Quote from: Harper on December 15, 2005, 04:35:36 PM
If you get "sirred" by a rather homely woman, just say,"It never ceases to amaze me that women who are not anywhere as pretty as I am occasionally will call me sir, isn't that funny?"
I tend to disagree with that tactic, Harper. Insulting someone's physical appearance isn't high on the neighborly conduct list, especially if they weren't even trying to be hurtful about it. You cannot soothe your own pain by causing pain for others. It's almost the same concept as 'violence begets violence'... ill-will only creates more ill-will.
Focusing on appearances also displays to others what is important to you...and someone who does this could come across as a very superficial and/or immature individual. I'm also of the firm belief that it's the
heart that makes someone physically appealing or unappealing--if we go around displaying our most unattractive behaviours, no amount of make-up or surgery or natural aesthetic appeal will make us beautiful. Likewise, someone who might be considered 'homely' in society's eyes who displays a beautiful heart is to me a most beautiful individual, inside and out. (Perfect example is one of my professors--dear, beautiful soul she is...) OK, I ran away with the topic, there, sorry...
I have accidentally called people by the wrong pronoun, and it had absolutely nothing to do with their appearance. For example, one day I had taken my brother to karate class, where they constantly address their leader as 'Sir!". On the way home at the grocery store I called the female clerk 'sir' since the word was so fresh inmy mind it was inconsious.
Sometimes it's a slip of the tongue, and with me that happes often, I get tongue-tied all the time, not just with gender pronouns. Probability would dictate that being called by the wrong pronoun happens 'X' amount of times in any given person's life anyway. I imagine it's quite a bit higher for TG individuals, but it doesn't mean it's intentional.
And no, I am certainly not trying to make light of what everyone here has experienced. Even though many of the mistakes made in addressing you are not done purposely, it still hurts, frustrates, unnerves you, and I imagine causes you to question yourself at times. I can't speak from any standpoint about you being 'made'...but, well...(sigh....)...I guess I don't know what else to say next...
Stephanie, dear soul, from a completely objective GG point of view, you are a most beautiful lady (inside and out
), and you will only become moreso as time continues. You just keep walking with your head held high and don't let the 'sirs' make you stumble out of your high heels....
XOXO,
Valerie
