Hi everyone, It's my Birthday!!!

[Tasha_]

Sorry to hear about your mom Christine. We all know how tough family can be. Anyone really..... I am alright, just busy really.... congrats on "your body growing into you".... that is wonderful!!! I can't wait to so the same!!!

I am glad your surgery went well Sarah, I just hope you're not in too terrible much pain till they take out the stint....

Love you ladies!!! Talk soon!!!

[Jenny0713]

Hope you feel better soon Sarah!


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[Rebecca]

Hey Christine that's really  horrible about your Mum.  Wish I was closer to give you a real hug. Hope your brother takes it better than your Mum.

I love the view from 5 Finger Death Punch (I know amazing choice for a girly girl) but in the song "Never Enough" it has a great line "I'd rather you hate me for who I really am than have you love me for someone that I'm not". Not usually my type of music but I do love that song and it kinda helped me a lot when I used to wonder about what ifs.

As for trans I consider myself just to be a normal female but with a trans history and I rarely think about that

Hormones are seriously awesome everything just works so much better so glad you are starting to feel them working.

Blood tests are fun I love seeing my numbers. It's like you can feel and see results but seeing the 0 T and chasing the 200 E is very satisfying.

Still totally stoked that you finally got to bury and walk away from Russ. So cool when everything is in your own name.

Love the shrinking feet although people say it's impossible but 11 to 7 is hard to argue (think 6 now though my wee boots are really loose when I don't have my thick socks on). I love when impossible things happen.

Totally with you on the orchi hunt Christine once they fix my throat that's next.

Glad the kidney surgery went well but that stint sounds really painful.

[Rebecca]

Time moving ridiculously fast and slow at the same time. Kinda like wow it's November already and at the same time next week feels like forever away.

Good and bad thing about being busy I guess.

Randomness genital electrolysis not that bad and my nervous system seems to have finished developing so no more extra ow for stuff.

Getting fixated on next year. Going to make it happen one way or another I'll be finished next year.

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[Jenny0713]

Great to hear of your progress. 0T? Really?  Wow!  That's awesome!  I have an appointment in December with my endocrinologist so I hope to get a view at my numbers too. Yes, it is really cool seeing Russ disappear from all my accounts, drivers license, etc. My mom still isn't getting the idea down though. My son and I were at their house sitting with my dad while mom went shopping. Dad has dementia and recently took a big fall and cut and bruised his face up real bad. Poor guy. He looked like a cross between Rocky and Frankenstein. Anyway, Mom is still calling me Russ quite a bit. It made me feel weird but I didn't push it. I figure she will get the idea in time. At least we are getting along for now. Yes, I too wish you all were close by so I could give you all big hugs!

Sarah, I hope you are starting to feel better. Been thinking of you lots. My son (CJ) has his scoliosis surgery on Tuesday. He is getting a big metal rod put into his spine to keep his spine straight. Right now, it has a pretty severe curvature to it. Makes him walk somewhat crooked. They say he will recover quickly in a few weeks.

Just woke up so I need to get in the shower and get ready. CJ is here with me this weekend. I think I am going to take him to the new Dr. Strange movie today. We enjoy doing fun stuff together. I really feel he and I have a better relationship than we did before I came out and left the house. He's a great kid.

Talk to you all later!  Love you all!

Jenny


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[Rebecca]

In fairness my preHRT T level was only 10.4 nmol/L (normal range 10-36). Lucky I knew who I was or they would probably have tried to top me up with T ewwww. Tests annoyingly don't actually say zero tbh the lowest they report is under 0.5 but that'll do. The results in my head tell me enough now that crap is no longer messing me up.

Your son's condition sounds sore but promising.

The dementia with your Dad could be an ongoing problem if he loses the ability to learn. Hopefully your Mum sorts herself out quick though a talk about continuity might help if your son is ever visiting her as obviously you can't let her deadname you in front of him. If she cares about you or her grandson she'll do it.

Movies always good I'm just making dinner in my jammies then settling down with the family for Buffyfest

[Rebecca]

It might be bad advice but be careful about letting you Mum deadname you often or she'll think it's ok and have a harder time correcting herself later.

[Jenny0713]

Good point.


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[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hey girls,
    got the stint out today.... still having some muscle spams which are incredibly painful but the meds help with that.    I'm at least feeling better and my body seems much happier. Got a follow up appointment next month to see how thing are and see what I can do to prevent it from happening again.

Jenny my thoughts will be with you and your son today. I'm hoping he make a good, speedy recovery.

take care girls.

[Rebecca]

Glad the stint it out and you're feeling better.

Hope all goes well with CJ.

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[Jenny0713]

So good to hear you are doing better. Hopefully the pain lessens soon.

CJ is doing well. He is resting.  They are hoping he can start getting out of bed today and by the end of the week walking and using stairs. Once he can do that he can go home. Probably will be out of school for 2 to 4 weeks though.


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[Rebecca]

Hey gals. New plan orchi is off the table and I'm going to make Thailand happen.

Not much of a plan yet but I'm going to try for Chettawut and put a deposit down asap. Too sleepy but I'll play with my numbers tomorrow to work something out.

After that the real work begins.

[Jenny0713]

Awesome!  Good luck!


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[Rachel_Christina]

Thats great news Jerrica, I hope you can pull it off! it will be expensive!
And Jenny, I hope for your son a real speedy recovery, I have heard of this condition before, I had a friend in Ireland have it, and they fixed it! Its scary stuff mind.
Hopefully everyone keeps feeling better and better, you too Sarah!
My mad work hours still continue sort if, got out at half 8 tonight, and have to work Saturday morning >__<
I wonder wher my T levels are at as I still feel relatively strong, like I have powered through same as every year. Maybe its mental strength though :') 10 days till my endo, and I'm almost 4 months too, gteatest change I have had is my hairline, I just find it amasing, and so exciting, those corners I used to have are just fading away!
I just hope it continues and increases when I get increased!
Oooohh also spot a stunning bag In town and I really want it, its dark grean suede fabric, its really stunning, I will see if I pick it up tomoro. After work of course :@

[Rebecca]

Loving the sound of your hair stuff and that bag. Strength should be safe enough as the T drop should only make it harder to gain new muscle and not directly reduce whatever you had so if you keep it active you'll stay strong.

To reduce what little I had I just kinda stopped using them and never let them amp up to full power. Gradually they changed so my max power was based on the max strength used.

For me though my strength usually felt a bit demony so letting go of a strength that wasn't mine actually felt really good. I'm lucky though in that I don't need strength in my life. For heavy lifting I'm ok with playing the damsel in distress and letting a big strong gentleman assist. That said I am planning to be supergirl with marathons, triathlons etc some day.

Thailand I'm so excited but I'm expecting him to be just as booked solid as Suporn but if he's got a slot I'll take it and make it work. Still to properly cost it but reckon with £7.5k for surgery even if I allow the same again for costs then £15k sounds reasonable as a bottom line. Planning to take out a loan. If I'm refused I have a business thing I can cash in. Either way the money will be the easy part given a couple of months (then years to repay ofc). Time off work I'll be taking with or without their blessing and my SO can handle the family while I'm away so I guess time is ok too.

That just leaves booking stuff and can't do that until Chet gets back to me. I don't even have anything for deposit yet but know I'll get it to him within 24h (yup I'm that determined).

You know that feeling when you say "I wish I did this 6 months ago" Yeah I'm feeling that a lot now plan B has become plan A.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hi girls,
   lots of things going on with you all good to hear the updates. too bad you're still working so much christine hopefully it lets up some more. how are things with your mum?

Jenny what I was told from parents of trans kids is it takes some time for them to adjust. I wouldn't harp on your mum too much just yet. although I understand it's hard. It kills me every time I see or hear my old name. Thankfully it's getting to be a lot less. it's a big change for them as it is for us.  I gave my mum lots of time to adjust.. but we also usually use nick names for each other so I also don't hear my name that often. Now that she has called me Sarah, even if only once, I don't let it slide anymore. if she calls me Marcus I promptly tell her that isn't my name and she apologizes. I can't wait to for my voice training to start and the estrogen. I thinks it's hard for her to call me Sarah when she still sees and hears her boy. So I think with changes to my voice and and face it will be easier for her... at least I hope it is.

I think I mentioned I ended up with a referral to a regular psychiatrist who I was supposed to see in December. I was hoping he would at least be able to help me with the hormones. He called me this past week and asked if I could come in that day as he had a cancellation. I said yes and went to see him. he told me he has a couple other trans patients and he tried referring them for hormones. The response he got was that he wasn't qualified and they would only accept referrals from the gender specialists. So it looks like he can't help me with that. At the end he said "you're not depressed and your anxiety level is low I don't even want to prescribe you anything" So not much help on my journey.

No more problem or pain from the kidneys so that's good. Still having a really hard time getting enough sleep so I have been so tired all week. take care girls

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Oh Jerrica I forgot to mention I know someone that is going to Thailand this December for breast augmentation trach shave and her bottom surgery. I think she is seeing chet. if you have any questions I can ask her for you

[Rebecca]

Ok I've got my heart rate back under control for a moment but if I can bend the rest of the universe to my will I can get February 2017!!!!!!!! Can I get an "OMG!!!!" yes I can "OH MY GOOOOOD!!!!!!!". February holy crap that is way better than anything I could have imagined.

I'm so freaking out with excitement it's unbelievable. Will be at my Mum's for "wine time" so me, my mum & my sis will have the chance to reality check me and my plans. They kinda got scared when I first mentioned Thailand last week but that was due to lack of information. Saw my sis since in passing so she's been reassured. Both will be solidly onside by dinner time. SO & DD both with me already which is great.

I know I can make this work and timing is perfect by my next birthday (April) I'll be all me.

[Rebecca]

Cool thanks Sarah

Sorry I was so deliriously happy on that last post I totally forgot to say thank you.

I've got millions of research to do in preparation for Thailand and have marked a few posts here on Susans to read and reread loads about the experience not just of the surgery but the stay too.

118 days to go but who's counting ♡

[Rebecca]

Sis defo on side. My mum will back me in so far as it's what I need to do but seeks reassurance about Thailand. She has a good medical mind and will do her research on the net about it fairly. I'm confident she will arrive at the same conclusions as me in the end as her honest blessing for Thailand would be appreciated.

Unfortunately I think it also kinda hammers home the last nail in "his" coffin which I think unsettles her a bit but she did say the best thing ever in that she likes me more.

Interesting I asked about switching and stuff when I was younger and yeah I was a total Jeckyll & Hyde apparently.

Also offered financial help but I really don't want to burden her if I can avoid it.

The gods seem to be in a good mood though as when I logged into my bank it offered me a £4k overdraft within 48 hours. That should be a decent start at least enough to cover the deposit.

After that I've got 3 months to get the rest.