Why are transgendered people the unwanted step-child of the LGBT?

[Sarah]

I wish there was some way for the stealth population to get a little more voice.
I mean with the internet and all there has to be some way for those who wish to not be public, to still get their views across in private, such as this forum. it seems perhaps there might be a need for this to be more formally taking place, you know, such as a "stealth issues or concerns" blog or thread so that they can better communicate their concerns and needs as a more 'below the radar' community, but yet still be able to communicate with the rest of us without being outed. This forum is a good place for this, but there isn't an effective system set up to streamline communication on these issues. It may be helpful to set somthing like that up. There are many great people here who are stealth and still with to participate in some way (ie donate money to lobby groups, participate in support for new transitioners, etc.) but who do not wish to out themselves publicly.

The people who are out in in the public eye, and are working to represent us publicly as well as work on legal reform, etc. would probably be greatly aided by some form of improved communication with those who are stealth. Also having a some way to count the stealth population with those who are not, yet still keeping the privacy of the stealth population.

I'm sure there is some way we can find a way that helps everybody get adequate voice and make sure peoples views are heard and represented.

[Pica Pica]

Why are transgendered people the unwanted step-child of the LGBT?   


cos they seem a bit weird.

[NicholeW.]

I really doubt that stealth is any longer an option. I suspect that most if not each of us could be 'outed' given someone's desire to do so being great enough. Just too damned much information available anymore.

If you didn't transition thirty years ago, stealth may no longer be possible.

But, i also agree with what Keira is saying Sarah.

I have no desire to enter the fray as a fighter or activist. If you want that life, please have it. I would prefer not to, just like Bartleby the Scrivener.

I don't 'owe' any other TS or former TS anything at all that i don't 'owe' to any human being who asks my help. An honest answer and any help I can conscientiously give him or her. I don't owe them my life or the contentment I have in that life. For me, being an activist would be to give my life.

And the lives of my sons. They do not wish to sacrifice themselves and their mother (me) for 'the cause.' Because the cause is the lives we lead with each other.

One does what he or she may be moved to do, or should anyhow. Do I feel guilty or beholden because my genetics have been fortunate? Or because I have busted my but to reach a place where I am content just to be myself?

Nope.

You be you, Sarah.

Nichole

[LeeProctor]

Why not replace the term LGBT with TG? A transgender is someone who somehow "violates society's rules in regards to gender", right? Society says that men are not to dress as women nor have sex with men. So whether you are a man who dresses as a woman, a man who lives as a woman to some degree, or a man who chooses to have sex with men, then you are "violating society's rules" for how men should behave. So instead of TGs being a part of the LGBT, aren't LGBs really part of the transgendered term?

Why does it seem to be common practice to associate the term transgender or trans only with men? I am not trans...just a friendly lesbian...but I have been trying to learn more and have noticed that there seems to be a bias towards MTF in so many things.
Don't get me wrong, I think trans folks are just as interesting as potential friends as anyone else no matter which gender was thrust on them or which they identify with. I couldn't even care less where anyone is in there transition...I just find it to be almost insulting that even within our own sub cultures...there seems to be sexism or bias toward genetic males???
Please understand that I am not saying this as a slam...but really more questioning. This is my first time here and I have been very interested in learning more about trans folks because I have realized how little exposure I have had in the past and that the T in LGBT does seem to be excluded or dismissed as a rule.
Anyway...just askin'

[RebeccaFog]

Hi Lee,

Why does it seem to be common practice to associate the term transgender or trans only with men?

    My thought is that the women (MtF) are more visible as a group than are FtM's.  Also, the men (FtM) tend to be more tight lipped about stuff and so bring less attention to themselves.

     Part of the issue is that society seems to find the Male to Female issue a 'prurient' one and so the media focuses more on them.  This is changing a bit, however.  I've seen some news reports that show some class in their coverage of trans issues.  Better and more thoughtful portrayals by the media might help to give the men (FtM) more visibility in the future.  I have seen a couple of really recent reports that covered FtM individuals.

    Another piece of the focus on Women (MtF) is that our culture is sexist.  Everything revolves around males so when society sees people who it considers 'males' stepping away from that role, it pays attention.  It's ironic because you would think the focus would be on FtM's in that they are males and are willing to be a part of the male world.  You'd think there'd be a party every time a female born person declares their true gender as male.  But instead of a party, they get ignored.

Just my thoughts at this time.
Not meant to offend.
anyone who can better state what I'm trying to say is welcome to improve upon my reply.


Rebis  ---> male bodied androgyne with no ties to either gender.

[NicholeW.]

Why does it seem to be common practice to associate the term transgender or trans only with men? I am not trans...just a friendly lesbian...but I have been trying to learn more and have noticed that there seems to be a bias towards MTF in so many things.
Don't get me wrong, I think trans folks are just as interesting as potential friends as anyone else no matter which gender was thrust on them or which they identify with. I couldn't even care less where anyone is in there transition...I just find it to be almost insulting that even within our own sub cultures...there seems to be sexism or bias toward genetic males???
Please understand that I am not saying this as a slam...but really more questioning. This is my first time here and I have been very interested in learning more about trans folks because I have realized how little exposure I have had in the past and that the T in LGBT does seem to be excluded or dismissed as a rule.
Anyway...just askin'

Hi, Lee,

Welcome to Susan's. Please be acquainted with the Site Rules and terms of service: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html

Nice questions. One's I don't see asked a lot.

I have a few notions, but haven't really made concrete a way to talk about them as yet. So, I can agree with what Rebis said. I might expand on that after I give it some more thought.

It's nice to have another lesbian on the board. Hope you enjoy yourself.


Nichole

[Robyn]

It may be partly attributed to age, to hormones, to socialization, or just to what list or thread you're on. 

In May, we went to Esprit with probably 110 mostly older crossdressers, 40 MTF transsexuals, and maybe 10 wives.  In August we went to Gender Odyssey with close to 400 mostly young FTMs and androgynes and many lesbian partners with a sprinkling of MTF partners/wives.  Both were in the Seattle, Washington area.  Very different conferences; very different demographics. 

It is interesting to work in both worlds, but the FTM conference is the more alive and more relevant of the two (IMHO).

Robyn

[Sarah]

I really doubt that stealth is any longer an option. I suspect that most if not each of us could be 'outed' given someone's desire to do so being great enough. Just too damned much information available anymore.

If you didn't transition thirty years ago, stealth may no longer be possible.

But, i also agree with what Keira is saying Sarah.

I have no desire to enter the fray as a fighter or activist. If you want that life, please have it. I would prefer not to, just like Bartleby the Scrivener.

I don't 'owe' any other TS or former TS anything at all that i don't 'owe' to any human being who asks my help. An honest answer and any help I can conscientiously give him or her. I don't owe them my life or the contentment I have in that life. For me, being an activist would be to give my life.

And the lives of my sons. They do not wish to sacrifice themselves and their mother (me) for 'the cause.' Because the cause is the lives we lead with each other.

One does what he or she may be moved to do, or should anyhow. Do I feel guilty or beholden because my genetics have been fortunate? Or because I have busted my but to reach a place where I am content just to be myself?

Nope.

You be you, Sarah.

Nichole

Oh sorry,
I didn't mean to be confusing,
I meant "activism" in a more broader sense like even posting on this forum.
That's pretty active if you ask me.
I mean anybody who ever sends the NGLTF or even the HRC (back when they were still representing us) money is being an "activist" as far as I am concerned.