how do I help my husband with his hair? he has none

[partnerspossibly]

so... my husband came out MTF and is bald and not on HRT or anything else.

To be passing in public he is gonna need hair, how can I help him here? where do we get hair? wigs?
how do we get rid of his facial hair? is this expensive, can we do it from home?

[Cindy Stephens]

I assume you mean that he is bald, not that it is just cut short.  Wigs may be the only answer.  Fortunately he has you to scout it out for him at the local wig stores.  Removing facial hair is an expensive problem for most of us, and brings out spirited debates on the "best" method.  Check out the transition sections a little further down the list and I think that you will find a lot of info on both of these subjects.

[Sebby Michelango]

so... my husband came out MTF and is bald and not on HRT or anything else.

To be passing in public he is gonna need hair, how can I help him here? where do we get hair? wigs?
how do we get rid of his facial hair? is this expensive, can we do it from home?

My first tips is not misgendering her after she came out. MTF or trans women is women born with more masculine body. So they are born with male anatomy, but are women. (Sorry, if I explained it bad) Many trans women prefer female pronounce like she, her etc.

The best solution for the hair issue is wigs. Hair transplant may work too, but is very expensive. So I recommend wigs. I have no idea where you can buy them. When it comes to facial hair, you can waxing and shaving it home. But laser treatment is something a specialist does and it cost many thousand. It's really depend where you live and which country you're from. It's depend from place to place too. Some specialists is more expensive than other.

[Eva Marie]

HRT may restore some of her hair but probably not enough to go without a wig. A wig is probably the answer.

Today's affordable wigs use a synthetic hair fiber called Kanekalon - it's very much like real hair. Before my own hair grew out I used to buy $40 wigs from ebay stores that used Kanekalon and they worked just fine and would last several months before needing replacement. You also need to buy wig shampoo and wig caps and wig tape and some Styrofoam heads to store the wigs on at night.

If she is brave enough she can go into a wig store and find a style that works. Wig stores typically work with all kinds of people including transgender people and I'd be shocked if she got a negative reaction from one. She could call ahead and make sure that they don't have an issue with a transgender client, and she might be able to request a private fitting.

It is surprising what style you think will look good on you vs. what actually does look good on you. I thought a long curly wig would look good on me but I looked like a homeless person wearing it - I wound up wearing a shoulder length straight wig instead - thats why trying on wigs to find your style is important.

A good way to figure out your style if you don't have a wig store nearby is to buy some cheap ebay wigs of various styles and colors, and send back the ones you don't like.

Wig cap construction is important - I preferred a traditional wig cap construction over lace front construction - the latter I found pesky to trim correctly and the lace still showed after trimming and was itchy.

I wish her the best of luck finding what she needs 

[Martine A.]

Your partner may prefer different pronoun than 'he'. Just ask them. And give it time, both to learn and to adapt. Both of you. Nothing is set in stone and no big change happens fast.

I am one of the 'lucky' girls. I lost my hair. What I wear I call manes, but in stores they will respond better to the word 'wig'. I guess it depends on your budget greatly what you will get.

Some cis women (born as what doc calls girls) go bald too. Go where they are going. Ask your GP. I didn't find a good place for myself until I asked my GP. They helped me find a good-ish place. Probably also someone from your area can recommend store that will take you in, talk you through the options and then you can come again here to ask before you make final decision. In either case I recommend cool-off period before getting manes. Short demonstration by letting your partner actually wear the mane would be great too. I am not in the US, so may not count that all stores that are remotely serious let me wear manes first.

What I know... for full day wear every day, you may strongly prefer having two good manes. So you can swap them every week. Or have backup in case something goes wrong. Since those are expensive, and since I am not really invisible, I also use cheaper ones for dirty work and just for sleep. Also, if you are not 100% sure, do take just one and see how that goes. If it is all well, take another one in a week or two... in the start they won't be worn full days I suppose.

(more text below the pic)



Do take care to get the right mane's diameter for head, or your partner would get strong marks over the head which is probably not what either of you wants. Cheaper manes will leave some marks that should disappear within a hour if size is right; *ymmv* warning though! Those scratches may be avoided with use of pads made for that purpose. Well, also my best manes leave a single, subtle not irritated stripe above the forehead after full day. It is ymmv what is safe and comfortable. Best sorted out with pro and if you can get to test manes for free, go there and test them.

Just in case... by full day I mean anything between the two:
* All time spent outdoors
* All time spent when not in bed or shower, and such

Another important thing, get manes that match your partner's head/face shape and skin tone. Some manes are gorgeous but they make me look horrible because they don't match my face and head. That is why trying it on before purchase. About the skin tone, you may want to actually dye the manes, so shape gains priority big time. I never dyed my manes, but it is probably my loss. Do ask people in the store to do this for you, manes may require different products than hair of those lucky to have it.

Oh, the last but not least. Don't let them sell you damaged wares. Have a careful look and touch. Don't buy story if it doesn't add up. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Don't buy mane if it doesn't look and feel good on the person who will wear it. End of story.

P.S.
As the 'funny' part of this post, I will tell story of one store that is very well supplied, but their culture and customers is a bit off. This store mishandled one of my orders, perhaps treating me as a fetishist who won't come to pick up. I chased them for it until I gave up after a few BS stories. Go figure. Also, when I was there last time, some oldster tried to touch me and was talking dirty to me. WTF. I am glad I found an acceptable place via my GP. First time they took me some deposit to make sure I come back, when I told them I found them through the GP they wanted to return it. After that never got asked for a deposit by them.

[Martine A.]

the latter I found pesky to trim correctly and the lace still showed after trimming and was itchy.

I have been there. I trimmed the lace myself and got it wrong. Both scratching and looks. I didn't bother to study what they did different, but it got well after people in the store where I got it cut it for free.

About the color, on one mane I tried to apply make up over it and that was a big mistake. If you did the same, washing it off should help. Otherwise cut cut cut...

Or it is a bad mane.

[Emjay]

When it comes to facial hair, you can waxing and shaving it home. But laser treatment is something a specialist does and it cost many thousand.

Just my opinion but I would seriously caution against trying to wax beard hair.  Our follicles go very deep for facial hair and is much more coarse than anywhere else on the body.  I've heard of people doing it (and heard stories of excessive bleeding as a result) so I know it's technically possible but I'd never try it. 

Also, stay away from Nair and other depilatory products where the face is concerned.....  ouch!

[Martine A.]

^^

I will second that. Those are like no other hair on the body. Pulling them out sounds like a bad idea. I tried to pull one of the smaller ones but it just hurt without being removed, and I am not up for re-trying. I reserve my tweezers for eyebrows only...

As a second warning, I sense scarring or such may be possible. I haven't tried it, so can just guess.

[Tommi]

Just my opinion but I would seriously caution against trying to wax beard hair.  Our follicles go very deep for facial hair and is much more coarse than anywhere else on the body.  I've heard of people doing it (and heard stories of excessive bleeding as a result) so I know it's technically possible but I'd never try it. 

Also, stay away from Nair and other depilatory products where the face is concerned.....  ouch!

Many years ago, my wife decided to try to wax my face, just for a smoother face, not even due to my being trans.

Well, she put the wax on, put the strip on, and yanked.  Lots of pain, felt like I'd been slapped, HARD, in the face.  The strip was coated with hair.  My face was bleeding from numerous points where the follicles were ripped out.  However, I still had TONS of hair left, enough that you couldn't tell she had a strip full of hair, and I still had to shave it.

Waxing, at least for a full thick beard, is NOT worth it, IMO.

I have been recommended that they make a NAIR for the face, and I want to try it, but haven't yet.

[Ⓥ]

so... my husband came out MTF and is bald and not on HRT or anything else.

It depends how bald is bald here.  HRT in conjunction with the right hair treatment can produce significant regrowth, but there's a point where you can be too bald to ever pass as a woman without help.

Have a look here:



I would say (and others, please, feel free to disagree) Stage 1 & 2 can see almost full regrowth and can pass after a couple of years on HRT.  Stage 2 anterior & all Stage 3 would pass with hair transplants at the receding hairlines.  Stage 4 thru 7 is where the receding hairline is probably too far gone for transplants and would need a wig for life to pass, but if you had a Stage 4 crown but only Stage 2 receding, I think a nearly full regrowth to be passable is possible.

As far as beard, laser if your husband has mostly dark, pigmented hair... electrolysis is the only option for white / grey hairs.  This is pretty much the only options (no... waxing, tweezing, nair etc doesn't count for beard, unless you're certifiably insane).

Get your husband to post here, if she/he (really unsure, sorry) wants more info her/him-self!  This is a very friendly open-minded board here.

I must say, however, the fact that you're posting on your husband's behalf and haven't done what all too many spouses do and leave/threaten ostracism/be unsupportive is really amazing and deserves some applause Thank you!

[JoanneB]

Well... by the above chart I'm a 9? Balding since 14. Always needed a wig.

Color - Always a biggie. As close to natural or complementary with skin coloring as possible. Not everyone can pull off blond. Or red for that matter. Many on-line retailers will 'lend' you a color ring (You pay but refunded when returned in a timely manner). I've found them a bit difficult to see for sure what a full head will look like. I also lack imagination at times too  .

Style - You've probably seen a hundred articles on the best style for your face shape.  Same rules apply

And... You get what you pay for. But not always. Lower cost wigs are OK for experimenting or developing a sense of style or a look for one self. Ideally for 'try on's" a wig shop is best. However color selections and styles are limited.

[JLT1]

It depends how bald is bald here.  HRT in conjunction with the right hair treatment can produce significant regrowth, but there's a point where you can be too bald to ever pass as a woman without help.

Have a look here:



I would say (and others, please, feel free to disagree) Stage 1 & 2 can see almost full regrowth and can pass after a couple of years on HRT.  Stage 2 anterior & all Stage 3 would pass with hair transplants at the receding hairlines.  Stage 4 thru 7 is where the receding hairline is probably too far gone for transplants and would need a wig for life to pass, but if you had a Stage 4 crown but only Stage 2 receding, I think a nearly full regrowth to be passable is possible.

As far as beard, laser if your husband has mostly dark, pigmented hair... electrolysis is the only option for white / grey hairs.  This is pretty much the only options (no... waxing, tweezing, nair etc doesn't count for beard, unless you're certifiably insane).

Get your husband to post here, if she/he (really unsure, sorry) wants more info her/him-self!  This is a very friendly open-minded board here.

I must say, however, the fact that you're posting on your husband's behalf and haven't done what all too many spouses do and leave/threaten ostracism/be unsupportive is really amazing and deserves some applause Thank you!

I will respectfully partially disagree. I was a little more than a 5 when I  started thinking about transition.  With just monoxadil, I went to a 3-4.  HRT took me to a 3.  3000 micrografts put me to a 2.  3000 more should get me to a 1.

Hair regrowth also depends on genetics.  Hair transplant past a 5 isn't going to work.  But with good genetics and a bunch of money and time, it is possible to get great results.

Jen

P.S. Thank you for the informative diagram.

[Ⓥ]

I was looking for some disagreement actually, to open a discussion not only for the OP (partnerspossibly) but for anyone that is losing/lost hair and can hear some great result stories like yours.  It feels like hair regrowth and what is or isn't possible isn't discussed enough.  I've seen tons and tons of before/after with facial changes, a healthy chunk of body changes, but only a handful of hair changes and based my comments off of those handful I've seen around the net (and my own experience with regrowth!).

Btw, 6000 grafts is a lot...whew~

[Mariah]

None of us can be sure that he will regain all of his hair back, even with hair transplants. To pass he will need to do what I have done and that is use a wig. As others have stated they can be bought online or at a wig store. It's very key to find a style that will work for him. Construction, color, and style as mentioned are important. It was the second style of wig that was the perfect one for me where the first wasn't bad in color or style it just wasn't the best option for my face or coloring for that matter. If you can him to go into a wig store they can do far more for him, but I, like many have bought theirs online. I lost a descent amount of hair and is still regrowing on HRT, but have passed fine with a wig over a year now. It's wonderful to see your standing by your husband and coming to post on your behalf. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[JLT1]

I was looking for some disagreement actually, to open a discussion not only for the OP (partnerspossibly) but for anyone that is losing/lost hair and can hear some great result stories like yours.  It feels like hair regrowth and what is or isn't possible isn't discussed enough.  I've seen tons and tons of before/after with facial changes, a healthy chunk of body changes, but only a handful of hair changes and based my comments off of those handful I've seen around the net (and my own experience with regrowth!).

Btw, 6000 grafts is a lot...whew~

There is a strong genetic component in there.  But you are correct, I have never seen pure before and after.  I beleive the current MTF before to after is the third iteration.  I have seen some in some iteration that showed significant hair growth.

I started monoxadil in Oct. 2011.  Go to page 8 of the current before and after to see what monoxadil did alone for me.

[Briezy]

Well... by the above chart I'm a 9? Balding since 14. Always needed a wig.

That's about my number also. lol. 42 years old and just about to begin HRT. From what I've read it will be wigs for me, and I have bought quite a few synthetic ones to try different styles and some of them look really great for the prices, but I will eventually have to buy a higher quality, real hair wig. Has anyone had luck with a particular company or style? Also has anyone ever tried a complete hair system. It seems expensive and a lot of effort to maintain but as someone who hasn't been able to have naturally long hair since in over 20 years I am intrigued by the idea of having hair 24/7 and having it be a part of me.

Any info would be greatly appreciated.

-Brie