Post surgical I have been out of work for two years. My roommate/best friend passed away two years ago. My brother passed away 4 years ago. Life after surgery isn't all roses like we hope it would be. The strange thing about it when I compare the pain of the above items and compare it to the pain I had before I transitioned. I found the time before I transitioned to be far more painful. I never used drugs or alcohol because I feared if I found something that would make the pain go away, I would not deal with my issues. I fear your use of drugs may delay you from dealing with some real problems delaying your return to a happy life.
With the death of my roommate I was running on autopilot for the better part of two years. Nobody would be able to talk me out of what I was feeling so I just had to live one day at a time. After about a year and a half, things started getting better and the first signs were I could sleep more at night. As I near the end of my second year, I find that there is a new me to be explored and that is one of the reasons I found Susan's. As much as I miss my roommate, I have reached the point where I look forward to a new and different life without her.
Time really does heal all wounds but we all have to find our on way to work through our problems. I no longer need therapy to work through my problems but you are still so close to surgery that you haven't defined a new life yet. Therapy to adjust to your new life may still be needed. I suggest you take you post and show it to your therapist. With that information your therapist will understand your problem is no longer transsexualism but a more common adjustment to the world that all people face.
I hope it works out for you as you have a bright future ahead of you that you can't see yet. If I can help you, let me know because that is why I am on this site.
