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Bari Jo's Corner

Started by Bari Jo, January 16, 2018, 10:04:51 AM

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MaryT

Your mom and sister do look fine and so do you.

Jerky without salt?  That's interesting.  The list of ingredients displayed on the last packet of biltong that I ate included so much salt that someone's eyes might explode just from reading it.

More prayers for Fanta.  You have given and are giving him the best possible life that he could have with anyone.
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Jayne01

Hi Bari Jo,

Thanks for your update. Fanta is a very lucky pooch to have you caring for him. I'm sure he feels the love you are giving him.

That is a great photo of your family. You all look very happy. You look a lot like your sister standing next to you. And your hair is really starting to grow nicely. Maybe time to update your profile pic! [emoji846]

Hugs,
Jayne



Quote from: Bari Jo on August 31, 2018, 07:09:37 PM
It has been a while since I posted.  I've been so caught up with one thing on my mind, my best friend Fanta.  He isn't out of the woods yet, but he's been home for a week after being in the Icu for five days.  He's still week, and barely eats.  The icu was so terribly expensive too.  Still though I wouldn't have traded this extra time I'm spending with him for anything.  My parents have been so good during this whole ordeal and my Mom is still with me and him.  Here's a picture of us all, yes my mom and sister got the good looks in the family.  I've been stress eating and hate my weight.  I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't hideous in our picture.



Ooh, Mary, I don't put any salt in my jerky recipes, you really don't need it:)

Bari Jo
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LizK

Quote from: Bari Jo on August 31, 2018, 07:09:37 PM
It has been a while since I posted.  I've been so caught up with one thing on my mind, my best friend Fanta.  He isn't out of the woods yet, but he's been home for a week after being in the Icu for five days.  He's still week, and barely eats.  The icu was so terribly expensive too.  Still though I wouldn't have traded this extra time I'm spending with him for anything.  My parents have been so good during this whole ordeal and my Mom is still with me and him.  Here's a picture of us all, yes my mom and sister got the good looks in the family.  I've been stress eating and hate my weight.  I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't hideous in our picture.


Ooh, Mary, I don't put any salt in my jerky recipes, you really don't need it:)

Bari Jo

Thanks for the update...what a great picture...not hard to see the family resemblances, you and your sister look so much a like...looks like a pretty happy bunch of people  :D

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Bari Jo

Today was a rite of passage mixed with a very good day.  It started with a very good night with my dog.  He slept well, making me sleep well.  Then onto breakfast out where I'm wearing a new lacy blouse, which is new for me, as I usually wear cute t-shirts.  Afterwards I went to my doctor and had more pellets put in.  My next appointment is in six months.  Yes, you read that right.  We've gotten to the point where that's how little maintainence I need.  I don't even take Spiro any more, yay.  Then afterwards the rite of passage.

I picked up my mom and we went to The Perfect Fit for my first bra.  The ladies were very nice, and tried hard to use the correct pronouns.  I learned I am not an A, I'm somewhere between an A and a B.  She called my size 36 B with a cookie meaning it had some padding.  I wore the bra out and will be buying more online.  My mom bought by first one.  We hugged and continued my day.

Next was for a seamstress to adjust a blouse and a jacket.  These are for two different options for a formal event.  With the bra, I actually fit them well.  One is black velvet with pink sequence, and the other is a blue and pink formal Chinese jacket.  I'm not sure which I will wear.  I do know I'm wearing some black suede boots adorned with stars and pearls on it though which I got at a rediculously low clearance.

After that lunch to celebrate, where I was gendered correctly with my mom to see.  I loved that.  After this, eyebrow threading, then extra makeup where the clerk told my mom I applied my makeup very well, when I was away.  My mom was really happy from this.

Tomorrow night is a haircut at the salon for the family reunion next week.  Oh, and my dog is having a fantastic day.  I am flying high.

Days like today and you think, life isn't hard.  Transitioning isn't even hard!

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

LizK

Wonderful...so nice to see you making such good progress. I am insanely jealous  ;) of the relationship you have with your Mum that is just so good.

First bra...it never gets old does it  ;D

Nice to see you having such a good time as its been rough for you in places.

Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Jessica

I so happy and jealous too!
Such a wonderful mom and daughter day!
Everything is looking up and Fanta too!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Sonja

Quote from: Bari Jo on September 12, 2018, 08:25:21 PM
black suede boots adorned with stars and pearls on it though which I got at a rediculously low clearance.

Days like today and you think, life isn't hard.  Transitioning isn't even hard!

Bari Jo
@Bari Jo - Beautiful clothing at a beautiful price - I Love getting great stuff on sale!!

What a fantastic day you had!!! and  so special when someone you know buys something for you like that - Good for you!

my wife just bought me 3 dresses for my birthday for the following weekend! -- I'm on cloud9!

Take care,

Sonja.
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Jayne01

Bari Jo, such a wonderful update. So happy you had this great day, shopping for your first bra with your mum, makeup, eyebrows, lunch, Fanta is having a good day. It is certainly a day lift you into the clouds.

Hugs,
Jayne
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Roll

Omg, that all sounds amazing! So glad everything went so well girl, you deserve it, you truly, truly do!!
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

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MaryT

I'm glad that you had a good day and I hope that you have loads more.
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steph2.0

Wow, what a wonderful day, Bari Jo. I love it when everything comes together!

And such good news about Fanta! I just had a scare with my Maggie that turned out fine in the end, too.

You're on your way!!

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Allison S

I wanna hear about more days like the one you had Bari Jo. Gives me something to look forward to..[emoji4]

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

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Bari Jo

I hope to have more days like that in the future.  My Fanta passed today.  Needless to say this is the darkest day of my life.  I have tremendous sadness, shame and grief attached to this.  I waited for the right time, which there is no right time.  I feel like the worst Mommy.

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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KathyLauren

Bari Jo, I am so sorry.  I know that Fanta was a family member to you.  It hurts so much to lose one of them.  My thoughts go out to you.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Laurie

Quote from: Bari Jo on September 16, 2018, 07:16:21 PM
I hope to have more days like that in the future.  My Fanta passed today.  Needless to say this is the darkest day of my life.  I have tremendous sadness, shame and grief attached to this.  I waited for the right time, which there is no right time.  I feel like the worst Mommy.

Bari Jo

Hi Bari Jo,

  I am so sad and sorry to hear about Fanta's passing. I know he meant the world to you and you must be grieving his loss. By what you went on to say I am assuming that you took him be be euthanized. You feel awful for doing it. But Bari, it was possibly the most humane thing you could do for him. Remember he no longer suffers, is no longer in pain. You aren't a bad mommy, you are a loving mommy because you didn't want to see him continue to suffer any longer when nothing else could be done. Fanta is at peace. Fanta would also want you to be at peace with this hard decision you had to make.
  Be at peace Bari Jo.

Hugs,
  Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Jessica

I'm so sad about Fanta.  Unconditional love is hard to find and Fanta's was no less.  Find happiness in his memories as you feel the pain that is hard to live with.

Big hugs, Jess

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Roll

Quote from: Bari Jo on September 16, 2018, 07:16:21 PM
I hope to have more days like that in the future.  My Fanta passed today.  Needless to say this is the darkest day of my life.  I have tremendous sadness, shame and grief attached to this.  I waited for the right time, which there is no right time.  I feel like the worst Mommy.

Bari Jo

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry. You are an amazing mommy. You gave Fanta complete love, and that is what matters. Never doubt you were a godsend in Fanta's life just as he was in yours. You're in my thoughts tonight Bari Jo, I love you girl.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  
    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

steph2.0

Oh Bari Jo, I'm so sorry. Not so much for Fanta, as he's in a better place and no longer in pain, but for his loving mommy. Do not think that you were a bad mommy. You gave him all your love, and no companion could ask for more.

Spend the time you need to mourn his loss, then remember all the good times you had together. And remember to take good care of yourself.

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Another Nikki

Another message of condolences for your loss Bari Jo   :(
"What you know, you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life—that there is something wrong. You don't know what it is, but it's there like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me."
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LizK

Quote from: Bari Jo on September 16, 2018, 07:16:21 PM
I hope to have more days like that in the future.  My Fanta passed today.  Needless to say this is the darkest day of my life.  I have tremendous sadness, shame and grief attached to this.  I waited for the right time, which there is no right time.  I feel like the worst Mommy.

Bari Jo

Hi Bari Jo

I am so sorry for your loss from one animal love to another....the loss of such a dear friend can be so difficult to take , I hope you can find some solace in the heart felt feelings of everyone here. Sending you a big aussie virtual hug and know we understand.

Tale care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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