After SRS, I dated both men and women but, perhaps unusually, have chosen not to have sex (er, penatration). I'm sure that several of the men would have been interested. I've given oral sex to a few but, given STD and aids risks, never felt the need warranted the risk. I know many TS's want to 'try it out" but I just haven't been that motivated. Part of the problem was that I was not orgasmic for about a year after SRS and so figured, what's the use? A few tried to stimulate me but I quickly bored of that figuring nothing was going to happen.
I dated both men and women because I felt I owed it to myself to try to see what I like. I was never much into dating when I was growing up but, after SRS, in the body of a woman, I felt more comfortable and confident. At first, I stressed with both men and women that I wanted to be friends, and see what developed. I figured that would take the tension out of first meets. I found that people are very much into coupling and not so much into making new friends. Women took my word that I just wanted to be friends but men just thought I was just talking and they made advances anyway.
In dating both men and women, I tried NOT telling them I was TS at first. The minute I told them of my past, I noticed things changed...women would begin pointing out to me things they felt were male or female -- gee, just what I wanted to hear. When I was a stranger, they presumed I was female. It made me not want to tell them. But eventually, of course, I did.
One thing I noticed in dating men (aside from them being more aggressive) was that their shaved faces hurt my face when we kissed. Alll those little hairs were like needles pearcing my now hairess face (due to electro) and making it red. I wondered why heterosexual women liked kissing men when, for me, it was a somewhat painful experience. My ex said, "You didn't grow up kissing men so you never learned to like it." It made no sense to me. I've, on rare occassions, read about some heterosexual women who like hairless men (like swimmers). If I was a heterosexual woman, I think I'd prefer that, too. The Don Johnson stubbly beard --- UGGHH! What pain!
I eventually stopped dating men because I found that (1) I wasn't that attracted to them and (2) it seemed like I could get killed if I dated the wrong man. Also, a man I dated complained of my love of hugging and being close -- He said, "I'm not a teddy bear!' One thing I've enjoyed a lot is hugging and being close -- women I've dated seem more atuned to that.
I haven't dated in about a year - I stopped dating when dating services started charging monthly fees. I do miss having someone close. My best friend is good for hugs but a special lifelong companion would, of course, be the ideal.
We'll see. Maybe tomorrow.
Teri Anne
