hello.
This week, i came to the decision i want to change the configuration of my gentiles. i am very clear about this in my mind. but it shocks me. i am not a cross dresser. i have had good friendships with women. i am not attracted to men. until this week i never allowed the thought to change sex to enter my head. i made assumptions which were incorrect. but I've longed for it since long before puberty. i have repressed it completely.
and then i read online about transsexuals. about hrt. about the surgery.
the thought of never ejaculating again is just heaven. the thought of actually being able rejig my gender with hrt and cosmetic surgery on my genitals to function in a way that i cannot imagine.... is unstoppable in my mind now i know its possible . again i am shocked.
it is like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. i had no idea the surgery was so available or so good. i had no idea the hrt changes so much in a way that i see as desirable to have. again. i am in shock.
i do not want to appear in public as a woman. it is unimaginable to me. i have repressed this since i was 6. im 52. ive trued inseting objects up the arse and know that part of of my body intimately. but even rubbing the prostate, i ejaculate. its like being given a piece of dry bread and made to swallow just after youve drunk honey.
i do not wish to advertise my private choice. but with hrt maybe that too will change.
i am agog. i see the dr next week. the minimum period is a year on hrt. that's reasonable. i cannot know the effect of the hrt.
i really do not think i have ever been happier.
