Quote from: LeaP on May 11, 2015, 06:39:23 PM
All that said, I wonder why anyone who thinks they are transsexual would not want SRS. AND FFS.
Pretty simple answer there... because not every transsexual person has genital dysphoria in the first place, and many more don't want to go through SRS due to fears of complications or feeling like the surgery isn't advanced enough yet, and don't want to dilate forever or become infertile in order to do it. And in regards to FFS, a lot of trans people like their faces and don't feel the need to change them.
In regards to the opening post, I'm going to join the small crowd that says that voice feminization surgery is probably the biggest deal in regards to being accepted by other people... (if one is physically feminine enough that they look at least moderately passable. And most trans people can reach that point.) One of the biggest things that gives trans women away is still having a male-sounding voice. I've had a friend who had VFS tell me that people she met told her "we were wondering if you might be trans or not when we met you, but we decided probably not, because of your voice." I've also heard the statement "I pass just fine, until I open my mouth" tossed around a lot. I've met many androgynous-looking women who I could only tell were women because of their voices. And over on the FtM side, I've seen a lot of frustration with pre-testosterone guys being called "he" at first glance but then facing constant "sorry, I meant she"s once they have to speak to someone.
Basically, if you look androgynous, voice is the deal-breaker IMO.
The thing is, though, there is no magic-bullet answer to which procedure will help any individual trans person pass the most. And I think that is where a lot of people get disappointed, is that they're expecting one thing to be the deal-breaker which finally lets them live completely without worry. And, well, if you can only afford one thing, you need to be realistic. Each procedure feminizes only ONE thing. After FFS, if you had a deep voice, you're still going to have a deep voice. So unless you're almost perfectly cis-normative in appearance, you're probably still going to trigger people's suspicions. Likewise, if you have a very masculine face, feminizing your voice will only help so much, people will still be curious as to why you look a bit guyish.
Going into the procedure expecting that it will fix one thing and one thing only, and not be a magic-bullet nuclear-option that will cure all of your passability problems once and for all, is key to happiness with all of these things. People getting SRS first are often bummed because they still look trans. People getting FFS first are often bummed because it didn't fix their body frame or voice and they're still getting read as trans. It happens.
The way I see it, do some self-analysis. Just live your life, and pay attention when dysphoria and fears arise. What exactly was it that triggered that dysphoria? Keep a running tab of which body features triggered your dysphoria the most consistently. Fix that thing first. Tackle whatever it is that is having the biggest negative impact on your own life. And again, just accept that it's an imperfect process, that you can only do so much, and focus on tackling the biggest issues. What this biggest issue is will be different for each person.
And again, don't expect a single magic-bullet answer of "after this procedure all of my problems will be over." You're setting yourself up for disappointment if you do that. Just focus on the big ones, tackle what you can tackle, and try not to worry so much about what you can't change. It's all about being happy with yourself, and doing the things that YOU want done.
