Do I Look, or Could I Pass, as Female? 4.0

[SwedenMtf]

I think that this thread is too subjective and doesn't have much real world value.  We're basing our opinions on 2 demensional photos that may or may have not been retouched or filtered, and the posters are showing the best pictures of their lot; they may have taken more than 10 pictures and posted the one(s) with the perfect angle and perfect lighting conditions (over exposed pictures hide flaws, as do black and white photos).  The only way to know if you pass or not is to go out in public, and interact with people.  If someone posts that they are not passing in public, then that is the way that it is, and no amount of support and encouragement to the contrary is going to change their real life experience.  Maybe posting videos would offer a more objective platform to determine if someone passes or not.

I like the video idea - it's a really good one. I think it should be adapted. However, pictures is fine too. Even if its filtred or whatever - people doing this needs encouragement.. we are not going through this easily.

[Squircle]

Right, here we go.. I've felt a bit down about my looks this last week, and felt like I've not been passing. The first of these photos I think isn't too bad, it was taken just after getting my hair cut. The second I hate, and I feel shows up how masculine I can look. I would appreciate opinions.





EDIT: My top lip is a little swollen in the second pic due to electrolysis this morning.

[Squircle]

I'm hoping this link will work because for some reason I can't post any pics from my phone, you will have to just scroll down a bit to see the two pictures I believe.

Anyways this is me, no hormones yet but I'm 3 laser hair removals in which is working quite well so far. Going to be starting HRT in May, which I'm beyond excited for, to really get to start my journey.

Let me know what you all think [emoji4]

http://therealmemskylie.tumblr.com/post/114188077777/tried-on-a-new-dress-tonight-feeling-good

I'd buy you a drink, thats for sure 

[mmmmm]

... shows up how masculine I can look...

... not very much. If fact, I have a hard time seeing your face masculine in any aspect or in any detail. If there's anything little less than perfectly feminine, it's your cheeks, or the lack of it. But guess what, many cis born women don't have the youthful puffy cheeks either. It does not make your face look masculine, but it does make your face look a little less youthful from this certain angle.

[JLT1]

Right, here we go.. I've felt a bit down about my looks this last week, and felt like I've not been passing.

EDIT: My top lip is a little swollen in the second pic due to electrolysis this morning.

You look good in the first.   You look tired or stressed in the second.  Probably just the electrolysis.   However,   you don't look male in either pic.  If you have seen my posts in this topic you would know that I would tell you if you did.

Hugs

Jennifer

[ImagineKate]

Right, here we go.. I've felt a bit down about my looks this last week, and felt like I've not been passing. The first of these photos I think isn't too bad, it was taken just after getting my hair cut. The second I hate, and I feel shows up how masculine I can look. I would appreciate opinions.





EDIT: My top lip is a little swollen in the second pic due to electrolysis this morning.

Neither first nor second look male in any way.

[androgynouspainter26]

I don't know why I'm posting even more of these (no makeup this time, unflattering light, etc), I feel like I'm just torturing myself.  But if it's never going to happen and I need to go back, so be it.  I was utterly and completely miserable as a man.  But, hey, it's not like I'm any happier now-except now people stare at me in public and I have to worry about getting attacked every time I leave the dorm room/being totally unemployable.  My voice is good.  My posture is bad, but I'm working on that.  My hair is growing out now, it's a mess.  And I've been on HRT for two years...I wonder, since my cheeks have filled out, I've actually been finding that some of my masculine features are more prominent since my cheekbones are less visible.  I wonder if that means I should try to lose some weight?  I don't know. 

If I'm never going to pass, it goes without saying I should detransition, I'm not prepared for the social cost of being out to EVERYONE I meet, weather I like it or not. 

[androgynouspainter26]

Oh stop it. Only if you don't want to. I came to this country with a few hundred in my pocket and now I make a decent living, have an education and I really don't want for anything and I can afford FFS and all the surgery I ever need. You know how I did this? I went and took life by the arm and twisted it to my liking. I grinned and bore it for many years. You can too.

Kate-I'd like to try and see you do that all over again as a trans woman.  Trans women are four times more likely to live in poverty than the average woman; it's not because we're lazier than they are.

[ImagineKate]

Kate-I'd like to try and see you do that all over again as a trans woman.  Trans women are four times more likely to live in poverty than the average woman; it's not because we're lazier than they are.

Don't have to. Lynn Conway, look her up.

And she did what she did in a much different time when things were not quite as good for us as they are now.

[androgynouspainter26]

She's the exception, not the rule.  Listen, I'm happy that some people are able to do this, really.  And in this economy?  Come on.  Getting ahold of 40k disposable income is far from easy, and the few people that manage at are incredibly lucky.  I'm studying theatre (which if not for my need for surgery I'd have NO qualms whatsoever in pursuing) and my parents won't let me change at this point...also, they pull in about ~300k a year, so it's pretty ->-bleeped-<-ed up that they aren't about to support me in this.

[androgynouspainter26]

Also, Lyn Connway is passable.  I'm not, at least I don't think (am I?  Going by these photos)

[kittenpower]

I feel ok about my looks, but sometimes, I wonder if I look feminine enough, because, there are things that I do not like about my face; well specifically, it's  my jaw, I didn't have the money to get it done, and it's just one of those things that I've learned to accept.  My FFS surgeon recommended getting it done, but he said that it could be considered somewhat acceptable within the female range.  And now I'm at the stage in life where if I have my jaw contoured, it will cause a lot of loose skin, and I will have to have a neck lift done at the same time, which adds thousands to the cost. So, anyway, please take a look at this video I made today, and let me know what you think (please disregard the over the top head nodding, which was inspired by the original background music, lol.)

[SwedenMtf]

I feel ok about my looks, but sometimes, I wonder if I look feminine enough, because, there are things that I do not like about my face; well specifically, it's  my jaw, I didn't have the money to get it done, and it's just one of those things that I've learned to accept.  My FFS surgeon recommended getting it done, but he said that it could be considered somewhat acceptable within the female range.  And now I'm at the stage in life where if I have my jaw contoured, it will cause a lot of loose skin, and I will have to have a neck lift done at the same time, which adds thousands to the cost. So, anyway, please take a look at this video I made today, and let me know what you think (please disregard the over the top head nodding, which was inspired by the original background music, lol.)

Videos are great for this thread. You get to hear the voice and everything which makes it easier to tell someone if they pass or not. And Kittenpower, you do not have to do you jaw? You are a 110% pass, good voice and everything! If I saw you on the street I would never think something else than Cis. I think you're beautiful!

[kittenpower]

Thank you for the wonderful compliment   

[Mariah]

Kittenpower it definitly looks feminine enough. I don't have any doubt that I'm looking at a female in this video. Could you benefit from more work on the face of course, but is it necessary no. I think it looks fine as is. Hugs
Mariah

[SwedenMtf]

Also, Lyn Connway is passable.  I'm not, at least I don't think (am I?  Going by these photos)

Androgynous -
Hi, it hurts me to read your posts, because before I went into transition which was more than a month ago I discussed it with friends back and forth. My thought were " If I'm never able to pass - I won't do this" - I discussed it with my friends all the time. Basically everything I talked about. They told me "Nora, take it easy you will pass - and it's not really about passing, I guess you want to do this to feel more comfortable?" That's so true. I mean of course I am still nervous if I will pass in a year or two. But I'm doing this to make myself more comfortable. I want to show people who I am.

Right now you are showing people how you are and how you feel inside, just imagine you're self now being without breast for example. When I finally have those I will never be able to consider to go back. And also - everyone looks different. Some cis girls I see on the street look 100% more manly that you, than me, than most of the people here. People look different - and I think you should stop worrying like crazy and live your "new" like to the fullest and just enjoy that u are u.

[Asheylov]

I feel ok about my looks, but sometimes, I wonder if I look feminine enough, because, there are things that I do not like about my face; well specifically, it's  my jaw, I didn't have the money to get it done, and it's just one of those things that I've learned to accept.  My FFS surgeon recommended getting it done, but he said that it could be considered somewhat acceptable within the female range.  And now I'm at the stage in life where if I have my jaw contoured, it will cause a lot of loose skin, and I will have to have a neck lift done at the same time, which adds thousands to the cost. So, anyway, please take a look at this video I made today, and let me know what you think (please disregard the over the top head nodding, which was inspired by the original background music, lol.)

i love it, and you look fantastic. i wish we had more   

hugs

ash

[androgynouspainter26]

Androgynous -
Hi, it hurts me to read your posts, because before I went into transition which was more than a month ago I discussed it with friends back and forth. My thought were " If I'm never able to pass - I won't do this" - I discussed it with my friends all the time. Basically everything I talked about. They told me "Nora, take it easy you will pass - and it's not really about passing, I guess you want to do this to feel more comfortable?" That's so true. I mean of course I am still nervous if I will pass in a year or two. But I'm doing this to make myself more comfortable. I want to show people who I am.

Right now you are showing people how you are and how you feel inside, just imagine you're self now being without breast for example. When I finally have those I will never be able to consider to go back. And also - everyone looks different. Some cis girls I see on the street look 100% more manly that you, than me, than most of the people here. People look different - and I think you should stop worrying like crazy and live your "new" like to the fullest and just enjoy that u are u.

It's hard to enjoy life when everyone is staring at you and you're being treated like you're less than human and nobody will ever date you or take anything you say seriously.  Our world is not kind to trans people.  You are going to pass, that's for sure.  I think I've failed in that respect, and it wounds me because my life right now isn't good enough.  My breasts are tiny little swells.  It's as good as not having anything.  Going back...it'd be awful.  But this is hellish too, you know?  I don't think I could survive detransitioning.  I'm not able to survive being a trans woman who stands out like a freak either.  Like it or not, passing matters.  Take my story as a cautionary one: You may end up a disgusting boy/girl hybrid, a freak that nobody will ever want to so much as look at, let alone befriend, hire, or love.  I also did this to feel more comfortable, but passing is something I need to do in order to feel comfortable.  I don't feel comfortable right now at all.  I feel awful, all the time. 

There is no hope for people like me.  I've failed.  What happens from here on doesn't matter.  Unless some miracle happens and I wake up a few inches shorter with enough cash for ffs, my life is going to be a miserable hell until it finally ends.  If you transition, if anyone transitions, there is a possibility they may end up like me: Pathetic, sad, masculine-looking, and totally alone.

[kittenpower]

Kittenpower it definitly looks feminine enough. I don't have any doubt that I'm looking at a female in this video. Could you benefit from more work on the face of course, but is it necessary no. I think it looks fine as is. Hugs
Mariah

Thank you, Mariah 

[kittenpower]

i love it, and you look fantastic. i wish we had more   

hugs

ash

Thanks, Ash     
I'm planning to add more in the future.