What unites us and what is unique about our personal gender identities?

[Satinjoy]

Once there was a lost soul, desperate and wandering about, looking for a place to eat and rest.  Weary of the pain, they walked into the city of the binaries, and found no rest, but found loving arms to embrace.  They were fed, they were helped, but the feeling deep inside was that something was different, something hard to put their finger on, and they were tired and hungry and very afraid.

Then they found a path to the androgyn forest, they read the sign, but they did not understand, they thought it was not for them, so they wandered outside the forest, lost and alone, coming back to the city for solace.

While in that city a wonderful spirit from the forest saw them and their pain, and brought them to the forest, a place of light and joy, but there was the feeling, the sign was there... but it changed.... the sign made the forest bigger, more beautiful, more open.... it was the unicorn forest, it was for those lost outside the woods and outside the city, as they began coming in to be fed, watered, healed

So sh'e went in and put up h'er treehouse, filled it with flowers and feathers and beauty, and gazed in awe at the beautiful creatures in the forest who came to  play with h'er.... her eyes wide as saucers and her mouth open in astonishment as  the sun rose and smiled.

I am sh'e.  Aisla found me in the city.

What makes us unique and what makes us united as one people?

Love to all here, nails out and heart open wide.

[Satinjoy]

I think maybe I'll throw some things out there to get the thoughts coming.  My feelings, are obvious...

Being mtf but knowing that I do not buy into being all girl, except physically and not necessarily in social presentation, I did not come to the androgyn forum.  I have an image of the androgyne as a very special person, someone who is visually neither male nor female, can be construed as either, is unique, has a special presentation that is also neither male nor female, it is, in my horribly uninformed perception, someone that literally lives between the two genders.  Since that is not who I am, it separated me from this forum.  Left me stranded.

But, being non binary, what unites me with everyone here in this section is that I do not buy into traditional boy girl this that binary presentations or cores.  I do not hate the male in me, I just can't be male with males, much.  Yet I can in specific social arenas, business, talking with male AA members, interacting with those that have male components on the board, so that I don't trigger an attraction to my female nature, which would be very threatening to me.  I would run away.

So I am one with us of the forest, yet mtf, yet not fully mtf.  Percieving as a sort of third gender.

But the other things that unite us together, besides the idea that gender itself is limiting when forced to one or the other binary standard,  the other thing is that first, we get it, we understand each other, second, the world does not, and the pain pulls us together big time.  Loneliness unites us.  Being misunderstood by the masses unites us.  Sometimes bitterness and anger unite us.  A great post like the Eurovision win, unites us and impassions us.  (That was a lifechanging post for me, I saw myself, the way I have to present full transition at times, displayed in a massively positive way).

Divisions I do not wish to go to here.  Uniqueness, sure.  We have the mtf, the ftm, the Andros, GQ's, and non restricted free spirits, unique perspectives and presentations of gender identity, valuable and with something to offer to every single one of us here on this board.  We, in here, celebrate that uniqueness, while at the same time, bond in a way few cis people will ever know.

We are special gifts to each other.

Nails out, hair waiting, hormones flying, trying to somehow help build the self esteem you all deserve to have, and bring us together.

Blessings.  Love to all here.

Thoughts?  Do I have this right?  I hope I didn't misrepresent anyone.  I still haven't figured out what Androgyn is as a gender identity.  But I know I like them a lot and want to be around them and listen to their wisdom and strength.

Enjoy

[suzifrommd]

Interesting thoughts, Satinjoy.

For me, I'm pretty comfortable with the binary world. I accept that humans are wired to see gender in binary terms, and that most do see their gender as binary on one side or the other.

I present as binary female as I can manage for two reasons:
1. It's easier for folks to understand.
2. If I'm seen as a woman I'm more likely to find my social interactions satisfying.

The other part, the part of me that feels male a lot of the time and the male experiences and perspectives I carry with me, I keep those to myself. Only my therapist and closest friends are privy to those feelings.

[ativan]

We assume that our minds are wired in terms of binary, yet when asked, a majority of people will answer that they have components of both of that assumption.
We are not hard wired, we are pliable and are wired to be able to take advantage of that.
Whether you assume that binary is is black and white is up to the individual.
But when pressed for the truth, very few will honestly say they are.
When shown that others do indeed think in terms that defy that kind of hard wiring,
It becomes easier to understand that we have more in common that we have as differences.
We are unique, we are unique in similar ways, as individuals and as groups.
It is easy to be united when we accept this.
Ativan

[helen2010]

We assume that our minds are wired in terms of binary, yet when asked, a majority of people will answer that they have components of both of that assumption.
We are not hard wired, we are pliable and are wired to be able to take advantage of that.
Whether you assume that binary is is black and white is up to the individual.
But when pressed for the truth, very few will honestly say they are.
When shown that others do indeed think in terms that defy that kind of hard wiring,
It becomes easier to understand that we have more in common that we have as differences.
We are unique, we are unique in similar ways, as individuals and as groups.
It is easy to be united when we accept this.
Ativan

Ativan/SJ/Suzifrommd

You each have your truth.  In voicing your self, you give it form and shape.  In transitioning, we do the same.  Binarism to me is, at times, profoundly limiting but it can provide safety, acceptability and flexibility in expression.  Gendering behavior, attributes and competencies is, to me, a nonsense and all are available to us, whether M, F or NB. If at your core you are NB but still choose to transition MTF then this is your truth.  If at core you are NB and choose to transition MTNB, it may be more fraught, more unusual but it is nevertheless your truth.  Expression and identity may be synonymous or expression may be no more than a convenience.

I am not sure if this makes a lot of sense, but if you connect with and understand your authentic self, your true identity, then it's expression is a judgement, sometimes playful, sometimes to make a statement, or sometimes to pose a contradiction, whatever works for you and enables your core.

This is why I like the metaphor of the forest and city, but in truth there are manicured/carefully ordered gardens and wilder parks even in the city.   The city and the forest may be destinations, they may be vacation opportunities or indeed may be a place to immerse oneself and find self acceptance and the acceptance of others.

Either way, growth is good.  I enjoy the city but feel at home in the forest.   Pursuit of our truth is food for our soul. 

Safe travels

Aisla