Do I Look, or Could I Pass, as Female? 4.0

[Serena]

Oh stop it. Only if you don't want to. I came to this country with a few hundred in my pocket and now I make a decent living, have an education and I really don't want for anything and I can afford FFS and all the surgery I ever need. You know how I did this? I went and took life by the arm and twisted it to my liking. I grinned and bore it for many years. You can too.

Well that's something personal, some people like me, barely afford hormones, and I can't even afford laser, FFS is something I will not see happen in the near future. So I completely understand her.

[Serena]

Bought some new clothes and some new makeup.  Having a little fun, but the makeup didn't turn out so good, but I like the clothes. 


I know I don't pass, but anyone think I have any potential?  I'm also worried that I might need FFS.  What do you think about this profile?  The hairline definitely needs to be fixed, but do I do FFS first or go for the hairline fix? 

Are you even wearing make up? That's some really light make up XD Maybe it's just me who is exaggerated then. Well from those picture shots, I don't know, have you been on HRT? You don't quite pass to me, I'm sorry maybe you should try some eye make up, and maybe ffs is something you want to consider if you have been on hrt for a long time. Definately go for hairline fix, that's something I would see as being harder for me to deal with if I had that problem, but everyone has different things... Also maybe it's just how you took those picture, yoy know  frontal picture would have been more helpful sometimes

[Serena]

I've only recently started identifying as female and I've been thinking a lot about transition. I haven't had any operations or taken any hormones, I barely know how to shave properly. I guess I just need to know if I could pass as female if I do decide to do my hair, put on makeup and perform a complete transition.



My cheeks are a bit bloated, been trying to lose some weight lately.
Honest opinions appreciated, thank you.

If only it's your eyebrows a little too thick on the sides next to your nose, but nothing too masculine really, I think face-wise you look very feminine

[ImagineKate]

Well that's something personal, some people like me, barely afford hormones, and I can't even afford laser, FFS is something I will happen in the near future. So I completely understand her.

The point is, never say never.

[Serena]

Don't look great in that picture, first day getting my hair done, still trying out various ways to wear it. Been used to seeing myself as male for so long, kind of hard to see if I can pass for myself..

Honest feedback welcomed, thanks. :3

You're such a cute little girl, you definitely pass as one too! Good luck on your transition!

[kittenpower]

No.

Not even cis women "pass" 100% of the time.

There is no such thing as an absolute. There is in fact an extremely passable trans woman on this forum who said that she was sir'ed the other day... it can and does happen. Meanwhile I go out with a shadow and no makeup and get nothing but ma'am and miss, and even get bounced out of the men's restroom... Go figure.

"Not even cis women pass 100% of the time"
What? That statement is so far off, that it doesn't make any sense at all. Sorry, it just doesn't 

[ImagineKate]

"Not even cis women pass 100% of the time"
What? That statement is so far off, that it doesn't make any sense at all. Sorry, it just doesn't 

"Pass" is in quotes because they're not really "passing" like a trans woman. I know cis women who get sir'ed on occasion. Not all not most but some.

Passing 100% is a ridiculously high standard, for anyone is my point. 99% of the time? Sure.

[Serena]

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Definitely try something more natural, you know the look nowdays is to wear make up but trying to look like you are not wearing it... And you look like you've been playing with a 5 year old make up. It's definitely too much, if you go for a bright pink lipstick (which I love a lot - see my picture), don't go for a bright blue on your eyes XD

Also try to work on your eyebrows, and longer hair might help you look more passable and female clothes too. Your eyes are gorgeous tho, Good luck!

[androgynouspainter26]

That's not what passing means Kate.  It means that people can't tell you're trans.  That's the goal I'm aiming for-the opportunity to pursue my other life goals in peace.  That's what I'm afraid isn't possible.  Cis women don't face oppression because people think their transgender, sorry.

[chefskenzie]

That's not what passing means Kate.  It means that people can't tell you're trans.  That's the goal I'm aiming for-the opportunity to pursue my other life goals in peace.  That's what I'm afraid isn't possible.  Cis women don't face oppression because people think their transgender, sorry.

Here is my two cents.

First.  What do YOU feel on the inside.  Forget how you look, how others see you.  How do you feel?  Male or female?

Depending on that answer, that is what you should do.

If you de-transition then you risk having people think you are gay, or a very effeminate male.  You could still face discrimination.  You could also be very depressed if you really are wanting to transition.

As for your look, yes you already look very much like a cis woman.  The thing that is making it more noticeable is your hairstyle.

Your body shape is very female.  Your face has sharp features, but so does a lot of CIS women.  The trick is learning how to mask those insecurities.  Hair that frames your face might help.  There are wigs that are human hair, and it is HARD to tell they are wigs if you wear it correctly.

I know a CIS woman who wears wigs exclusively. 

Extensions.  Not that expensive these days, lasts a long time.

Your hair style is very wild and crazy.  It is going to make people look.  Which draws eyes to the sharp features.  Which makes them start to question or possibly clock.

That can be easily fixed.  But beating yourself up, isn't the answer my dear.

EVERYONE has those moments they worry they won't pass, are being stared at.  Etc.

But.  Your journey is not a fast one.  You aren't going to be a woman over night.  It will take time.  EVENTUALLY you will be at a point where you will have a job, life etc.

It is easier and easier these days to change your name and gender on your id.  Which will help you get a job.  You don't have to reveal your past, or that you were a born male.

Also, I know you say that gaining weight has made you look more masculine.  That generally isn't the case.  Weight helps you look more fem many times.

I also wonder if you have talked to your therapist about all of this or Doctor?  Are you taking anything for anexity or depression?

[chefskenzie]

    Hi there my Sexy Susan's Sisters and Beautiful Brothers and everyone under the Sun. I went to church today, determined to be a little more bold and classy and feminine, given my stature and only being on hrt for 5 months. I am not that great at applying makeup or eyeliner/eyeshadow/browliner so far eithier, but you be the judge. Tell me if I am getting closer to female. Tell me if I am getting closer to adrogynous. Or just tell me what you think in general please. I hope everyone has a blessed day if possible. Love and Sunshine   

*Edit*   For a frame of reference Let us see my 1.5 month picture on HRT and short buzzed hair vs Today at nearly 5.5 Months





































FADE OUT FROM SUNSHINE TO NOIR.........

Something that is going to greatly help you is that your eyebrows should be about 3/4's thinner than they are.  It looks like you added a browliner/color to your brows?  This is a huge no!  It makes them look much thicker.

As for a natural makeup look and what it is.  Just google natural makeup and there are tons of tutorials.  Also watch a TON of Youtube videos.  People think I am crazy when I say this, but watching Drag Queen makeup tutorials will help out a lot.  Simply because they talk about how to hide certain masculine features.  Where CIS women videos don't usually cover this.  The key is toning it down.

Bright pinks, blues, etc. scream trans to most people.  I know many love it because we never were able to have those colors as kids, and didn't get to experiment.  So it really boils down to if you care what people around you think.  If you don't care - then enjoy, and have fun learning.  If you do care, then practice makes perfect.

[ChiGirl]

Are you even wearing make up? That's some really light make up XD Maybe it's just me who is exaggerated then. Well from those picture shots, I don't know, have you been on HRT? You don't quite pass to me, I'm sorry maybe you should try some eye make up, and maybe ffs is something you want to consider if you have been on hrt for a long time. Definately go for hairline fix, that's something I would see as being harder for me to deal with if I had that problem, but everyone has different things... Also maybe it's just how you took those picture, yoy know  frontal picture would have been more helpful sometimes

Thanks, Serena.  Other than some light lipstick, I'm not wearing any makeup.  I tried, but it came out so bad, I removed it before I took these pictures.  And I know I don't pass. [emoji13] [emoji1]  I guess I'm curious if I have potential.  I also posted that side profile to see if people think ffs would be needed.  I'd like to get the hairline fixed ASAP, but if I decide down the road to get ffs, I don't want to mess up my new hairline.  So I'm just trying to gauge these things now.

Thanks for your response.  If I get better with makeup, I'll post again.

[CB]

"Pass" is in quotes because they're not really "passing" like a trans woman. I know cis women who get sir'ed on occasion. Not all not most but some.

Passing 100% is a ridiculously high standard, for anyone is my point. 99% of the time? Sure.

Completely agree!

Any woman however feminine they are can get gendered male depending on the circumstances, clothing, situation etc. As Kate says 100% is just not realistic.

[mmmmm]

"Pass" is in quotes because they're not really "passing" like a trans woman. I know cis women who get sir'ed on occasion. Not all not most but some.

Passing 100% is a ridiculously high standard, for anyone is my point. 99% of the time? Sure.

Passing 99%? And passing 68% maybe ...  WTF!? It's either you pass or you don't. It's that simple. It's either everybody sees you as only and ONLY a cisgender female, or sometimes some people don't. In that case, you're not passable yet. One is passable (in my opinion) when she can have a "bad hair day" and "without make-up day" on the same day, while wearing "dog walking clothes", and everybody would still only see her as just another female.

Some cis women do get sir'ed occasionaly.. I guess that doesn't bother them much, because if it would, they would do something to change their appearance in a way such a misgendering would never happen again. It's just that they don't give a f***. Try to find me one trans woman who don't give a f*** about being called sir (...or even likes it like some very butch cis women do)

[femmebutt]

I think that this thread is too subjective and doesn't have much real world value...

I guess a well chosen picture is only worth 1000 words.  But it is a cool way for people to get feedback, advice or a confidence lift having us all gawk at them.

I'd like to see a new thread: 'kittenpowers's 12 point do you pass inspection', where we'll reply with recorded video (purse mounted GoPro) walking into a well lit bar, ordering a drink and navigating thru getting hit on.  If you don't get hit on you fail the inspection, obviously.

[Dani]

Ok, this is very hard for me. I've been having the desire to transition since i was 17-18 (im 24 now) but i never had the courage to do anything about it. Now it's become stronger than ever BUT i'd rather live as a male for the rest of my life than being my true self and not being able to pass. I mean, passing to some people is not enough, i want to be perfectly fine by the end of my transition knowing that NO ONE will be suspicious about my past. So, im posting these pics and i want THE COLD HARD TRUTH, BE 100% HONEST, I DONT WANT WORDS OF COMFORT My biggest concern is my shoulders/overall body size. I know one of the most important parts to "pass" is mannerisms and face, but im pretty sure i can deal with my face (FFS and stuff). Anyway, sorry for the long post and for my English, its not my primary language! And thanks for any replies! PS: ok so i just read the post above me.. i guess 99% passing rate is fine.







PS2: i havent done anything to feminize my body, ever, because of the reasons above (not even starting transition before im 100% sure i'd be seen by everyone as a perfectly normal female, and if i never achieve that percentage, so be it, i'll be in a man's body forever)

Dear Miss Consufed,

You are perfect just the way you are. The most important thing to do is accept and love yourself. If for what ever reason you may have, you feel the need to live the rest of your life as female, you need honest counseling to make that determination. You must not do it alone. Get professional gender counseling first, before you do anything else.

Having said that, you are thin and young. That is good. Hormone therapy can block testosterone and provide estrogen that will change your body dramatically. Just look at all the other ladies who have posted before and after pictures here. You can do the same thing.

From my point of view, your shoulders are not too large and once you start a testosterone blocker your upper body muscles will get smaller. Keep your weight down, eat lots of vegetables, get proper counseling and hormone therapy and go for it!  At this point I would not worry about clothes, hair or makeup, just be your self!

You have not posted a picture of your face, so I cannot comment on if you need facial feminization surgery or not. Starting at age 24 is the best time to transition. You are old enough to know yourself and young enough to have not been under testosterone too long.

[ImagineKate]

Passing 99%? And passing 68% maybe ...  WTF!? It's either you pass or you don't. It's that simple. It's either everybody sees you as only and ONLY a cisgender female, or sometimes some people don't. In that case, you're not passable yet. One is passable (in my opinion) when she can have a "bad hair day" and "without make-up day" on the same day, while wearing "dog walking clothes", and everybody would still only see her as just another female.

Some cis women do get sir'ed occasionaly.. I guess that doesn't bother them much, because if it would, they would do something to change their appearance in a way such a misgendering would never happen again. It's just that they don't give a f***.

I don't really think it is that simple.

There was a cis woman on here asking for advice because people didn't address her as "ma'am" or "miss" at all and gave her a genderless greeting while everyone else was given a gendered greeting. It became so bad for her that she was even considering FFS... she showed some pictures and honestly I could never gender her anything but female. But I guess it happens.

And yeah, I get the part about bad hair, no makeup, walking the dog kind of clothes... to an extent. But to me "passing" is a spectrum. "Completely passing" is another but I think that is an impossibility.

Try to find me one trans woman who don't give a f*** about being called sir (...or even likes it like some very butch cis women do)

Eh I learned to brush it off. It's an acquired skill for sure but it helps with passing.

[ImagineKate]

Ok, this is very hard for me. I've been having the desire to transition since i was 17-18 (im 24 now) but i never had the courage to do anything about it. Now it's become stronger than ever BUT i'd rather live as a male for the rest of my life than being my true self and not being able to pass. I mean, passing to some people is not enough, i want to be perfectly fine by the end of my transition knowing that NO ONE will be suspicious about my past. So, im posting these pics and i want THE COLD HARD TRUTH, BE 100% HONEST, I DONT WANT WORDS OF COMFORT My biggest concern is my shoulders/overall body size. I know one of the most important parts to "pass" is mannerisms and face, but im pretty sure i can deal with my face (FFS and stuff). Anyway, sorry for the long post and for my English, its not my primary language! And thanks for any replies! PS: ok so i just read the post above me.. i guess 99% passing rate is fine.


PS2: i havent done anything to feminize my body, ever, because of the reasons above. Body structure is such a giveaway I THINK (not even starting transition before im 100% sure i'd be seen by everyone as a perfectly normal female, and if i never achieve that percentage, so be it, i'll be in a man's body forever)

Your shoulders are fine. You will lose muscle on hormones anyway.

I have large winter coats that can't fit me now. They look funny like if my 4 year old daughter is wearing it. I went from dress size 12 to size 8. I could barely fit a large top before I started now medium looks loose. At this rate I should fit size 4-6 soon. I lost weight but a lot of muscle too.

[codyfletcher]

you are on the cusp of masculinity and femininity, and I honestly cannot say for sure which one I see you as. but since you are wearing a hello kitty hoodie, I'll say female.

Oooooooh I like that answer I'm perfectly content with being a male, however I'm not a fan of the male "stereotype" if you will, like I like to wear cute things so people see me as a female lol I love fashion and colorful things and things that generally symbolize happiness. If I'm wearing something generally male such as dark shirts and pants or whatever I just feel down and my eyes turn dark and ugly. If I wear something colorful my eyes are a very bright green and I feel amazing

[Shawn Sunshine]

Gabrielle_22


Thanks for the advice, i am going to try again, with less intense eyes, thinner eyebrows but keep same color. Going to try the same look again tonight but just Version 2