Bari Jo's Corner

[Jessica]

Happy belated birthday! 

Wow!  A formal event!!  Just that alone can make you nervous.
You have declared yourself brazen and aren't really hiding anything. 
So be yourself!  Wear that dress you've been dying to wear
It's nice that you will be with friends that are at least aware, who will be there for you.
I think seeing people from the past can be one of the most nerve wrenching.
But if you go right up to them hold out your hand and introduce yourself as if you've never met.  Start a new relationship or refine the old.  Just be you!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

In October, I am attending a function at a private club.  I've been to this club a few times and have always been in a suit.  There is a dress code, must be formal or cocktail dresses, no denim.  I want to be considered femme to the point that people won't question at least that I'm trans.  I know I will be clocked, but want to have a good time too.  Oh, I'm attending with two old friends and their wives from high school.  They have not seen me dress, so nervous on that front too.  Ideas? Thanks

Bari Jo

@Bari Jo
That is such exciting news. 

I have a very formal and skimpy spaghetti strap little black dress that I have gone to formal events in and it is certainly an exciting and most feminine experience, but I was very, very nervous the first time that I was brave enough to wear it.... after the first time then it is actually quite enjoyable.
Accessories usually include a black patent or black satin clutch bag and matching high heels. 

When and if you feel comfortable doing it ... a picture would be great for all of your followers to see on your thread.

Thank you for your updates.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Roll]

In October, I am attending a function at a private club.  I've been to this club a few times and have always been in a suit.  There is a dress code, must be formal or cocktail dresses, no denim.  I want to be considered femme to the point that people won't question at least that I'm trans.  I know I will be clocked, but want to have a good time too.  Oh, I'm attending with two old friends and their wives from high school.  They have not seen me dress, so nervous on that front too.  Ideas?

Bari Jo

Go all out!!! It's really fun! When I dressed up for dinner and play when I was in NYC I had an absolute blast, didn't matter if people clocked me or not! I really need to wear more dresses.

[Bari Jo]

I've ordered a few outfits on ebay of all places.  I am going all out, and keeping with my cute jacket style. I'll post pictures from the event.  It's in Oct, so I have time to refine my look.

I wanted to post something a bit more serious today.  Being on Hrt is a blessing, but don't underestimate the ability to cry on it too.  Now granted, I did get some devastating news yesterday, but I do think the hrt has also allowed me to feel so much more love and sadness mixed together.  I've posted in the past about my Fanta.  Yesterday I got news that he may have cancer.  If this is the case, it's just prolonging his life and keeping him happy for a year, maybe a bit longer.

All through this I'm reminded of just how special and fragile life and love is.  Please make sure the people and especially the pets in your life know how much they mean to you every single day.  I've strived to give this person the absolute best life filled with love, toys, treats, kept him pretty as he was the most beautiful soul I've ever known.  He's repaid me so much more in his unconditional love, and helped me through so many of life's ups and downs.  I will make sure the remainder that I have with him is the absolute best, as he deserves it.




Bari Jo

[Roll]

Oh my god, I know how much you love him, I'm so sorry.

[Northern Star Girl]

I've ordered a few outfits on ebay of all places.  I am going all out, and keeping with my cute jacket style. I'll post pictures from the event.  It's in Oct, so I have time to refine my look.

I wanted to post something a bit more serious today.  Being on Hrt is a blessing, but don't underestimate the ability to cry on it too.  Now granted, I did get some devastating news yesterday, but I do think the hrt has also allowed me to feel so much more love and sadness mixed together.  I've posted in the past about my Fanta.  Yesterday I got news that he may have cancer.  If this is the case, it's just prolonging his life and keeping him happy for a year, maybe a bit longer.

All through this I'm reminded of just how special and fragile life and love is.  Please make sure the people and especially the pets in your life know how much they mean to you every single day.  I've strived to give this person the absolute best life filled with love, toys, treats, kept him pretty as he was the most beautiful soul I've ever known.  He's repaid me so much more in his unconditional love, and helped me through so many of life's ups and downs.  I will make sure the remainder that I have with him is the absolute best, as he deserves it.




Bari Jo

@Bari Jo
Dear Bari Jo:

OK, before I start to cry with you about your precious Fanta...  the pictures of Fanta are very cute and endearing by the way.... 

I want to be happy with you regarding your efforts to refine your look with new outfits.   Women love to shop for clothes... there are so many variations, colors and styles to choose from... not at all like the boring and much smaller men's clothing section in the department stores and in the online catalogs.   Lots of fun for sure, and as your body continues it's femininzation progress more cute styles and choices will be available to you.  Yes, be certain to post pictures when you feel comfortable doing so... all of your readers and followers would love to see you in your new outfits.

Aweee, this is such heartfelt and very sad news about your Fanta....  yes indeed, in the final time left be sure to pamper with toys and special treats.  By the way, this is the way that we need to relate with our friends and family also... we never know what the next day will bring, or even if there is a next day....  sobering thoughts for sure.

Thank you for posting and sharing.
Hugs,
Danielle

[JudiBlueEyes]

What a beautiful companion Fanta is.  Cherish the time you spend with him.

Judi

[Bari Jo]

The tests came back, he's stage 3 at least.

Bari Jo

[KathyLauren]

So sad to read about your beautiful friend Fanta.  He looks like such a sweet boy!  Enjoy the time you have left with him, and make good memories.

[Roll]

The tests came back, he's stage 3 at least.

Bari Jo

I'm so sorry, I can't even begin to tell you how much. I know he means the world to you. When I lost my cat that was special to me in the same way about 3 years ago, I was devastated. But I took solace in one thing: She had a damn good life and was loved unconditionally. Remember that no matter what happens, I'm sure the same can be said of Fanta. You have provided love to one of the most beautifully innocent of creatures on this earth, and nothing can take that away, and in the end... that's what we all deserve, human, dog, cat, or otherwise. Compassion and friendship, respect and love, loyalty and safety. The bond you have is pure and wonderful, and that is what truly matters.

[Bari Jo]

Fanta has now had his first round of chemotherapy.  We don't know for sure if it's stage 3 or 4.  We didn't do tests to confirm stage 4 only because the treatment doesn't change for either.  Apparently even with his enlarged lymph nodes, we caught this early.  When I heard that I burst into tears. Healing energies for my best friend.

Bari Jo

[Jessica]

Fanta has now had his first round of chemotherapy.  We don't know for sure if it's stage 3 or 4.  We didn't do tests to confirm stage 4 only because the treatment doesn't change for either.  Apparently even with his enlarged lymph nodes, we caught this early.  When I heard that I burst into tears. Healing energies for my best friend.

Bari Jo

I pray for Fanta, I know how close pets and their pack family can become.  And make no mistake, we are part of their pack, social rules and all.
Good luck with Fanta's treatments!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Jayne01]

Bari Jo, I am so sorry Fanta is sick. I'm sure he looks at you with as much love in his eyes as you to him. Cherish however much time he has left with you. He is very special.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Stevi]

Bari Jo,

So sorry to hear of Fanta's troubles.  Our four legged family members are precious to us.  I know first hand what you are going through.

I found this for you https://rftbk.github.io/files/trans/2014%20Saraswat%20et%20al:%20Biological%20Gender%20ID.pdf

It is, I think, the article you father is looking to.  Seems like it is a valid beginning point for understanding our plight.

Good luck with both of you family members,
Stevi

[LizK]

As a profound animal lover with and even bigger soft spot for dogs I am so sorry to hear your sad news. 

Its so sad to lose a close friend and I hope you are able to keep him comfortable for a good long time

All the best to you and Fanta both


Take care


Liz

[Bari Jo]

There's not a lot happening transition wise here.  I'm enjoying sparkly eyeshadow, that's about it.
I've gained a couple pounds stress eating and I hate it.  I've been making 16 lbs of jerky this weekend.  I like making jerky, and it's good diet food!

OH, I guess something new a girl from Susans found me on a social site.  I am not out on that site, but I'm choosing not to hide it either, so yes, I accepted her friend request and sent some others.

Fantas lymph nodes continue to get better.  At the last chemo treatment, the doctor said they feel normal.  Today he's not eating though, so whatever this medicine was he doesn't like it.  This is probably why they cycle the meds each week.

Bari Jo

[LizK]

Thanks for keeping us updated. Hope Fanta is feeling better soon and back on his food.


Liz

[MaryT]

Prayers for Fanta. 

I keep meaning to try jerky.  Jerky and the South African equivalent, biltong, are both sold in British supermarkets.  I used to eat biltong as a diet food but I eat it only occasionally now because I read that it can cause health problems apart from its high salt content.  I suppose that eating healthy food rich in fibre and vitamins probably reduces the risk.  I don't want to put you off jerky but in my case I think that I was eating too much biltong at one time.

[Bari Jo]

It has been a while since I posted.  I've been so caught up with one thing on my mind, my best friend Fanta.  He isn't out of the woods yet, but he's been home for a week after being in the Icu for five days.  He's still week, and barely eats.  The icu was so terribly expensive too.  Still though I wouldn't have traded this extra time I'm spending with him for anything.  My parents have been so good during this whole ordeal and my Mom is still with me and him.  Here's a picture of us all, yes my mom and sister got the good looks in the family.  I've been stress eating and hate my weight.  I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't hideous in our picture.



Ooh, Mary, I don't put any salt in my jerky recipes, you really don't need it:)

Bari Jo

[Roll]

Glad you are having this extra time with Fanta.

You are looking great as well, but then you always have and always will~