Are guys who prefer transsexuals "->-bleeped-<-s"?

[Mark3]

Sorry if I insulted you. I really am. I'm new to all of this, and I'm just trying to learn. I've never met other trans friends, and I do not know any guys who like trans people. Sorry again to you, and to anybody I offended.

Its okay, I think I know what you really meant by it... 
I'd just respectfully suggest that you choose your words more carefully, I have a tough skin, but some here are in a fragile place emotionally, and words that might not bother you or I, might hurt others feelings..

[MikaylaGC]

Just an observation, I dont think men(or women for that matter) cis or otherwise are the problem. I think its individual ppl who are. Its like thinking from an entirely cis-male point of view, they like certain body parts, they might be a 'boobs' or 'ass' men etc, like long legs and so on. Yes they probably almost fetish those body parts, but they are essentially just physical markers that turns them on enough to gain the courage to go speak/chat/flirt/get to know the person. Do some of them turn out to be idiots and "->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s" sure, but maybe some of them actually fall in love with YOU. Coz you know essentially if we are worried about 'pervs' you might as well forget men in general, they all do it, and Im pretty sure some of you used to be that way too along time ago. One of our strengths over cis-genders, is we have a unique position of seeing both sides of the coin. Dont forget it

[Jaz650]

I might be showing my age, but its a term for men who want the "she-male" type of transgendered female.

It's like they hunt for them, they want the female body, yet want a penis that acts like its still on a male.

On facebook about 3 years ago (this made me get very tight with who I add) I had a guy add me, all he wanted to know was if I had srs or not, when I wouldn't tell him he went insane, calling me every name under the sun and said that "->-bleeped-<-'s should get their di*ks removed because of guys like him".

I was shocked, my facebook account went into full lockdown after

Oh gosh that's terrifying! That's actually what I meant when I used the word "pervert". I will rephrase my question: Are all guys who like transsexuals "->-bleeped-<-s"? Or are there good guys who actually want to fall in love with trans women?

[littleredrobinhood]

To be completely honest... Yeah, I used to think that any person who had a preference for trans people were perverts who had zero respect to the people they're attracted to. It was only until very recently that I started to reconsider (nothing happened to make me change my mind, either - it was completely out of the blue lol).

Now though, I can see how it's not too much different from having a preference for any other type of body part.

I hope this isn't inappropriate or offensive, but.. there're guys who prefer different shaped vagina's in women - long labia minora, hairy, chubby.. And it just so happens that some people prefer women with penises, or men with vagina's.

I used to think "If you're so attracted to penises, why don't you just date cis men?" or "If you're so attracted to vagina's, why don't you just date cis women?", but then I got to thinking that maybe it isn't just about genitals.

I mean, if it was, it would be so much easier to just do what I just said - date cis people with the genitals they're attracted to. So I figure there must be more to it, right?

With that said, though, I don't think it's unreasonable for a trans person to feel uncomfortable around, and refuse to date people who want to date them because they're attracted to their genitals - I know it would make me uncomfortable if someone was attracted to that part of me, because I would be afraid that if I ever decided to physically transition in the future.. That they'd no longer be attracted to me, and leave.

And since a lot of trans people want to transition, or feel like they might want to someday, it makes sense that few would be comfortable with that - and that's something people with that sort of attraction should acknowledge and respect.

On the flip side, I suppose for some trans people, having someone love that part of you can feel amazing, because most people treat us like we're disgusting and unlovable for the same reason some people are attracted to us.


Anyway, I'm sorry that was really unorganized. I hope it made sense, at least. 

[Mark3]

I will rephrase my question: Are all guys who like transsexuals "->-bleeped-<-s"? Or are there good guys who actually want to fall in love with trans women?

Thank you for asking that so well, I'm Happy to reply to that.. 
Most guys on my Fb page who also are attracted to trans women, are mostly just attracted to women in general.. I know there are stalkers or preditors out there, but the same can be said about guys who chase models, celebs etc.. I run 3 woman's fashion pages and the biggest Andreja Pejic trans fan page on Fb, and I can tell you for a fact we get far more rude, sexist and disrespectful comments and emails on the woman's general fashion pages by far than on the trans celeb fan page,..

As for me, my attractions started on my fashion pages, I love models and fashion, and when I discovered trans supermodels like Ines Rau, Andreja, Lea T, Carmen Carrara, Niki Mnray etc I was just blown away.. From there i met and befriended several trans women, and learned more and more, and began to develops the passion as Ally I am today.. Because of the other fan pages I do, I'm pretty well immersed in trans issues and stuff every day...
Well that's my view & story, for what its worth...?

[Jaz650]

Thank you for asking that so well, I'm Happy to reply to that.. 
Most guys on my Fb page who also are attracted to trans women, are mostly just attracted to women in general.. I know there are stalkers or preditors out there, but the same can be said about guys who chase models, celebs etc.. I run 3 woman's fashion pages and the biggest Andreja Pejic trans fan page on Fb, and I can tell you for a fact we get far more rude, sexist and disrespectful comments and emails on the woman's general fashion pages by far than on the trans celeb fan page,..

As for me, my attractions started on my fashion pages, I love models and fashion, and when I discovered trans supermodels like Ines Rau, Andreja, Lea T, Carmen Carrara, Niki Mnray etc I was just blown away.. From there i met and befriended several trans women, and learned more and more, and began to develops the passion as Ally I am today.. Because of the other fan pages I do, I'm pretty well immersed in trans issues and stuff every day...
Well that's my view & story, for what its worth...?

interesting very interesting.

[Jaz650]

To be completely honest... Yeah, I used to think that any person who had a preference for trans people were perverts who had zero respect to the people they're attracted to. It was only until very recently that I started to reconsider (nothing happened to make me change my mind, either - it was completely out of the blue lol).

Now though, I can see how it's not too much different from having a preference for any other type of body part.

I hope this isn't inappropriate or offensive, but.. there're guys who prefer different shaped vagina's in women - long labia minora, hairy, chubby.. And it just so happens that some people prefer women with penises, or men with vagina's.

I used to think "If you're so attracted to penises, why don't you just date cis men?" or "If you're so attracted to vagina's, why don't you just date cis women?", but then I got to thinking that maybe it isn't just about genitals.

I mean, if it was, it would be so much easier to just do what I just said - date cis people with the genitals they're attracted to. So I figure there must be more to it, right?

With that said, though, I don't think it's unreasonable for a trans person to feel uncomfortable around, and refuse to date people who want to date them because they're attracted to their genitals - I know it would make me uncomfortable if someone was attracted to that part of me, because I would be afraid that if I ever decided to physically transition in the future.. That they'd no longer be attracted to me, and leave.

And since a lot of trans people want to transition, or feel like they might want to someday, it makes sense that few would be comfortable with that - and that's something people with that sort of attraction should acknowledge and respect.

On the flip side, I suppose for some trans people, having someone love that part of you can feel amazing, because most people treat us like we're disgusting and unlovable for the same reason some people are attracted to us.


Anyway, I'm sorry that was really unorganized. I hope it made sense, at least. 

I wouldn't date a guy who liked my penis. That's freaking disgusting, at least to me. Un less we would go on with our lives celibate till after SRS and after marriage and we must be head over heels for each other. I wouldn't have sex with a guy anyways, until after we were married in front of a priest. Have to go take my hormones!

[monica93304]

I'm sorry, but I don't much care for your title...
In fact as a CIS guy who adores many trans people, I'm kind of insulted anyone would even ask if I am a pervert for doing so..??
I better not say any more on this.. *bites tongue*

I understand how you can be frustrated Mark.  Many trans women that are new don't quite grasp realities and terminologies. 

In my opinion, I say "no". By far not all men are perverts.  Unfortunately the few men that view transsexualism as a fetish or fantasy stand out in the crowd.

[Mark3]

I understand how you can be frustrated Mark.  Many trans women that are new don't quite grasp realities and terminologies. 

In my opinion, I say "no". By far not all men are perverts.  Unfortunately the few men that view transsexualism as a fetish or fantasy stand out in the crowd.

Thanks.. Yes I'm realizing that.. 
But honestly, I don't know of any trans/trans couples.? Of all the life stories and videos and blogs I see, trans couples are always trans/CIS..? Maybe I'm wrong.??

I kinda feel that anyone interested in dating/relationship with a trans woman must deal with her with such extra sensitivity on so many emotional/mental levels, that with all of that effort and care he needs to have, the bond of love, if it happens, would be much deeper than with most CIS women who never faced any of these personal transgender feelings..? Because of that, maybe sex or which genitalia is there wouldn't matter so much, because of the deeper emotional bond.??

[monica93304]

I kinda feel that anyone interested in dating/relationship with a trans woman must deal with her with such extra sensitivity on so many emotional/mental levels, that with all of that effort and care he needs to have, the bond of love, if it happens, would be much deeper than with most CIS women who never faced any of these personal transgender feelings..? Because of that, maybe sex or which genitalia is there wouldn't matter so much, because of the deeper emotional bond.??

Yes...

[Dahlia]

Depends on the person....but a lot of (very masculine, 'straight')  'admirers' have tv/cd or even ts tendencies themselves....and I'm most certainly not into women, 'hidden inside' or not.

Those 'admirers' tend to like MTF not for who they are, but for what they are and (secretly) wish they could be themselves.

Fine with me, but count me out. I keep that kind of guys at an arm's length distance...and/or run away as fast as I can.

[Dahlia]

But honestly, I don't know of any trans/trans couples.? Of all the life stories and videos and blogs I see, trans couples are always trans/CIS..? Maybe I'm wrong.??

Almost all ts/cis couples consist of mtf and a ciswoman (who stayed after hubby transitioned to MTF)
I know several mtf/mtf couples who met post transition that is.

I also know wives/gf's of MTF who -understably-  quit the relationship for not being a lesbian and not willing to invest in a "one way relationship" with someone who's totally self absorbed because of transitioning etc.
And not willing to trade hubby's ID crisis for one of their own.

[Jess42]

OK, this is just the way I see it. There are good guys and there are bad guys. Guys that like trans women I consider straight, Girls that like trans men, I consider straight. Then the other sexual orientations in between. You have really good guys out there and you have really bad guys out there.

To me a ->-bleeped-<- is like a Dawg, hit it, get it and gone. There are guys out there that do the same thing to cis women. While it may be the one thing these few guys like about us, there is only one thing that some guys like about cis women. So really they are one in the same. If a guy likes trans women and it is the person they are more interested in then they are good guys, just like if a guy like cis women and it is the person they are interested in they are good guys.

I kinda feel that anyone interested in dating/relationship with a trans woman must deal with her with such extra sensitivity on so many emotional/mental levels, that with all of that effort and care he needs to have, the bond of love, if it happens, would be much deeper than with most CIS women who never faced any of these personal transgender feelings..? Because of that, maybe sex or which genitalia is there wouldn't matter so much, because of the deeper emotional bond.??

That is the whole thing right there. You deserve a cookie Mark. It's about emotional bonds and maybe later on love. Sex and genitalia and so on should take a backseat to the person and getting to know that person on deeper levels.

Dawgs are Dawgs and no matter what they prefer cis or trans, it is all about sex in their minds first and foremost.

[Brenda E]

Those 'admirers' tend to like MTF not for who they are, but for what they are and (secretly) wish they could be themselves

Dahlia, you've nailed it.  If a guy is interested in me because of what I am, then yeah, there's a chance that he's a "pervert".  If he's interested in me because of who I am, then no, it's just regular attraction.  It's the same for any fetish - it's an attraction to a specific characteristic or act, not an attraction to the person as a whole.

Whether that's right or wrong, good or bad, is a whole different conversation...

[Jaz650]

Dahlia, you've nailed it.  If a guy is interested in me because of what I am, then yeah, there's a chance that he's a "pervert".  If he's interested in me because of who I am, then no, it's just regular attraction.  It's the same for any fetish - it's an attraction to a specific characteristic or act, not an attraction to the person as a whole.

Whether that's right or wrong, good or bad, is a whole different conversation...

I like that! That they like me for me. I can live with that. They have to like me as a person. See when I was younger, I tried dating straight guys without them knowing, so that hopefully they'd fall in love with me before they found out. Hopefully they'd fall in love with as a person before they found out I was trans. I was disappointed a lot.

[herekitten]

Great question and no need to rephrase because I know what your mind is wondering.  There is no definitive answer because it would depend on sexual preferences, orientation, etc. To me, some are and some are not. I've met mostly 'nots'. I will offer up my experience in a quick synopsis with timeframes and you decide. To date I am pre-op or whatever-op.
Senior HS year – First boyfriend. He knew and some of my school mates knew of my pre-op. We never had sex.  He was the football star and 'the' guy. Had a huge crush on me and walked me to some of my classes, etc. normal stuff like that. Yes, some people gawked and all the other girls were jealous.
Age barely 18: Meet first husband. He was a marine. Never knew or had experience with a 't'girl. When I explained, he only saw me as a very unique woman. He called me his treasure and his rare jewel (as he put it). I experienced a military style wedding. He was my first love and still in my memories to this day. Divorce came about in unusual circumstances. He is presently married to a bio-woman.
Early to Late 20's:  Dating. Move to a resort town and work as a bartender in a high profile resort. Meet many men from all parts of the world. Get to meet and date some very interesting guys. I make an exception for the one guy whom all the girls want (he was all that!).  The intense attraction is mutual. I explain 'things'. He says nothing for a moment. Then, he says 'that is so cool'.  We are 'the' couple in town. He then moves to Florida but I do not follow. Long story. He is now married to a bio-woman.
Late 20's: Marry second husband.  He was a banker. He did not know or had any previous experience or thoughts of a girl like me. I explain and he was in disbelief. Tells me "I am still in love with you". That was first time he said he loved me. Divorce after 17 years. Sadness but has to be. He is now married to a bio-woman.
40's: Marry third husband. I purposely set out to look for someone who will know from the beginning. Someone who is kinda seeking a girl like me. And just like that, I meet him. He has never met a girl in my situation. He has two previous marriages (biowomen). When we met, it was a 'there you are'! type moment. We date for two years and marry. We raise his 2 year old son. Life is good. He is the love of my life and I his. To us, our families and the world, we are a beautiful couple and we celebrate our love
One day when I am old and wrinkled and hubby has passed before me, I lay on a morticians slab. The mortician will know. He will probably think "perverts, freaks".  So I leave you to decide :-)

[Mark3]

Oh my, that's probably the most interesting love life I've ever read about..? The rest of us can only dream..... 

I kinda agree with those who think the best relationships are with guys who are sincerely looking for a trans partner specifically, rather than just falling into it by chance and not knowing at the start, but every relationship is different of course.? I think that is what your story (above) shows, at least in your case..

I can't say that I ever had to decide that, I've been married to the same woman my whole life and can't imagine that ever changing..
But if I was single again, 25, and knowing everything I know now..? Who knows, I might be very interested if I met the right trans woman.?
I certainly would be a very good father to a trans child, that's probably more of what my calling would be, rather than a relationship myself.

[Jess42]

Oh my, that's probably the most interesting love life I've ever read about..? The rest of us can only dream..... 

I kinda agree with those who think the best relationships are with guys who are sincerely looking for a trans partner specifically, rather than just falling into it by chance and not knowing at the start, but every relationship is different of course.? I think that is what your story (above) shows, at least in your case..

I can't say that I ever had to decide that, I've been married to the same woman my whole life and can't imagine that ever changing..
But if I was single again, 25, and knowing everything I know now..? Who knows, I might be very interested if I met the right trans woman.?
I certainly would be a very good father to a trans child, that's probably more of what my calling would be, rather than a relationship myself.

I truly wish there were more guys in the world like you. You got any older brothers or cousins that think like you? Just kidding. But seriously though, any older brothers or cousins as sweet as you?

[Dahlia]

I lay on a morticians slab. The mortician will know. He will probably think "perverts, freaks".  So I leave you to decide :-)

Great story! I guess you're non op? Or not?

[Arch]

I will rephrase my question: Are all guys who like transsexuals "->-bleeped-<-s"?

In the same spirit, I am changing the subject line for this thread. Some of the replies might not make a lot of sense after that, but I can't leave the topic heading as it is.

Of course, that action doesn't seem to affect everyone else's response subject lines. I'm working on that.