Hi everyone, It's my Birthday!!!

[Jenny0713]

Hey girls. Good to hear all the good news. Interesting. I can't say I have noticed any change in body hair. I shave most of my body anyway. It is possible I don't have to shave as often except my face and chest. I shave both daily. I think I might be about done with laser on my face. Problem is I have way too much grey and it takes much time and effort to get a close shave. I am thinking I need to start on electrolysis soon although I am not sure I can afford it. It is much more than laser. The only real dark hairs I see on my face is on my upper lip. Wish it would go away. I was at a GIC meeting the other night and a friend that I had not seen recently said my face has softened and rounded. I don't see it but it was nice of her to mention it. My head hair is also continuing to grow. So nice not having to deal with the wig. Had a funny situation the other day at the grocery store. I passed a mother with her child in the cart. When I got to the other side of the isle, I heard the kid ask his mom "Was that a boy or a girl?"  I heard her mom tell her kid not to be rude. I saw them again shortly after and I said to the mom that it is ok. She said kids say the darnedest things. It really doesn't bother me when it is a child. They don't know any better anyway. Talk to you girls later. Jenny


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[SarahElizabeth1981]

I've never had a lot of body hair. even facial hair I think I had much less then the average guy. So it doesn't take much for me to notices it when there is less. especially when the 15 hairs I have in an area disappear leaving nice smooth skin. It's great. yeah I have a friend that always point out how my face has changed. still not dramatically but I will get there.

it funny you mention the kids I've had a couple younger kids like 4 or 5 say "that girl kind of looks like a boy" I think it's funny. I can't wait for the day that no longer happens. but just the same. at least they gender me correctly in the first place. 

[Rebecca]

Fun when you cross that invisible line to being physically more female than male in the mix. Young kids give the best validation in the end if a kid cold reads you as girl you've made it as most of them haven't been PC programmed yet so they are still honest and call you as they see you.

It's fun when you end up not just not thinking about gender at all. It gets like nobody else is thinking about it so why am I.

Depending on your muscle/fat balance strength training can give excellent results by directly increasing your BMR.

I'm screwed though as I'm eating all kinds of crap washed down with lots of alcopops tonight. Diet starts again on Monday 😉

[Rachel_Christina]

Its funny, I really don't see any differences in my face yet, I know HRT is working as ther are other signs.
My big long horse head just doesn't seem to change :@
When june july comes and I go to the lake I have to be ready for it, I'm still dreading all of this drama

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Yeah, kids definitely give the most unbiased response to your pass-ability. things are moving along so just more time. honestly I'm not feeling a whole lot different the last few days. my emotions seem to have stabilized. My breast have eased up and aren't hurting. so, I think of it as progress. My body is adjusting to the new normal, I think.

My hair is feeling sooo much softer today. it's incredible. I love it.

I watched this video on you tube on how to get abs... and it was the first video that wasn't all about ab exercises, diet etc. the guy said to build muscle through out the body to reduce your body fat %. He said a lot of people neglect their legs and those are the largest muscles in your body. i did a great leg workout yesterday and my legs are still killing me. which I'm not going to lie I find it really annoying but it also means I did something. So, it should be worth it in the end.

[Rebecca]

Yeah like you said defined abs is all down to body fat % which is funny as most people usually think strong abs. So they end up over training which can make them kinda oversized if they ever do manage to lower their body fat. Wonder how much Chet charges for liposuction and tummy tuck? Did I ever mention I suck at waiting lol.

Jun - July for swimsuit season?
Gonna be hard to keep me out my swimsuit once I'm healed. Then the pressure is really on to get my body to bikini class which is gonna take a lot of work but it's an awesome incentive.

Ah the new normal. Good way to put it and sums it up nicely. Glad your mind and body are stabilising.

Uh oh major scariness I just remembered I need to stop my meds this Friday!!!!!
Urgh that's not going to be fun.

Back to fun stuff sexy dreams tippy toeing into my sleep last night and I got woke up just after 3rd base!!!!! Seriously universe WTH finally getting onto the good stuff and get woke up I could screamed. Then again I might have screamed for more fun reasons if I got to stay in my dream Mwahahaha.

[Rachel_Christina]

Oh i need to be tight for it! I want people to see me properly!! :')

And Jerrica, are you not planning on having a Cervix created?? I can't remember did I read this or what your final decsion was on the mater?

[Rebecca]

Yeah I'm set on cosmetic only and feeling a lot more settled about the decision. Feels so good to not have to worry about dilation ever. As I understand it there will be a very shallow depth created of an inch or so making it look the same to anyone that's not trying to penetrate me. Still have a sensate clitoris and ability to orgasm so masturbation and oral will be there.

It's true it basically takes guys off the table but they were only ever a "maybe  someday" whereas women have always been a definite.

After messing about with dating thoughts and groups to meet people testing myself my sexual identity remains unchanged which is good to know as even I was starting to wonder as it had been so long since I last seriously entertained the notion of a new partner.

Could be argued that I'll change my mind someday and I'll be first to admit anythings possible given the past year.

Decided my dilation time would be a commitment to failure by investing so much energy into plan B before plan A had failed it'd be a self fulfilling prophecy. A daily display of my commitment to separate would have ended my marriage eventually. The only way I'd ever end up justifying my decision would have been to focus on getting a guy then praise myself on my foresight.  Pretty messed up huh.

This way I simply live my life the way I want to and give it my all. I might not learn fast but I get there in the end.

[Rachel_Christina]

It makes perfect sense then so.
My problem for me is it would help so much with any sort of body issues I have down ther, so I would have to go all the way.
Even though I have a GF, I would still feel more complete with the whole hog, though like you the dilation thing does bother me and so does the recovery and invasiveness of it all!, 😕

[Rebecca]

Can defo understand the whole hog option and ofc it's a decision that we'll all have to make eventually. As you can see from my posts here I've been everywhere with it but in the end there's no right or wrong just right or wrong for us.

Some know and stick with it then there's others like me that think it to death then think about it some more. It's exhausting but there is a satisfaction in knowing I have given it that level of thought given the consequences on both sides of the choice.

Ironically part of me felt dilation would make me end up feeling less real instead of more as well as the inconvenience ofc. I like to think about my life after surgery and probably unsurprisingly it's the actually the exact same as now but with a greater choice of clothing available and no fear of exposure ever again. Having to spend so many hours on my back for the rest of my life doing what born women (generally) don't have to really didn't sit well with me.

I might be high maintenance at times but I'm a simple lassie at heart with a lot of living to do.

[Jenny0713]

Personally, if and when I do have surgery (thinking more and more about it) I would go all the way too. If I get it done, I want to be complete.

No idea if my hair feels any softer. When I started, I barely had any. I had short hair for most of my male life. So much nicer having hair now though. I love it even though it takes more work in the mornings. My girl's pain comes and goes. Sometimes it really painful but other times I don't notice it. I keep telling them, Keep growing! 


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[Rachel_Christina]

The only thing that puts me off is the risks and potential complications!
I would guess though astheticaly, the type you are going for may be better?
I will be using mine so I need it :')

[Rebecca]

Aesthetics should both be the same with much of the process being identical. There may be a bit more wiggle room for aesthetics as there would be no internal structure to compromise.

If planning to use it then it's a no brainer ofc. In my case the odds of use are too small to balance out the imposition.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hey girls just thought I would post a short update. I got my appointment for the second opinion Feb 15. So, that is super exciting. means I can keep my appointment at the gender clinic for April. I'm really hoping to have my application for funding off by the summer. 

No notable changes to mention. My emotions have settled down which is nice.

[Rachel_Christina]

Hey Sarah, thats good news, and nice to hear your emotions have calmed.
I have had a few changes this last while, my beans are real small, I do hope they keep growing. They can't even fill an AA lol. :/
The only change that has been consistent is the corners of my hairline, they are fading away! Hair just keeps growing forward :3
I am six months on full dose and beans are always sore, just hope they keep growing! :3
I hope t get an Orchi sorted after my vist to the Endo in may!
Fingers crossed

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hey christine... that's exciting I read that between 6 and 12 months is when breast growth starts to speed up. I only read it once and haven't really done any more research but sounds promising.

An orchi would be great. it would be so nice not to have to take blockers. You can also lower your estrogen dose so  reduction in risk of side affects. I've been told that if you get an orchi here they won't pay for bottom surgery for 3 years after. I'm hoping for surgery next year so i can wait.

[Rebecca]

Good news for the appointments Sarah and fingers crossed for funding.

So good to hear about your hair and breast changes Christine. It's one thing I haven't really looked into is hairline stuff tbh but sounds great. IIRC it's one of the bonuses of being young enough so enjoy 🙂

My SRS basically came about as I was researching private orchi then was like "Oh for X more I can just do it all". Swiftly followed by "OMG I can do this!!!!!"

I've borrowed a lot but I'll be debt free again by the end of the year and be all healed up too so good times.

Might be worth doing SRS over orchi if you can make it work but if you've got a system that'll let you do it all then awesome. I'm sure you've already thought it all to death but just in case.

Today is my last day on Spiro ever and no more E until 4th of March when my plane touches down in Glasgow.

I'm gonna go out with a bang; one last big night out while I'm still100% me as once T is back in my system I'm going to be a bit less me for a while at best.

With my T count being zero right now I'm hoping it'll have to reach a certain level to mess me up so buy me some time but considering T is stronger than E and the ability to dream was restored in 3 days in theory I could lose them again but faster. I imagine all the delicate beautiful crystal sculptures as my neural pathways and T as a great big wrecking ball. Yeah I'm scared. Very scared. As you know if my meds were interrupted my original contingency plan was death before T could take hold so it's a big thing for me. I've prepared my mind as much as I can and I'll get through it but might be a bumpy ride.

Absolutely no idea what the next 18 days will bring but after my op I shouldn't have to worry about T ever again so I'll take whatever is coming.

Pretty sure I'll be a "whiney posterior'ed female dog" my censor friendly version of my wife's diagnosis of me when I'm upset but it'll be worth it.

Ah visions of spa days with full body massage and more. I feel better already.

x

[Rachel_Christina]

Yea but its been pretty misrable the last few months, I just hope they keep going. I really don't like the thought of having to get a breast Aug :/
Its scarry bussiness for you Jerrica, this coming of tge T blockers and E, I can't really understand why we have to come of em before surgery, it sucks.
Thank god its the weekend.
I have new extensions coming, a company offered them to my gf and she picked them in my colour! She blogs
Can't wait till they arive :')

[Rebecca]

Sorry to hear of your miserable spell and hope everything kicks up a notch to make up for it.

Breasts I'll give mine another year to see how it goes.
For now I'm happy with them but would prefer a bra without that wee bit of padding while keeping the same size.
Should be ok as everything else has just fallen into place but it's that way I don't want to be too complacent.

Just out of speech therapy doing the frequency test thing my highs and consistency are spot on and my lows are in the shared male/female range so that's better news than expected. In all honesty I don't really pay attention to my voice but it is still changing as the exercises just bleed into my voice it's so cool. Expect them to drift into female/female soon enough but either way but having my voice classed as female/neutral is awesome.

Hair extensions sound fun but despite loads of people suggesting them I've never done it.
I can almost touch my lip with my fringe and my hair is long enough to need me to take it out of my tops or having it stuck inside. Happy days still need the shorter bits to catch up with the long ones but hair band and hairspray and I'm good to go.

Yeah stopping my meds sucks I think it's just being overly cautions as my E is in the normal female range so wouldn't have expected any higher risk of DVT or any problems than any other woman. None the less to get what I want I'll do what I'm told and by my birthday I should be back to normal hormonally and surgically.

After today there is only 1 more Friday in Scotland for me preop.....

[Rachel_Christina]

The voice sesssions sound great!
I have to start.
Oh extensions are class.
My hair is already 12-15" long
Between my shoulder blades or just below