crisis

[jinst138]

where should i go to talk to someone online

[Devlyn]

Big hug! We're here if you need to talk. If youre overwhelmed please call one of the hotlines.

Hugs, Devlyn

[jinst138]

Thank you. I am on a phone without service and chat does not work on it

[Devlyn]

So what's going on?

[jinst138]

i am thinking of doing something to myself. i am not out. i have issues ive been thinking over for days.

[Devlyn]

Are you a cutter? You can tell us about your issues, most of us face the same demons.

Hugs, Devlyn

[jinst138]

I have not ever self harmed. Ive thought about cutting myself I think some times. Ive looked at knives in the kitchen and held them.

[Devlyn]

We understand that outlet. The end game is to love yourself and not try to harm yourself. There are ways of coping that won't leave permanent scars: Hold an ice cube, cayenne on the tongue, a snapfrom a rubber band on your wrist...

Hugs, Devlyn

[jinst138]

Thank you for that suggestion. I had a friend once that did this.  I never thought if this was what I needed to do. I am worried though if I might be suicidal.

[Devlyn]

Oh honey, this can make anyone feel that way. I'm relatively clean of dark thoughts, but they still come from time to time. We build success stories here, you're going to be one of them. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[jinst138]

Its hard for me to express or understand myself. Im very confused about how to place myself in the world. I know how I feel inside and what I want. Ive consumed myself in thoughts for the past week. Its been building up.

[Devlyn]

Yup, welcome aboard! 

Knowing who you are and what you want is almost all the uphill work. Everything else is just details and logistics.

So tell us, how DO you feel about yourself, if you're comfortable sharing that with us.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Kendra]

Hello Jamie!  Please don't feel alone - I also have and it turns out there's a huge number of us.  You, me, Devlyn, and thousands here on Susan's.

I can understand your concern in how to place yourself in the world.  Another way to think of this is - I started to realize I don't have to fit so well that I'd become invisible or boring. So I change just enough things to get around but don't try to fit perfectly.  By being different we are each changing the world just a little bit. 

I hope you can feel better.

[jinst138]

Thank you Kendra. You replied as I was typing this: Im not sure exactly how to piece together who I am actually or if I can be authenticly myself. I know in the case of gender I am female and Ive wanted to live that way since childhood. And I dont feel comfortable to divulge some other things with anyone. I feel my sense of self has weakened if that makes sense. I did come out to one friend and I told her I was transgender. She supported me but she died soon after.



As youve said Kendra I thought of accepting myself as different when I was a bit younger but I feared it then. And time kept going.

[Megan.]

Hi hun,  have a big hug from me X.
I can only repeat what Devlyn said,  many of us go through dark times (I certainly did),  but they really can get better.
We're here for you,  but working with professional services can be a great start to realising and becoming whoever or whatever you need to be to find happiness.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Megan.]

Figuring out who I was took me a long time (2 years!),  don't pressure yourself to figuring it all out at the start. Explore,  experiment and reflect,  in time some clarity will come. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[jinst138]

I am unsure where to begin or how to access proper professional services. Or have overlooked them. Its taken me many years in between understanding I was a female to understanding that I was a transgender female. In the past Ive desired transition and had discomfort with my body since childhood.

I have been going over in my head and through internet self diagnosis that I am not well developed mentally and have severe social anxieties. I have been a shut in and neglectful of my needs at times.

[jinst138]

Thank you for this support. It is comforting for now.

[Devlyn]

I was living like a hermit. I started presenting as myself and a prince of a man pulled me out from under the rock and made me face the bright sunlight.

For sure, we face a lot of common issues. And we're here to comfort you because someone was there to comfort us when we joined the site. What comes around goes around. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Laurie]

Hi Jamie,

  As Devlyn, Megan, and Kendra have said, you are not alone here. Nor are you alone with your problems. I am Just emerging from a dark spot myself. We all have out problems and our low points. We all need a helping hand even if that hand is a virtual one. Your best best though is to contact a crisis hotline or professional services for help. We help as we can to support others here online but sometime you need more personalized help.
  Telling us more about yourself and your desires might help. Sometime reaching out to another will help us get out of our own head and into a better place. It is hard to wallow in self when helping someone else.

Hugs,
  Laurie