How uncomfortable are you around cis-folk of your physical birth gender?

[Satinjoy]

I am quite uncomfortable around the born-male.  I am accutely aware that I am fundamentally different  from them, and always feel that pressure from them to be like they are, which would be torture to me now, there is no way.... the more butch they are, if you will, the more I feel like hiding from them, running.

How about you, among those born in your physical birth gender?  (at least, physical from the point of view of a couple organs that are used by docs to define us, wrongly.)

SatinJoy

[Ms Grace]

Depends on the men in question, but I'm generally uncomfortable around the majority of them, especially when they are in a group. Sadly I had to go to a boy's only high school.

[Cindy]

Same as Grace, I was the only girl in an all male Chritian College school, they just didn't know it.
Now, well I like men. I'm heterosexual and really enjoy their company. Definitely enjoy their company in certain situations but we had better not go there as I'm feeling lonely (cough)

Yes I get intimidated by drunks and the thingy situations that can happen, but most men I meet are really quite sweet. The men I work with are really nice and considerate.

[Jo-is-amazing]

I'm in the same boat as Grace & Cindy, Yay Catholic All-Boys school  :/ (well all boys but one )
Im pretty good at making friends with guys, although I am better at making friends with girls I don't have problems with either, generally I'm an overly friendly person anyhows

Although guys in groups definitely make me uncomfortable, and I do tend to avoid drunk or otherwise inebriated guys but I don't think thats really that unusual

[Taka]

there are two types of women. those who cling together, and those who don't.
i'm only uncomfortable with the ones that always come in groups, and keep assuming that i want to be part of that.
the other ones are just sweet.

[Edge]

I don't feel uncomfortable around women just because they're women. I feel like I don't click as well with them, but that's not the same being uncomfortable. I dunno I guess being uncomfortable around someone just because of what gender they are strikes me as sexist.

[Taka]

i'm only uncomfortable when they want me to act as part of a group of females.
not because they're women, that would be weird.

[suzifrommd]

I never liked the company of men. Never felt I had much in common with them and harbored a deep unreasoned fear that they would discover that I wasn't "like them" even though I had no idea in what way I wasn't like them.

[Mark3]

I'm not very comfortable at all.
I never really bonded with a guy,
My anxiety level goes up and I get quite nervous..
I talked to a friend from here on the phone recently,
And even though every part of me knows she's female(MtF),
The deeper voice gave me a lot of anxiety..
I do love talking with anyone though, its just a subconscious thing I don't know how to get over.?
Someday I'm going to be a therapists dream.!

[Dread_Faery]

I get on okay with most people, gender doesn't really play a role in my social connections. But then I'm a shapeshifter so it's kind of what I do.

[Erica_Y]

In a casual social situation or work situation it is fair to say I am pretty comfortable. My local office has about 75 guys and maybe 5-8 women so it is a fact of life !

Intimately who knows not there yet

[Paige]

the more butch they are, if you will, the more I feel like hiding from them, running.
SatinJoy

This is a real trigger for me.  Loud, macho types really annoy me.  I played football in High School trying to fit in.  I quit my last year because I couldn't take the macho stuff anymore.   There's something about men and team sports that never appealed to me at all. 

I haven't transitioned and when I meet men in social situations I've learned the tricks.  Talk confidentially, and make sure to shake hands right away.   Many men think handshaking is a contest, some even try to hurt you with their grip.  I can do this crap but it's such an charade and I hate it every time I do it.   Fist bumps are another thing that makes my skin crawl.

Basically I just feel like an actor  actress all the time.

Paige

[Mai]

depends on what they are doing and talking about.   in work situations which is where pretty much all my in person social interaction happens.  im comfortable enough to work alongside someone else that is born male, untill the conversation or comments turn sexual or sexist in nature. or people start talking about sports and cars, or sex. 

or today for example 2 guys that were sent to help me were having a argument over which of them has seen more girls panties and bra's.  and started bugging me about it and pressuring me to let them "hook me up" to get me laid.  at which point my brain just has to get shut off and i have to go on autopilot the rest of the night cause once they involve me in their conversation or comments, they will continue to bug me about it the rest of the night. is just inevitable.  (ive gotten a couple to stop).

unfortunately the women dont want to be friends cause im still a "guy" (not transitioning yet)  as ive already figured out when my only actual friend at work completely went off the deep end  cause she thaught i liked her as more than just a friend (regardless of what i say)  purely cause im a "guy" and was being nice to her.   failed to occur to her that i was being nice cause perhaps thats how you act towards friends (specially your only friend at work)  anyways.     if i meet women that would actually want to be friends with me, id gladly find friends but, guys, from all the ones ive met, when they view me as another guy they inevitably start shifting the conversation.

[Satinjoy]

So

Is there a relationship to self acceptance, proportional to your own comfort? 

Is there a relationship to sexual orientation as defined as what is attractive to you to either mate with or to ..... boom.....?

Is there a relationship to bullying, or other persecution or social/religeous taboo breaking?

My first instinct is "are they a threat?"

My second is to stuff the sexual desire to look at ... what I'd rather not have...., and the reason for stuffing the feeling is loyalty to the wife.  I am bi, made a decision based on love long ago I am glad I made.  If it was not, the female component of me, that very strong physical desire, would trump or inflame discomfort.

I had to shut that down.  My wife lost sex so did I, not possible on my hormone dose, but its not a bad exchange at our age, not when we are as close as we are, and maintain deep intimacy.

There is always another way to take care of the physical female need in me anyway.

So, Acceptance.... antidote?  I suspect it look at the transition times of those most comfortable. 

Thoughts dear ones?

[Shantel]

This is a real trigger for me.  Loud, macho types really annoy me.  I played football in High School trying to fit in.  I quit my last year because I couldn't take the macho stuff anymore.   There's something about men and team sports that never appealed to me at all. 

I haven't transitioned and when I meet men in social situations I've learned the tricks.  Talk confidentially, and make sure to shake hands right away.   Many men think handshaking is a contest, some even try to hurt you with their grip.  I can do this crap but it's such an charade and I hate it every time I do it.   Fist bumps are another thing that makes my skin crawl.

Basically I just feel like an actor  actress all the time.

Paige

Let me parrot this part of Paige's comment, it has become a gradual transition emotionally for me to get to this point. Most of my few guy friends are ok really, but I still see them as pathetic feckless dorks at times especially when they start in about the size of their male part or how great they are with a woman, I just want to slap them senseless.

[Satinjoy]

Let me parrot this part of Paige's comment, it has become a gradual transition emotionally for me to get to this point. Most of my few guy friends are ok really, but I still see them as pathetic feckless dorks at times especially when they start in about the size of their male part or how great they are with a woman, I just want to slap them senseless.

The temptation for me would be to wink at them and say... prove it...

[Shantel]

The temptation for me would be to wink at them and say... prove it...

But Shan and I can't do that, can we auntie....

I don't want to see the damned thing, as far as I'm concerned there is nothing pretty about either male or female genitalia and I've never been interested in looking at it.

[Satinjoy]

I don't want to see the damned thing, as far as I'm concerned there is nothing pretty about either male or female genitalia and I've never been interested in looking at it.

Hope I was not offensive.  If I was, I'd edit it fast.  Which I think Id better.

Unfortunately, I am not like you on that one my friend.   You are lucky there....

(Pulled the reference out already sweatie, sorry about that one).

[Shantel]

Hope I was not offensive.

That goes both ways hon, I know I'm an opinionated ass at times, it's just me and I never intend to offend with my own opinions.

[Satinjoy]

No worries.  And I appreciate a good ass.  Especially when its my new one.