What do you say 2 people who do not understand why YOU would want to transition?

[Michelle_P]

There is a category of folks who do want to be polite, but really have trouble accepting our reality.  Many insist on believing that "Transgender" means a man pretending to be a woman, and insisting that all go along with their little game.  This is naturally incredibly frustrating.

I do occasionally point them to information correcting their misconceptions, but I am weary of having to bare my sould to others on demand.  That really isn't our task.  We can encourage others to look at sources of information and educate themselves, but exposing ourselves to potentially damaging situations is definitely NOT something we are obligated to do.

https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/how-can-i-learn-if-you-wont-teach-me.html

Our responsibility is first to ourselves to heal and grow in a healthy manner, and second to support those closest to us as we travel our personal path through life together.

[Ryuichi13]

I haven't read any other responses, since I want to give an honest answer.

I transitioned because I was miserable with who I was pretending to be.  As an AFAB, I was born with a severe birth defect, and now I'm doing something to fix it.  I should have been born male, being called a tomboy my entire life by my family wasn't enough, I needed to be male in order to finally feel happy with my body, and myself. 

One of my biggest fears is dying and being buried as the wrong gender, forever thought of as female.  Not happening now, especially since I'm recognized by the US Federal Government as being male.  YAY! 

How I explain it to cis people is, "imagine one day, you wake up in the body of someone of the opposite gender.  You know you're X gender, but everyone calls you by the wrong name, and the wrong pronouns.  Your social roles change, you're treated differently than you feel you should be, and everything is just wrong.  What would you do in that situation?" 

I actually had a cis woman tell me "you need Jesus."  I'm Pagan and Proud, thankyouverymuch!  [emoji14]

Forever feeling "like you were born in the wrong body" is just not something that I feel that most people can ever understand.  Its a craptastic feeling, IMVHO, the worst in the world!  Feeling suicidal for being born the wrong gender sucks.

Even though it took me way too long to find out I can transition and become the gender I should have been born as, it thrills me to pieces that I can fix this severe birth defect!

Ryuichi

P.S.  OOPS!  Looks like I'm in the wrong discussion section again!  But the FTM section is pretty quiet these days, so I hope you ladies don't mind me hanging out here every now and then.

Either way, sorry not sorry that my answer to the OP still remains the same.

Ryu

[ChrissyRyan]

I haven't read any other responses, since I want to give an honest answer.

I transitioned because I was miserable with who I was pretending to be.  As an AFAB, I was born with a severe birth defect, and now I'm doing something to fix it.  I should have been born male, being called a tomboy my entire life by my family wasn't enough, I needed to be male in order to finally feel happy with my body, and myself. 

One of my biggest fears is dying and being buried as the wrong gender, forever thought of as female.  Not happening now, especially since I'm recognized by the US Federal Government as being male.  YAY! 

How I explain it to cis people is, "imagine one day, you wake up in the body of someone of the opposite gender.  You know you're X gender, but everyone calls you by the wrong name, and the wrong pronouns.  Your social roles change, you're treated differently than you feel you should be, and everything is just wrong.  What would you do in that situation?" 

I actually had a cis woman tell me "you need Jesus."  I'm Pagan and Proud, thankyouverymuch!  [emoji14]

Forever feeling "like you were born in the wrong body" is just not something that I feel that most people can ever understand.  Its a craptastic feeling, IMVHO, the worst in the world!  Feeling suicidal for being born the wrong gender sucks.

Even though it took me way too long to find out I can transition and become the gender I should have been born as, it thrills me to pieces that I can fix this severe birth defect!

Ryuichi

P.S.  OOPS!  Looks like I'm in the wrong discussion section again!  But the FTM section is pretty quiet these days, so I hope you ladies don't mind me hanging out here every now and then.

Either way, sorry not sorry that my answer to the OP still remains the same.

Ryu

Ryuichi,


I welcome you here anytime!   

Chrissy

[Linde]

P.S.  OOPS!  Looks like I'm in the wrong discussion section again!  But the FTM section is pretty quiet these days, so I hope you ladies don't mind me hanging out here every now and then.

Either way, sorry not sorry that my answer to the OP still remains the same.

Ryu

We are always ready and happy to sit around the fire and do that cumbaya thing! (as long as you bring the ingredients for s'mores!)

[Michelle_P]

They don't understands why?

transitioning typically results in "improved quality of life, greater relationship satisfaction, higher self-esteem and confidence, and reductions in anxiety, depression, suicidality, and substance use."

Just read that, OK?  Just read it.  That's why.

[Katie]

Having gone through the process I learned that as the song goes My give a dam is busted. I just decided to do my own thing and forget what the rest felt.......

[Ryuichi13]

Having gone through the process I learned that as the song goes My give a dam is busted. I just decided to do my own thing and forget what the rest felt.......

Sounds about right! 

But there are those that ask still, so my previous post *points up* explains what I tell them when they ask.

Ryuichi

[ChrissyRyan]

I have learned to say, very nicely, that I am doing this because transitioning helps me to be myself.  I also say that it is not easy to transition.   

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

I have learned to say, very nicely, that I am doing this because transitioning helps me to be myself.  I also say that it is not easy to transition.   

Chrissy

I do think it is best to simply smile and be friendly with responses but I will not definitively answer "insensitive" questions or matters that are none of anyone's business.  Nor do I expect anyone to all the sudden to become supportive because of what I say to them.  I do hope that they would believe that I think that my life is better overall after me accepting who I am but if they do not, so be it.  There are some things that are simply out of your control. 

Wouldn't be nice to live your life as if you have always been a cis-woman in your community? 
We'd have the same good and bad issues as cis-women have to deal with, but not the tough trans-related ones.

Hugs,

Chrissy

[Allie Jayne]

My wife asked me why I wanted to be a woman, and I told her it wasn't a matter of 'wanting'. I want to be normal, (well, young and rich would be nice also), but that was denied to me, so I have to deal with who I actually am. So many people believe this is a life we choose, and so question our judgement. It took my wife a while to see that accepting and managing my transgenderism was a necessity for my physical and mental health.

I would invest time in explaining my situation to loved ones, close friends, and co workers, but I would simply and nicely  advise casual acquaintances to google it!

Allie