Your birth name and what does it mean to you

[Saskia_F]

My birth name doesn't mean anything to me. I didn't come to terms with it from the get-go.

Honestly can't wait to get my name change and change of legal gender status done.

[jfong]

Mine goes both ways, so guess what.. I'm keeping it.

[RavenMoon]

My mom never picked out a boy's name. Lol. She was going to name me Penny. My brother picked out a name after I was born and to my mom's surprise I wasn't a girl! (Or was I? Lol)

There are feminine versions of my birth name, but I'm not using them.

I'll probably use Penelope when I change my name.


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[Lady Sarah]

People I knew always called me by just the last name I had, which I hated. For that reason, I changed first middle and last. I wanted no part of my former life. It was full of misery.
Now, people call me by my first name.

[Rachel]

Hi Denise, congratulations on the name change.

My old name did not fit and it hurts every time my ex-wife and daughter use it as well as my brother-in-law. I did not hate my last name, actually for a guy it is a great first, middle and last name. I love my new name and being gendered female, phone and in person.

Changing your name takes some time to automatically respond to others and always think as yourself in the new name. However, when the switch occurs, it feels wonderful.

I am Rachel and it fits me very well.

[RobynD]

I see my birth name as mixed. I didn't hate it and losing it will have some level of bittersweetness to it. Under that name i was a wonderful woman's husband, a father and a successful business person. People have called out that name in passion and in love. That name is tied to accomplishments in life and even awards.  In a sense i am still those things under my new name though. I don't see the old me and the new me as different people, just one person evolving.

That person needed a new and feminine name and thus, i became Robyn. I like my new name.

[Cheaney]

I feel similar to Robyn. I have never really liked my birth name. But the more I learn about my real self the more I appreciate what I've been able to accomplish as a male/birth name. But I have found that I love being called by female name and pronouns. Just makes me smile inside and I get bothered and frustrated when I get male name/pronouns. Probably why I've subconsciously preferred "Coach ......." because it's neither one.

Right now though I'm kinda without a name. Vicki is the name I first chose when I realized and first accepted being trans. I like the name but don't love it. My wife absolutely hates it because she has a family member that she is not fond of. And she has said she wants a say in a new name for me. So if it's going to help us in this transition then I'm all for it. I'll see what she suggests before making a decision.


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[Jenny94]

I never much liked my birth name, thought it was a bit lame, until a year or so ago, when I came to quite like it - "Joe", short simple to the point, nice guy, treats people right.  Then realising I was trans, at first I was like "Right, I need a new name, something ultra feminine, NOW" - hence Leila, which is the name I use online and I might start asking a few friends to use it soon. For now though, in real life, I'm just dropping the e from Joe. I sign off emails and notes with "Jo", I use it on facebook, but people are taking a while to cotton on, which is annoying. Funny how one extra letter, for that is now how I see it, can be so insulting.

[natalie.ashlyne]

For me my birth name is a little sentimental because my mom gave it to me and meant get from god. My mom passed away when I was 8 years old I dont have very much left from her so I choose the female version of my birth name. I remember asking my mom when I was 5 or 6 what she would have called me if I was a born a girl and I am pretty sure she said Natalie. 

[rose]

Everytime I heard my birth name my dysphoria increase I hate it
And I hate when people ask my name and when I say it's rose they reply ok , but what is your "real" name
They say that because my identity as girl for them is just role play or something unreal
I feel invalid as girl everytime someone use my birth name
What hurt me more is I cannot change my name legally to rose EVER since it's illegal to transition or to be trans
So I'm stuck with my birth name and force to hear it from everyone ( expect the people who accept my identity as trans girl which are very few in real life )
What My birth name mean to me is the pain everytime I hear it and the pain from the fact that I cannot correct it to rose

[steph2.0]

I see my birth name as mixed. I didn't hate it and losing it will have some level of bittersweetness to it. Under that name i was a wonderful woman's husband ... and a successful business person. That name is tied to accomplishments in life and even awards.  In a sense i am still those things under my new name though. I don't see the old me and the new me as different people, just one person evolving.

As with Vicki, my story is similar to Robyn's. I was going to write almost the same thing as above, with the edits I inserted. I too won some awards, and still retain a national championship in my favorite hobby. I have my own mildly successful business with a hard earned reputation for quality work, and I would like to continue to trade on that going forward. I've been in semi-retirement mode for a while, so I'm free to consider anyone who takes their business elsewhere because of my transition to be the loser in the transaction. I have a plan going forward that if necessary allows me to create income without actively soliciting business - sort of a cottage industry where I can happily work alone in the shop at my own pace and sell the final product when it's ready. No worries, it's all legal...

I ran a list of names past my wife, and gave her veto power, which left me with a short list that I liked, but wasn't particularly attached to. When I came out to my Mom and sister (just 5 days ago as of this writing) I asked my Mom if she'd had a girl name picked out for me when I was born. She couldn't remember, but we theorized that it would have been the name my sister ended up with 11 months later. So I'm just feminizing my given name (it should be pretty obvious). My sister and one of my best friends in school often called me Steph, so it was a no-brainer. I'll also be keeping my last name for the reasons above, and because I'm the last in my family line that has it.

I'm taking a little more freedom with my middle name. I started out with "Harmony," to symbolize the eventual alignment of my mind and body, and because of the music connection - more on that below - and I still like it a lot, so it may still end up as the final choice. But my wife suggested that I find something that matches my old middle initial, "R." Monogrammed luggage, email addresses and all that, ya know. I wanted something that flowed, and Stephanie and my last name are both three syllables with the emphasis on the first. I've been all over the baby name sites, and it's hard to find an "R" name with those attributes.

Then I ran across a word not on any name site, but seems to fit me. It has to do with music, which I love, both to listen to and to make - years in band in school, playing some guitar, and lately singing a lot (not professionally by any means, but with my repressed personality bursting out with my transition, I've found I have a pretty good singing voice. I hope I can retain that through my feminine voice training, but I digress). The musical term refers to exuberant joyfulness and improvisation. Well I'm certainly a lot happier now that I'm on my way, and I am making this up as I go. So why not? The word is "Rhapsody."

So Stephanie Rhapsody (DAH-da-da) could be who I am. The more I think about it the more I like it...

[StacyRenee]

For me, I have never liked my given name. It's quite long, and when all three names are said together it sounds like some sort of snobby British name. To shorten my first name was annoying because everyone would misspell it. Not to mention, it was ridiculously common.

Early on I chose a name that sounded similar to my given name, but only considered myself as a crossdresser. Once I made the realization that I was really truly transgender,  I wanted to distance myself as much as possible from both.

While considering names,  I wanted something fairly common, but didn't want a name of someone that I knew. Stacy fit perfectly.  Short, sounds like a nickname, typically feminine. But like others have mentioned,  could still be a male name (for those phone calls that I don't feel like explaining my life story). I really liked the name Renée also,  but couldn't come up with a middle name that I liked with it. So I settled with Renée as my middle name.

For my last name I decided to change that to my mother's maiden name to honor her. She was dying of cancer, and she was everything to me. She carried that name as her middle initial when she married both times. My parents divorced when I was quite young, and my father wasn't around very much. Nor have I ever been close with any of my father's family.

My new name,  and now legal name, is pleasantly shorter. It's cute and simple and sounds rather common. And as it turns out is rather symmetrical. All three names have 5 letters and two syllables.

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[Artesia]

My name means very little to me.  I especially hated my middle name.  When I finally get to the point of changing my name, I will not miss the one I am wearing now.  The good news is that, as a gamer, I am used to wearing new names all the time.

[Samanthajones]

I loved my old name, my father dreamt of it to name his child before i was born. Thats why i choose a name that had the first letter with that name.

[Julia1996]

I don't have a problem with my old name. People used to get it wrong all the time and make it female anyway. I guess because I was androgynous people used my name as a clue to my gender. My old name was Julian. My dad chose it. A lot of times when I would tell someone my name they would say " Julie Ann  Or Jillian "  Lol.  And Julia is so similar it was easy for people to get it right when I transitioned.
Julia

[JoanneB]

That whole "Dead Name" concept tends to send a cold chill up my spine. My past is a pretty big part of who I am today. Both the good and the bad. I am not full-time. If/When the time does come I have near zero expectations of never hearing "John" again. TBH-most times I never hear it to start with. It's been tuned out of the hearing loop since I was about 8 y/o when about every 3rd boy was named John. 

I do know very well the thrill of hearing and seeing Joanne, even when I am in male mode. Sometimes my wife will slip up in that direction too. I am sure halve the times she doesn't catch it since she does tend to correct herself when she does. I do have to confess to a tinge of hurt when when she does misname me in fem mode. Again she always instantly apologizes and corrects herself. The hurt is offset by her pretty much always referring to me/us as females.

[LizK]

I only ever hear it these days from my family or complete "random events" who have old outdated info on me. I don't use the word 'dead name" as I had no issue with my previous name other than it was so strongly male...then is no way to every feminise it, so I had to choose a new one. I have respect  for it. My father uses it the most...followed by my mother...no surprises there.

[Denise]

That whole "Dead Name" concept tends to send a cold chill up my spine. My past is a pretty big part of who I am today. Both the good and the bad. I am not full-time. If/When the time does come I have near zero expectations of never hearing "John" again. ...

I'm not a fan of "dead name" either but it's used a lot.  It's still my legal name (for another 46 days!) but being full-time since March it's meaning less and less to me.  I actually have stopped reacting to it when someone calls out "hey xxx".  It take a lot of effort but so do reacting to "Hey Dee".  Which happens and it takes me a minute to realize they're calling me.   It happened at a dinner party where my dad was trying to get my attention... I wonder how many times he tried before I realized he was talking to me.

I only ever hear it these days from my family or complete "random events" who have old outdated info on me. I don't use the word 'dead name" as I had no issue with my previous name other than it was so strongly male...then is no way to every feminise it, so I had to choose a new one. I have respect  for it. My father uses it the most...followed by my mother...no surprises there.

I know some people like their feminized male name.  That was not for me as my old name is easily feminized but I wanted a clean and clear break in other people's minds.  Besides I have a niece with that other name.  Denise starts with the same first letter so when I sign stuff, worse case is I start and realize what I'm doing and switch mid signature.

[Julia1996]

I have a little more understanding of family members who use a person's old name. When I first transitioned my dad had no problem using female pronouns from the start. But he would use my male name. He always corrected himself immediately but he still did it. I would get really really mad when he did it even though I knew he didn't do it on purpose. I told him it wasn't that hard to remember.  He told me it was harder than I realized. He told me that for the rest of the day he wasn't going to respond to me if I called him dad. He said I had to call him Jack. That is his name but I've never called him that of course. It was harder than I realized.  I've called him dad my whole life. It was very hard to remember to  call him Jack.

Now if someone uses your old name on purpose, well then they are just a dick.

Julia

[LizK]

I have always said, I have no issue with Muscle Memory( which is when people do it as part of an automatic learned response because they have known you all your life by that name) as Julia have described. My immediate family don't ever use my old name and very rarely muck up pronouns, because they made a commitment to each other to use my new name and pronouns every time they talked about me wether I was there or not. They all said it was much easier for them and they slip up very rarely if at all these days and always correct themselves.

Julia I agree with you if they do it deliberately or simply don't even try then they don't deserve my attention.