On life's bumpy road

[Laurie]

Hi Sarah,

  Rejection no matter what it is from always sucks. It's just a matter of degree, some things suck more than others. The trick is to take what you can learn from the rejection and use it to grow, to make yourself better from it. You say you think you know why.... change it. Be more positive! Sell yourself! Show then who you are and what you can do! Believe in yourself girl. You can do this.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Allison S]

I've been getting the same. Except I get the automated rejection emails that say they found a better fit.

I almost feel like giving up sometimes then I think "what do I have to lose?" The answer is always, nothing!



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[Faith]

My current job, the person doing doing the hiring at the time was a friend of mine. He took my resume, he did the interview, I got hired.

I did NOT get hired because of the interview nor the resume. I got hired because he knew me. Let me explain, he knew my qualifications. I did not 'sell' myself on paper nor in person, I really undersold myself and he knew it. He told me point blank that I did not stand up for myself or what I was capable of.

Don't be afraid to take credit for who you are or what you know, put it out there. If you feel you oversold yourself and you get a job, work harder to earn it. win-win

[Sarah_P]

Laurie, Dist, Faith, thanks. I'm not going to stop trying. Plus, I'm still hoping to hear back from another library I did a phone interview with (I haven't had any face-to-face interviews with anyone yet). I've got job alerts from a few different job sites coming to me every day, and usually end up applying for at least one of them. Law of averages says someone will want to hire me....

What sucks the most is that I HAVE a great job, but I have to leave this town (I also really really WANT to leave this town - seriously, it's horrible). There's also the problem of low pay & no health insurance, too....

[Laurie]

Hi Sarah,

  Question. Do you have or can you get a recommendation from your current job? Perhaps they know other companies elsewhere that are looking for people with your qualifications. Sometimes you can get help from you current employer. But only if you feel it is safe for you to do so.

Just an idea.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Sarah_P]

Hi Sarah,

  Question. Do you have or can you get a recommendation from your current job? Perhaps they know other companies elsewhere that are looking for people with your qualifications. Sometimes you can get help from you current employer. But only if you feel it is safe for you to do so.

Just an idea.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Yes, the library director is supportive and, even though she doesn't want me to go, is no doubt going to give me a great review (provided anyone calls, which I'm not sure anyone has). The assistant director is now a good friend and also one of my references. I'm sure either of them would point out any opportunities for me they come across.

And cancel that other library job, just got a rejection email for that, too.

[Roll]

Don't give up hope! My brother cycles jobs like nothing (he gets bored easily), and will always get hordes of rejections before finding the right position. So much of it is dependent on who is interviewing you too, because the very things that may not work with one person will be the very things that appeal to another.

Though I've seen people talking to the people who rejected them and just asking outright "what can I do to make myself a more attractive hire?". All it takes is one to reply with the right critique and you have an answer as to what you should work on that may very well land you a job down the road.

[Sarah_P]

Thanks Ellie. I'm trying to keep my hopes up, but it's hard, especially when you get rejected for a job that's basically the exact same job you're already doing but with less duties.

My brother cycles jobs like nothing (he gets bored easily), and will always get hordes of rejections before finding the right position.

There was a time when I was just like your brother, I once changed jobs 4 times in the same year.

[Sarah_P]

Well, as it turns out not getting that particular library job may have been fortunate after all. There are 2 more library jobs that I just got a notification for, and I'm even more qualified for them. Plus, they're more behind-the-scenes jobs than the other ones, so that might work out better for me right now.

Crossing my fingers!! Oh, and applying.... 

[Sarah_P]

OK, conundrum time. The absolutely perfect job came up recently, and I've applied for it. It's literally exactly what I've been doing (far more so than any others), but for way more pay & actual benefits (and an actual IT job title). I'd like to think I'm a shoe-in for this one, and I have this really good gut feeling about this one - my gut has rarely failed me (except by expanding....). The job offer doesn't close until 1/19, so I won't know anything for a while.

I just got a call today (went to voicemail, I'll have to call back tomorrow morning) from another job I applied for to set up an interview. What do I do? Go ahead and interview for it, possible getting it, then saying sorry if I get the better job?

These are the problems I WANT to have!   

Also, this one I got the call for is in Missouri (the better one is in Kansas - the fun of a city that straddles states), which begs the other question I've been considering. I know Missouri is far better for LGBTQIA+, but according to what I can find of the laws regarding gender marker change for driver's license, it requires a doctor's note saying you've undergone surgery (Kansas does not at this time). Can any Missourians here confirm/deny that? I know the same rule applies to birth certificates in MO, also (thankfully I was born there since Kansas made changing gender on those impossible).

So far 2018 is going rather well.... 

[Laurie]

Ainsley or Jessica Lynne are in Mo. you might try PMing them. As for your dilemma I have no help for you.

Hugs and good luck Sarah
  Laurie

[Jayne01]

Hi Sarah,
I just got caught up on your thread. I'm probably not the best person to give job interview advice. I have been in the same job for 25 years and have no interview experience since then.

If you have an interview, how long after the interview would you expect to hear if you are successful, and would there be 2nd and 3rd interviews? Time may be on your side to give both jobs a shot.

You have a good feeling about the better job, but it's not a certainty. So you may potentially be risking turning down a job only to be unsuccessful with the next one.

You have already applied for the better job, if you are the right person they are looking for, is there a chance they might want to interview you before the offer closes?

I probably haven't helped you much. It's a tough call. You will have to decide if it's worth the risk to hold out for the better job.

Beat of luck with your job hunting. I hope you get the job you want.

Jayne

[Sarah_P]

Hi Sarah,
I just got caught up on your thread. I'm probably not the best person to give job interview advice. I have been in the same job for 25 years and have no interview experience since then.

If you have an interview, how long after the interview would you expect to hear if you are successful, and would there be 2nd and 3rd interviews? Time may be on your side to give both jobs a shot.

You have a good feeling about the better job, but it's not a certainty. So you may potentially be risking turning down a job only to be unsuccessful with the next one.

You have already applied for the better job, if you are the right person they are looking for, is there a chance they might want to interview you before the offer closes?

I probably haven't helped you much. It's a tough call. You will have to decide if it's worth the risk to hold out for the better job.

Beat of luck with your job hunting. I hope you get the job you want.

Jayne

Thanks Jayne, that actually does help. Those are questions I hadn't asked myself. I've never had more than 1 interview for any job, but I've heard of places that do multiple interviews. I'd like to hope that maybe they'd like to interview me asap, but there's no telling. Since these jobs are library, they have to abide by city / state requirements for hiring, just like a government job.

[Faith]

do the interview. Don't tell them that your hoping for a different one to come through. If they interview and accept you, make sure your availability is after the other job might come through - the one that you really want.

prospective employers list people out. You may or may not be the first call back since others may have taken a different job. It happens here all the time. We've had people accept the job and never show up, show up for a day and leave. Do what's in your best interest, that's what employers do.

[Sarah_P]

do the interview. Don't tell them that your hoping for a different one to come through. If they interview and accept you, make sure your availability is after the other job might come through - the one that you really want.

prospective employers list people out. You may or may not be the first call back since others may have taken a different job. It happens here all the time. We've had people accept the job and never show up, show up for a day and leave. Do what's in your best interest, that's what employers do.

Cool, thanks Faith!

I've got an interview with the Missouri one next Tuesday. This will be my first face-to-face interview as Sarah, so I finally get to wear my 'interview outfit'. Which brings up another question - shoes. I have a pair of dress shoes, but being winter would boots be appropriate? I guess as long as I wear the dress shoes with socks they won't be too cold.
I also wish my slacks were 'tall', but they're not too short on me. I'm going to be up in KC on Saturday, and I'm going to hunt around for some tall size pants. I've got some on the way from Old Navy (which they only sell 'Tall' pants online apparently) but they won't be here until next Wednesday.    Alternatively, I could pick up a maxi skirt (which I've been wanting to do, anyway).

I'm pretty excited for this... and not just because it gives me a great excuse to clothes shop! Though shopping with a friend is always more fun. 

[Jayne01]

Best of luck with your interview. Remember to sell your self as best you can. Believe you are the right person for the job, the ONLY qualified person for the job. Show confidence, and make the interviewer believe that they have struck gold by you landing on their doorstep. You've got this!

[Sarah_P]

Geez, where to begin? So I had a 2 hour electrolysis session on Saturday. Hurt a lot worse this time, probably because I wasn't thinking and had a cup of tea with breakfast.  She did pronounce that I had no more dark hairs along my chin, though! Plenty of white ones still left.... apparently I'm prone to puffing up (does the P in my name stand for Puffin?!).

I had all sorts of plans for doing some shopping & looking at the general areas of apartments I'm interested in, but only got to drive down one area & just finished cleaning up to look marginally presentable in public when I got a text asking if I was coming to a friend's (son of the people I live with, husband of my lady friend) birthday dinner that night, which was further from KC than where I live, so 1-1/2 drive or so to get there. Plus, I had to stop by home first to change since the kids were going to be there.    So I cancelled any shopping I was going to do (which was probably for the best, since my skin was peeling from the electro), and made it on time (barely). My problem is NO ONE had mentioned that it was even happening to me. My friends thought the friends I live with had told me, but of course they hadn't. I believe it was simply not realizing I hadn't been told, or 'we thought THEY told you!'. Sigh.

I almost decided to skip out on the dinner, but they asked me if afterwards I would speak to a someone they knew who just came out as trans and needed someone to talk to about it. I had to go after I found that out. I did my best to explain what I could, and directed them here (due to various reasons I won't go into they simply cannot begin transition yet, or even see a therapist for several years without loosing their job). I just hope I was able to show that there was hope, and they weren't alone. I wish I hadn't been in male disguise, but they didn't bat an eye when I introduced myself as Sarah.

It was funny when at dinner, my lady friend needed me to watch her purse at one point, so I put it on my lap to keep it safe. One of the kids laughed and said 'You LADY!!'. I just smiled a big smile at him, which he looked confused by. 

Lady friend showed me what to do with makeup for my interview tomorrow, as well as my hair. I think I can give myself a blowout now (geez, that sounds dirty!). She also dyed my hair, since the dye we were using on my roots was a different color than what I'd used for the rest before (lighter & redder). Now it's mostly even.

I'm going to be studying & psyching myself up tonight for the interview! My friends approved of my outfit, and said it gave me a 'school librarian' look, which I'm happy with. Really sells it when I put my reading glasses on.

[Jayne01]

Hi Sarah,
I wish you the best for your interview tomorrow. Good luck!

Jayne

[Laurie]

I have my fingers crossed for you Sarah. Good luck in the interview. Be confident. Own it and sell yourself. You know you are good so show them you are the one they are looking for. You got this Girl.

Hugs,
  Laurie.

[Sarah_P]

Interview went very well! We chatted for a bit afterwards as they showed me more of the library (big city libraries are HUGE!!). They'll let me know in a week.
One problem with this job - it's only 20 hours/week, but has the possibility of having another 29 hours depending on need. If I don't get 40 hours, I'm not sure I can make enough to survive, much less save for GRS. So, crossing my fingers that I can get that salary job at the other library.

On the bad side, my necklace vanished! I know I had it on when I got out of my car, and I'm pretty sure it was on during the interview. I didn't even notice it missing until I was halfway home. I'll check my car in the morning, maybe it fell off in there. I really liked that necklace...