An Aussie Girls GCS Story

[Moonflower]

Terrible night last night up and down half the night. I suspect much of it had to do with the phone call to my older brother. He was really supportive of me and what I am doing and asked pertinent and reasonable questions.

What a relief! So many wonderful coming out stories here at Susan's of people responding in surprising AND marvelous ways.
Thanks, Liz, for contributing to people's hopeful expectations.

talked fairly extensively about my upcoming surgery and the inevitable conversation about my other brother was had.  Suffice to say that things are worse than I thought with my parents and him..so be it! The ball is in their court.

I think it's so essential for people to recognize that how others respond says more about the other people than anything else. Brava for you! I hope it is easy for you to hold onto that belief, and refuse to be judged by people who don't share your values.

Its weird to be thinking about this surgery in terms of "next week" or a "few days". I don't think it will fully hit me until I am walking out the door to catch my plane Monday week...it is such a momentous occasion for me and still does not seem real in many ways ATM. I am now having these moments of acute nervousness/excitement when I think about my surgery and as the reality of it grows.
I've been loving feeling the contagiousness of your consistent enthusiasm. My heart speeds up as I put myself in your shoes. Or sandals. I love seeing the reality growing you.

I keep thinking I am missing something LOL not very rational I know but I have been off HRT for over 3 weeks and I feel, in general, lousy...if it wasn't for this upcoming surgery keeping me on track it would be easy to let the physical discomfort get the better of me. These are such familiar feelings and I hate them, these are what drove me to seek help in the first place. The physical change stuff kicks off my GD and then I have to deal with that, which I am more than equipped to do but it still makes for an unnecessary crappy time...enough of that as I could go on and on and on.....

What a marvelous perspective! Fantastic that your anticipation can distract you from the unpleasantries of being off HRT. How nice that being off HRT happens to reinforce your clarity that the upcoming surgery is right.

Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive...

:cheering: with you!

[Moonflower]

Two thing happened this afternoon of interest. The first being I got a call from an old work colleague I knew when I was nursing. She is a nurse trainer and is putting together the subject materiels for the courses she teaches...could I help out on an ongoing basis with my knowledge of Trans stuff? We talked generally for about 2 hours touching on all sorts of stuff.

Very cool!

She has aked me to write my upcomming         experiences of being nursed as a trans patient and she will contact me after xmass to do a podcast interview with me as part of this, along with written questions she wants me to answer.

Double cool!

I received the enivetable TXT from my Father wanting to Skype...how coincidental that I spoke to my older brother the other day. I have not responded to him and I don't want to respond to him. I was just going to ignore it like it never happened. I don't want to be going into surgery feeling upset and cosumed with anger for them. I do not want to spend any more time on this but I just can't ignore it as it won't just go away....for the moment I am going to ignore it.

Sounds like a wise choice to me. Choose your battles? Rank your priorities? Save your energy?

[LizK]

....Sounds like a wise choice to me. Choose your battles? Rank your priorities? Save your energy?

You got it perfectly...Picking my battles and saving my energy is where I am at the moment. thanks for you support I appreciate it


take care

Liz

[HappyMoni]

The focus is what is right for you right now. Don't let any crap get in your way. Hey, this is a wonderful, happy moment for you. You only get one like this, enjoy the hell out of it. Hugs!
Moni

[Cindy]

Don't tell Liz but I intend catching up with her tomorrow and will give her a good kicking hug from everyone.

[Northern Star Girl]

Don't tell Liz but I intend catching up with her tomorrow and will give her a good kicking hug from everyone.

@Cindy

Please be certain to include me in "everyone" when you give Liz a "good hug"

Danielle

[Jessica]

@Cindy

Don't tell Liz but I intend catching up with her tomorrow and will give her a good kicking hug from everyone.

Give her two from me.  She deserves it!

[LizK]

5 Days

Had a lousy night last night and was up at 4am again this morning. Prior to that I had been up and down on the hour all night...My hip was the main driver and has left me pretty Tired


Call from Knox hospital to remind me that I have a $500 excess due for payment on Monday when I arrive(Thanks for that  ). I told her no problem. The interaction was less than a minute...About an hour later as I am pushing the lawn mower around the back lawn after using the trimmer to trim the edges etc my phone goes and its the Anaesthetist from Knox wanting to chat to me about Tuesday. He was a nice guy and we went through all the standard stuff plus my medication pump and he will speak to me again on Tuesday when he knocks me out. The anaesthetist seems to think he may have some compliance issues with the nursing staff over the levels of pain medication I may require. I am not overly worried about the ICU at this stage as I am supposed to see the pain management Dr on Monday afternoon and we will work out any potential issues at that point. 


I didn't cave into my Father's request for a skype but I didn't say no either. I told him I was pretty busy for the next "little while" and I would get back to him...this takes the immeadiate pressure off me and I now have time to think about what my final response will be. I have not quantified the time line so if he really does know about my surgery he will make a concerted effort to get to me before Monday. We will see... I don't know if that's being a coward but I have other things to deal with at the moment.


As I said earlier I mowed the lawns and cleaned up the outside of the house for the last time in a long time. They look really good now and I managed to only wrench my hip twice...so that was a bonus 


This GCS is really beginning to feel very real and despite being distracted, tired and irritable I am still enjoying this run up to my surgery and trying to adjust my brain to the idea that I will be missing that nasty little appendage by this time next week and will have gained my self a cute new vagina ...I should stop moaning and be greatful...at least I got my pants on the right way today LOL always a bonus.


Okay so made it through another uneventful day...Tomorrow is pick up the antibiotics and bowel prep final walk and weigh in, seriously consider how I am going to get 50kgs into 23kgs..Hmmmm will have to think about that one.


Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy.....   

Look out Melbourne

Take care

Liz

[Kendra]

Liz!  You're almost there.  Wish I could be there with you, definitely thinking of you and excited for you.  You have prepared so well for v-day.  I hope you can get more rest.  And relax! 

[LizK]

The focus is what is right for you right now. Don't let any crap get in your way. Hey, this is a wonderful, happy moment for you. You only get one like this, enjoy the hell out of it. Hugs!
Moni

Moni
You make a really good point...I will only get to do this once and I should enjoy it. I am starting to now as I realise now that everything that can be organised is organised, everything is paid for, I am hovering around my goal weight and that will not be an issue. Many many different things have all had to align in order for me to have this surgery and as far as I can tell they have done just that...aligned so enjoy it I will. I am not going to let anyone rain on my parade !!

Don't tell Liz but I intend catching up with her tomorrow and will give her a good kicking hug from everyone.

I sooner the Hug  LOL you are of course welcome anytime.

@Cindy

Please be certain to include me in "everyone" when you give Liz a "good hug"

Danielle

Thank you Danielle I really appreciate you well thought out thoughtful replies to me. Thank you for the Hug

@Cindy

Give her two from me.  She deserves it!

Oh Jessica how are you? I hope things went well with your voice. I am sorry I have been a little distracted these last few days.  Thank you for the hug I always appreciate your timely advice as well. Thank you for the hugs

Liz!  You're almost there.  Wish I could be there with you, definitely thinking of you and excited for you.  You have prepared so well for v-day.  I hope you can get more rest.  And relax! 

Thanks Kendra I really appreciate you stopping by. The excitement levels are rising and there is a deep feeling of satisfaction knowing its all completely on track. It is so close know I keep getting little shivers just thinking about it

Thanks to each and every one of you for being part of my support network through to this surgery and beyond.

Take care

Liz

[Moonflower]

I didn't cave into my Father's request for a skype... I don't know if that's being a coward but I have other things to deal with at the moment.

Not a coward. Prioritizing! Save your energy. You'll connect with him later.

Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy.....   

Marvelous! Let it happen!

[Jessica]

Hi Liz, I'm doing pretty good, I'm on my forth day of silence with only one mistake saying good morning to my son.  No pain at all.  Had a couple of giggles come out after reading @Steph2.0 thread, I need to read more banal material or the political news here, but then I would want to scream, so nix that idea.....

The clock is winding down for you girl!
Remember to feel good, feel healthy, feel positive and embrace the ditz!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi Liz, I'm doing pretty good, I'm on my forth day of silence with only one mistake saying good morning to my son.  No pain at all.  Had a couple of giggles come out after reading @Steph2.0 thread, I need to read more banal material or the political news here, but then I would want to scream, so nix that idea.....

The clock is winding down for you girl!
Remember to feel good, feel healthy, feel positive and embrace the ditz!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
I am so very glad that your recovery is going well for you.
Yes, it would be difficult for me to "remember" to be quiet... I hope that the inadvertant greeting of "hello" too your son was not painful or caused any issues with your recovery.   I love to talk as is evident from my plethoa of posting on the forums so I would have to have my mouth taped up with Duct Tape to keep me quiet.
Hugs and wishing you a speedy recovery.
Danielle

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
@LizK
Dear Liz:
Ditto to Jess's remarks that she made to you... 

The clock is winding down for you girl!
Remember to feel good, feel healthy, feel positive and embrace the ditz!

All of your followers are eagerly following this important part of your "journey" ...
please, as you feel so led, keep us all updated as you have time.   Pictures might be nice too !!!

Many hugs for YOU and as always I am wishing you well,
Danielle

[LizK]

Just a quick update and I will respond to the posts a bit later.

Feeling really nostalgic...it was over 2 years ago when I first started my walks...I was 115 kgs took me nearly an hour to do 3ks...it now takes about 40 mins to do 5ks...and I am about 90kgs.

I spent many hours thinking and visualising this mornings final walk before my surgery. It feels really weird to know that this is it...I am as prepared as I can be

Thankyou Jess and Danielle for you kind words of support. I will respond in more detail later this morning or today

EDIT: Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy.....   (for Danielle )

Take care

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Northern Star Girl]

Just a quick update and I will respond to the posts a bit later.

Feeling really nostalgic...it was over 2 years ago when I first started my walks...I was 115 kgs took me nearly an hour to do 3ks...it now takes about 40 mins to do 5ks...and I am about 90kgs.

I spent many hours thinking and visualising this mornings final walk before my surgery. It feels really weird to know that this is it...I am as prepared as I can be

Thankyou Jess and Danielle for you kind words of support. I will respond in more detail later this morning or today

Take care
Liz

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

@liz K
Dear Liz:
As you are busy today doing what you must do...
....please remember to adhere to your self described personal mantra...
 
    "Feel good, feel healthy, feel positive and embrace the ditz!"

I will be reminding you of this frequently when I reply to your posts!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

[LizK]

@liz K
Dear Liz:
As you are busy today doing what you must do...
....please remember to adhere to your self described personal mantra...
 
    "Feel good, feel healthy, feel positive and embrace the ditz!"

I will be reminding you of this frequently when I reply to your posts!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

Hi Danielle you will have to forgive me as that post was 6am this morning and my brain was not fully engaged. I have edited my post to reflect my positive thoughts...thanks for the reminder

Take care

Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy..... 

Liz

[LizK]

Hi Liz, I'm doing pretty good, I'm on my forth day of silence with only one mistake saying good morning to my son.  No pain at all.  Had a couple of giggles come out after reading @Steph2.0 thread, I need to read more banal material or the political news here, but then I would want to scream, so nix that idea.....

The clock is winding down for you girl!
Remember to feel good, feel healthy, feel positive and embrace the ditz!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Hi Jessica

I am so glad you are on the mend...1 slip up is not so bad and it sounds like you haven't done any damage so all is good. How much longer do you need to be silent? I have my voice surgery on the 1st of February and have to be quiet for 3 days and I am not looking forward to that part but like all of these surgeries its not the recovery I am looking forward too but the end result. I understand yours was not one of those surgeries but more a medical issue.

Yes you are right its all very soon...my excitement is rising incrementally as the day gets closer  and I remain

Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy.....   

Take care

[LizK]

4 Days

Slightly better sleep last night up once and then back to bed. I woke au at 4:30 freezing cold sitting on the side of the bed...been sleepwalking again. Probably just went to the Kitchen and back but as usual I don't get back into bed  but tend to just sit on the side. This is usually when I have been woken by hip pain...this is something the hospitals need to be aware of. I am not sure if it qualifies as proper sleep walking but it is not something I have any control over. It would happen a couple of times a week...Meryl says that I quite often will swing my feet onto the floor and never go any further anyway we will see.

Finished off the last of my shopping today and have yet to pick up my scripts which I will do tomorrow. Apart from that I have only to pack.

Last walk this morning and I completed it in the 45 Minutes, 5ks average pace of about 9 minute KM. As I began the final stretch directly towards my finish point and one of my all timer favourite songs began to play...one that I have used to motivate me for a long time so it was very fitting.

These lyrics in particular

"This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me"



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eSY8o3oEOY&feature=youtu.be

I was really quite emotional as I finished, realising that after all these months and I actually started this back in early 2016 and lost down to about 92 kgs. Then this whole blow up with my family occurred and I put on all the weight I had lost plus more due to the stress I was feeling. I ended up back in June of this year at the official start weight of 106.3 Kgs and a BMI of 35.6 I finished this morning at 89.5 Kgs and a BMI of 29.6. Here are some of the area's I have lost cm's as well as weight

Weight   16.5   KG Loss
Butt         2.5   cm Loss
waist           17.0   cm Loss
neck             5.5   cm Loss

I will resume walking as soon as Andy says I am able, as I want to keep my weight/fitness under control for my upcoming hip replacement... Where's Laurie (to put Cindy on the fridge) when we need her!!

All in all I am really satisfied with my prep for surgery and as you have heard me say before...

Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy.....   

Take care

Liz

[Jessica]

Hi Jessica

I am so glad you are on the mend...1 slip up is not so bad and it sounds like you haven't done any damage so all is good. How much longer do you need to be silent? I have my voice surgery on the 1st of February and have to be quiet for 3 days and I am not looking forward to that part but like all of these surgeries its not the recovery I am looking forward too but the end result. I understand yours was not one of those surgeries but more a medical issue.

Yes you are right its all very soon...my excitement is rising incrementally as the day gets closer  and I remain

Feeling Good, Feeling Healthy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Ditzy.....   

Take care

I was told not to talk for 5 days and the following weeks only guarded minimal speech.  The small blurts I've made have not caused a bit of discomfort.  Keep in mind though, this was not voice surgery, but a removal of what they think is HyperKeratosis.  No stitches involved.  Coughing has been my biggest issue, but still no discomfort even from that.

Btw....do you track your mileage when you sleepwalk.  That should count on your totals.  Lol

Tick, tick, tick......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[LizK]

Btw....do you track your mileage when you sleepwalk.  That should count on your totals.  Lol

Tick, tick, tick......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

I think its only fair that I should

Great to hear you are on the mend


Liz