polymer?
I refuse to live in fear! Come hell or high water I will not back down! I will live my life!
But you have no life.
Ha. Even that won't stop me.

I will protect even those I hate, so long as it is right.



  •  

Ducks

LOL Daniella!  Stainless Steel will survive a saltwater environment quite well!  How about Labia Minora to resemble the wings of a Luna moth?

LOL Reminds me of the girl YT in Snow Crash! 
  •  

Julia-Madrid

Hello y'all

At Donna's request I'm reproducing my original take on this (without having visited this thread first) from Donna's SRS thread.

This is gonna get quite surreal, I can tell...   

I don't know if any of you remember James Clavell's "Tai-Pan", set in Hong Kong, but one of the very secondary characters, if I remember correctly, is a man whom we know only as "Photographer Ng".  One of his sidelines is to track down beautiful women and photograph their intimate parts.  It was rumoured that he had this massive private collection of pictures of starlets and other ladies in public life which was carried about in a suitcase.  I seem to remember that this suitcase falls into the wrong hands, and there is much appreciation of the "delicacy" of certain ladies versus the "frilliness" of others and so on.  ;D

So what would we want from a "designa vagina" hmmm?? 

1)  First question is external appearance.  How do you dress?   Are you into lace or frills?  Do you like clean neat lines?  What about the curtains in your home?  Undulating velvet, Venetian blinds, voile?  Well, for purposes of harmony we'd want this to be consistent, I would imagine.

2)  I'm quite an olfactory person - I can almost shut my eyes and navigate by smell.   I don't think that bubble-gum is an elegant odour, but some folk might like it.  Yeasty, maybe, like a proper croissant, with its warm and welcoming notes.  Or maybe we want something traditional like clams, or if you prefer the "colour", mussles?  Gingerbread could be interesting too, or seaweed?

3)  I was thinking how we would deal with the tactile part, and maybe here the question is related to personality?  Are you combative?  Soft and yielding?   Playful?  Austere?  Let's explore....

- Combative:  you're not just gonna let any ol' joe in - he's going to have to work for his pleasure, so tightness is key.
- Austere:  I'm thinking of a fortress, but how do the gates feel... cold... metallic... dry...?  Urgh... shivers down my spine!
- Soft and yielding:  awww, this is just too cute...you've surely got a Hello Kitty t-shirt somewhere in your wardrobe!
- Playful:  well, this might need some twists and turns, and could be very interesting.  Not sure how it would be built, however!

So friends, as you can see, the results of too much medication are clearly taking their toll on me.  Don't shoot the messenger; go after Novartis or anyone else in Big Pharma!

Juliaaaaaaa
  •  

Julia-Madrid

Quote from: Danniella on July 29, 2014, 05:04:02 AM
Yay! I'm popular! xD

I am now also imagining this thread resulting in a similar scenario to this video...but with like 8 trans girls and the poor SRS Surgeon being the "Expert"

OH GAWD, DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH  ;D ;D ;D - I have waaay too many stiches in my poor face still...!!!   I absolutely love the way the "lines expert" starts his can-do statement with "No..."   It reminds me so much of my engineering team when I ran an IT company.  I love software and software geeks, but jeeze, sometimes their innate conservativism would drive me nuts. 

By the way, none of you girls has yet discussed any electronically-contollable features of our designer vagina. I mean, if we're bringing our vagina into the 21st Century, this is a MUST!   I'm thinking here of "James Bond meets an over-accessorised BMW."  Maybe you want to select the environment for use (romantic restaurant; back seat at the car-wash; penthouse with a view and a cognac in hand) or urgency (right now!;  easy does it;  quickie before I fall asleep) or some other settings?   

Do we want to start working on the mock-up for the iPhone app, or are you sisters into "open systems"?  he he he  ;D
  •  

xponentialshift



Quote from: Danniella on July 29, 2014, 05:04:02 AM

  • Safety: Retractable steel teeth


Steel teeth even if retractable would be too weird for me. I'd prefer a dentata (snow crash style).

Oh and I'd want a much higher MTBF just in case I happen to fall below the mean.

  •  

Padma

Bluetooth 4.0 compatible.
Equipped with Wormhole technology, so as to improve the capacity for large objects (including one's wardrobe and/or closet).
GPS for enhancement of peeing accuracy.
Womandrogyne™
  •  

Danniella

Quote from: Padma on July 30, 2014, 02:57:40 AM
Equipped with Wormhole technology, so as to improve the capacity for large objects (including one's wardrobe and/or closet).
AHAHAHA! I actually spat my coffee everywhere xD

Trans Girl : "Looks like it's starting to rain..."

Friend: "Ah crap...I forgot to bring my coat"

Trans Girl : "Don't worry, you can borrow one of mine"

Friend : "Huh?...but we would have to go all the way back to your place...I don't

-trans girl proceeds to put hand down pants and pull a long waterproof mac out of nether regions in one long drawn out pull-

Trans Girl : "There You go! Quick...the rain is getting heavier!"

Friend : "Ummmmm...pass"

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on July 30, 2014, 02:45:47 AM
OH GAWD, DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH  ;D ;D ;D - I have waaay too many stiches in my poor face still...!!!   
I'm afraid you're in the wrong thread if you're recovering from FFS darlin x'D

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on July 30, 2014, 02:45:47 AM
I absolutely love the way the "lines expert" starts his can-do statement with "No..."   It reminds me so much of my engineering team when I ran an IT company.  I love software and software geeks, but jeeze, sometimes their innate conservativism would drive me nuts. 

I second this emotion...I think it's because in general the more stubborn software engineers spend years learning the tricks of their trade and how to do something in one particular manner, then they begin to get stuck in their ways and refuse to try new ways of tackling a problem...but that could just be my experience.


New Options in the more Pricey "XXX Danniella Range Designer Neo-Vaginas"


  • 6 Speed Internal Vibration Setting: Ranging from "Itty Bitty Teasing" to "Is That The Washing Machine's Final Cycle?" (Caution, over use of this feature will fatigue in the user)
  • Inbuilt 3G Social Media Integration: Upload the status of your Neo-Vagina to Twitter or Facebook at the click of a button.
  • Dolby Digital 3.0 Surround Sound
You say "Using humor as a defence mechanism" like it's a BAD thing!



  •  

Julia-Madrid

Quote from: Danniella on July 30, 2014, 03:35:03 AM

New Options in the more Pricey "XXX Danniella Range Designer Neo-Vaginas"


  • 6 Speed Internal Vibration Setting: Ranging from "Itty Bitty Teasing" to "Is That The Washing Machine's Final Cycle?" (Caution, over use of this feature will fatigue in the user)
  • Inbuilt 3G Social Media Integration: Upload the status of your Neo-Vagina to Twitter or Facebook at the click of a button.
  • Dolby Digital 3.0 Surround Sound

EXCELLENT!  I was a bit worried at the start of the thread that we were way too focused on the mechanical engineering, which is soooo pasé darling!   Now we are truly bringing our nether regions into Web 2.0 territory!!!

Just a question:  how does the Dolby Surround work?  Is this part of the wormhole technology for lovers who really want to dive in head first?   Urgh!   :o
  •  

Jill F

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on July 30, 2014, 03:43:57 AM
EXCELLENT!  I was a bit worried at the start of the thread that we were way too focused on the mechanical engineering, which is soooo pasé darling!   Now we are truly bringing our nether regions into Web 2.0 territory!!!

Just a question:  how does the Dolby Surround work?  Is this part of the wormhole technology for lovers who really want to dive in head first?   Urgh!   :o

So I should get a Cervix-Vega subwoofer?

+1000 to anyone who gets that joke.

I'll be here all week.  Tip your bartenders and waitstaff...
  •  

Danniella

Quote from: Jill F on July 30, 2014, 03:49:55 AM
So I should get a Cervix-Vega subwoofer?

+1000 to anyone who gets that joke.

I'll be here all week.  Tip your bartenders and waitstaff...
Ah! Potential for combining the functionality of the sub-woofer and vibration generation into one device!

I like your thinking Jill ;)

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on July 30, 2014, 03:43:57 AM
EXCELLENT!  I was a bit worried at the start of the thread that we were way too focused on the mechanical engineering, which is soooo pasé darling!   Now we are truly bringing our nether regions into Web 2.0 territory!!!
Well if we let the engineers have all the fun then we will end up with a grey box covered in buttons and exposed wires! D:

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on July 30, 2014, 03:43:57 AM
Just a question:  how does the Dolby Surround work?  Is this part of the wormhole technology for lovers who really want to dive in head first?   Urgh!   :o
It comes pre-loaded with "Barry White's Greatest Hits"
You say "Using humor as a defence mechanism" like it's a BAD thing!



  •