What is the deal with guys and machines?

[Julia1996]

I don't understand why guys love machines so much. My dad and brother both love machines. Any machines. The appliances my dad gets for our house are always the  most complicated ones with the most features. I made the mistake of letting him drag me with him to get a new dishwasher. OMG! He took like forever to pick one. He looked at like all of them and compared features and blah blah. Every time I tried to sneak away to look at something interesting he would tell me not to go anywhere cause we were leaving as soon as he bought one. So after like a year of looking at stupid dishwashers he picked one. Its got all kinds of features and controls and after it got installed he spent like forever telling me how to use it and what it could do. I wanted to put my hand in the garbage disposal just to end the boredom! After all that my mom and I are the only ones who use it and the only setting we ever use is the wash button. He's like that with any appliance. And he has this old wreck of a car that he and my brother are restoring. They go crazy over it. When my dads friends are over they all stand around it and talk about it. My dad has a new jeep. I can't figure why he would spend so much time and money on something he needs to just throw away. He says once its restored it will look like new. So what? It will still be a old car. Thats like getting a bunch of ugly ass clothes from the 80s and restoring them. They might look new but they still are way out of style. Plus even if it looks new it won't have GPS, or be phone and device compatible. Who would want it when they could have a new car?

Can anyone explain why guys like cars and machines so much? I really don't get it.
Julia

[100miles]

Guy stuff

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[AnneK]

That's a question that goes both ways.  I have a friend who, when she buys something, considers appearance more important than function.  A few years ago, she bought a computer because it was red.  As a result, she often gets frustrated when things don't work as well as they could.  Well, that's often what happens when you put form over function.

Also, I watched a show on TV (Nova on PBS?) a while ago that compared male and female differences.  One of those differences is men have better spatial perception than women.  They also did an experiement with one of the apes (forgot which one).  They placed human toys, such as dolls and cars with the young and observed what happened.  The females preferred the dolls, but the males went with the cars.  It might be expected that the females were imitating their mothers, when they picked the dolls, but there was no similar influence for the males to pick the cars.  They just did.  This implies that such preferences are innate in primates, including us.

[Lisa_K]

Now now, let's not be sexist and make generalizations. 

I like mechanical things and technology. I own a big red toolbox with wheels, change the oil and spark plugs in my 34 year old car and love motorcycles and motorsports. In my early 30's I even raced motorcycles for several years and it was at the racetrack that I met my husband.



I only do airbrush art and graphics these days but when I was younger, I painted several cars too.



I consider myself somewhat of a gearhead and love that I know as much as guys do about some things. Dumb blonde I am not. Guys that can't even change a light bulb or find me intimidating hold no interest for me. Other guys find chicks that know their stuff very attractive.

I have no hang ups about doing guy stuff or having a tomboy side unless I have to break a nail doing it. It does nothing to detract from my womanhood or femininity and I feel it makes me a well-rounded person with a broad set of skills of which I am quite proud.

[MeTony]

I only played with cars as a kid. My granny wanted to buy me a doll house. Mom said "don't". She did anyway i put all my cars in the house and was very happy about my garage. Granny was not so happy. Haha

I'm the one using the tool box at home. I fix broken stuff and put shelves on the wall and stuff.

About chosing a car. I go for function before looks. My husband wants all the extra stuff in the car. I want a car. It has to be reliable and take me from a to b. I don't need all that extra equipment that makes it fancy and much much more expensive. My husband complaints every single time we're in the car. "We don't have this, we don't have that. "

Also, I'm the driver here. I always drive. My husband don't like driving.

I fix the car, change tyres, wash it and change lamps and stuff.

Stereotypical family. My husband does not know how to change a lamp. But he has no interest in that. He tells me it's broken.

[Megan.]

I'm an engineer,  and if someone asked me to label myself that's what I'd say,  before man/woman,  gay/straight. I studied engineering,  work in IT,  love fast cars,  computers,  tools and anything mechanical,  and yes I'm a girl 😀. X

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[Gertrude]

I think it also depends on other things, like left/right brain dominance and preferred learning styles. I'm into how things work, always have been before I have memories. I'm also a tactile learner first and visual second. Having someone tell me what to do doesn't work for me. If I can touch it and see it, it makes sense.


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[Gertrude]

I only played with cars as a kid. My granny wanted to buy me a doll house. Mom said "don't". She did anyway i put all my cars in the house and was very happy about my garage. Granny was not so happy. Haha

I'm the one using the tool box at home. I fix broken stuff and put shelves on the wall and stuff.

About chosing a car. I go for function before looks. My husband wants all the extra stuff in the car. I want a car. It has to be reliable and take me from a to b. I don't need all that extra equipment that makes it fancy and much much more expensive. My husband complaints every single time we're in the car. "We don't have this, we don't have that. "

Also, I'm the driver here. I always drive. My husband don't like driving.

I fix the car, change tyres, wash it and change lamps and stuff.

Stereotypical family. My husband does not know how to change a lamp. But he has no interest in that. He tells me it's broken.

I'm much the same as you, but I like value and performance in functional terms too. I like things that are integrated well and do everything well. Reliability is just one dimension, there are several.


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[Julia1996]

I think it also depends on other things, like left/right brain dominance and preferred learning styles. I'm into how things work, always have been before I have memories. I'm also a tactile learner first and visual second. Having someone tell me what to do doesn't work for me. If I can touch it and see it, it makes sense.


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I don't care about how anything works as long as it works. I also like stuff that is pretty and looks cute. Who cares if something will last a long time if it's ugly? That just like even longer you have to look at the ugly thing. I totally got a lecture about that from my dad. We were looking at phones and I had like 3 of them picked out. My dad asked me exactly why I chose those 3 . I told him because they were cute and I liked the colors. He told me you don't buy things because they are cute. You buy them because they work well, are a good buy, etc. I kind of get what he's saying but at the same time I didn't want a ugly phone that people would totally rag on.
Julia

[Devlyn]

Not just guys...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,221841.0.html
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,198455.0.html
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197133.0.html

Hugs, Devlyn

[rmaddy]

Several comments:

1.  Not all men like machines.  Not all girls don't.  I think it's less of a difference than you suppose.

2.  To the extent that men tend to like machines more than the women in their families, I would look first to the ways in which boys and girls were socialized as children.  If boys were constantly told how pretty they are, and girls told that they were very brave, boys might grow up more inclined to care about their bodies and/or beauty and girls might be more inclined to grow up valuing courage.  Not, of course, that this doesn't happen in some families, but you have to admit, America has a fetishistic devotion to pink/blue.  If you buy a kid a toy truck then get down on the floor with them and play, chances are your kid is going to like trucks.

3.  People tend to put a lot of effort into the responsibilities assigned to them.  Is it possible that the men in your family obsess about purchasing the right machine because they perceive that their competence is somewhat measured by the quality of the machines they purchase?

[Julia1996]

Now now, let's not be sexist and make generalizations. 

I like mechanical things and technology. I own a big red toolbox with wheels, change the oil and spark plugs in my 34 year old car and love motorcycles and motorsports. In my early 30's I even raced motorcycles for several years and it was at the racetrack that I met my husband.



I only do airbrush art and graphics these days but when I was younger, I painted several cars too.



I consider myself somewhat of a gearhead and love that I know as much as guys do about some things. Dumb blonde I am not. Guys that can't even change a light bulb or find me intimidating hold no interest for me. Other guys find chicks that know their stuff very attractive.

I have no hang ups about doing guy stuff or having a tomboy side unless I have to break a nail doing it. It does nothing to detract from my womanhood or femininity and I feel it makes me a well-rounded person with a broad set of skills of which I am quite proud.

I think its totally cool you like cars and know how to fix them. I totally know nothing about cars or how they work. I can put in gas and thats it. I've been in the garage when my dad or brother is messing with a car and they are talking about doing this or that to it. Then when I look at the motor with it's millions of pieces it's like standing over someone whose been opened surgically and trying to figure out how to do surgery on them. I think it's great that there are women who know how to repair cars. I just could never be one if them.

[Gertrude]

I don't care about how anything works as long as it works. I also like stuff that is pretty and looks cute. Who cares if something will last a long time if it's ugly? That just like even longer you have to look at the ugly thing. I totally got a lecture about that from my dad. We were looking at phones and I had like 3 of them picked out. My dad asked me exactly why I chose those 3 . I told him because they were cute and I liked the colors. He told me you don't buy things because they are cute. You buy them because they work well, are a good buy, etc. I kind of get what he's saying but at the same time I didn't want a ugly phone that people would totally rag on.
Julia

Like I said, it's how you're built and we're all built a little different. I am slightly left brained, tactile learner that can switch hit in baseball and I also play the drums. After a while we see patterns in behaviors and aptitudes. One isn't better than the other by itself, only in application. You wouldn't want me painting portraits for a living, and maybe you wouldn't be the chief engineer on the rocket that will take us to Mars. That's ok. Instead of focusing on the differences and how it divides, just accept people the way they are.

[Lisa_K]

As a young boy, I was very girly and shied away from anything I thought was masculine. It was only after I transitioned at 18 and gained confidence in myself and my identity that I felt more comfortable expressing that side of my personality and interests. I'm still "girly" and feminine in the traditional way that people think of. I have long hair, nails, wear make-up and am mostly quiet and demure but when the situation calls for it, don't mind getting my hands dirty or doing what needs to be done. Part of this is from being raised to be fiercely independent by a mother that grew up on a farm and knew how to use a hammer and do stuff. Part of it also is from being married to a professional mechanic for 12 years that taught me a lot.

This week for example. My old car with 232,650 miles was due for emissions inspection. To help make sure it passed, I changed the oil, spark plugs and air filter. I can't say that I enjoyed doing this but I did like not having to depend on or pay someone else to do it. Self sufficiency matters a lot to me and knowing that I don't need a man to do these kinds of things makes me feel strong.

[Janes Groove]

Well machines are fascinating and humans are attracted to fascinating things.  But the patriarchal culture steers boys away from feminine things and girls away from masculine things.  Traditionally this has been done to control women and make them more dependent upon men.

When women are discouraged from pursuing the traditional paths to success in life for working class kids, i.e., math, science, engineering, the trades, the military, etc. One is forced to stop and ask.

What the heck is going on here?

[AnneK]

Several comments:

1.  Not all men like machines.  Not all girls don't.  I think it's less of a difference than you suppose.

2.  To the extent that men tend to like machines more than the women in their families, I would look first to the ways in which boys and girls were socialized as children.  If boys were constantly told how pretty they are, and girls told that they were very brave, boys might grow up more inclined to care about their bodies and/or beauty and girls might be more inclined to grow up valuing courage.  Not, of course, that this doesn't happen in some families, but you have to admit, America has a fetishistic devotion to pink/blue.  If you buy a kid a toy truck then get down on the floor with them and play, chances are your kid is going to like trucks.

3.  People tend to put a lot of effort into the responsibilities assigned to them.  Is it possible that the men in your family obsess about purchasing the right machine because they perceive that their competence is somewhat measured by the quality of the machines they purchase?

In that show I watched, they said some things are learned, but others innate.  So, it's a mix of nature vs nurture.  There have also been some cases of people have gender surgery as babies, for various medical reasons.  They tend to behave as though they were their original sex, not how they were raised.  One case that comes to mind was someone in Winnipeg, who was born male, but due to a botched circumcision was made into a girl.  She always felt she was in the wrong body and later on had GCS to become male again.  He eventually committed suicide.

[MeTony]

I also believe it is how our brain is wired. Some people are good at some things others at other things. We are all needed to complete the cycle.

When I was a kid I used to pick down my radio into atoms and build it back together again. Over and over.

When I was 9 my dad became one of the first computer technicians in my city. He bought a computer in 1986. I was amazed and really really wanted one myself. I got my first computer in 1987. Dad came with a huge bag to me. It was filled with pieces to make a computer. He emptied the bag on my floor and said, " If you want one, you build one." I was 10 years old. I put it together and had a working PC in a week. He did not help me at all.

Another thing, I wanted a bike. We could not afford one. So I went around in the forest and searched in the junk for pieces to a bike. I finally had built my own bike when I was 9. It was super cool. I used to ride it everywhere and jump over rocks and curbs.

Some people have these thengs coming natural. Other people have other strong traits. Both types of people are needed. As said, why not make something functional beautiful to watch? Esthetics are important but so is function. We don't need to add more crap on earth because simply beautiful stuff don't last as long and end up in the junk yard. We don't have much space left for junk.

[Kylo]

The male brain and female brain are structured differently with different sized neuron features and different amounts of grey/white matter. Although they don't understand the precise reasons and origin of it, men have a tendency toward spatial awareness and wanting to break something down into components to figure out how they work. They also have a tendency to be competitive which can drive someone to "master" a subject or an object to a level beyond basic recreation. If they didn't, there are a lot of inventions we'd be without.

[Raell]

My male mode is very mechanical, likes to invent things to solve problems. My female mode is more artistic, into wildlife photography, art.

Before I realized I was gender fluid, or bigender, I was puzzled by my obsession with old cars, tools, machines. It didn't make sense because I was usually out hiking or riding horses instead of using machines.

[rmaddy]

In that show I watched, they said some things are learned, but others innate.  So, it's a mix of nature vs nurture.  There have also been some cases of people have gender surgery as babies, for various medical reasons.  They tend to behave as though they were their original sex, not how they were raised.  One case that comes to mind was someone in Winnipeg, who was born male, but due to a botched circumcision was made into a girl.  She always felt she was in the wrong body and later on had GCS to become male again.  He eventually committed suicide.

Yes, but this has nothing whatsoever to say about a man (or woman) who enjoys a well-built machine.