What do you say 2 people who do not understand why YOU would want to transition?

[ChrissyRyan]

Overall, many good thoughts...
 

Thank you for sharing out.

[Iztaccihuatl]

Well in computer programming 42 is represented by the character '*' and the '*' represents the wild card or what ever the user would like the '*' to be.  This is why 'Deep Thought' gave the answer of 42.  This leaves the symbolic meaning of 42 as the answer to life, the universe and everything, is anything the user would like it to be.

Only in ASCII encoding. In EBCDIC an asterisk is 92. Now, EBCDIC was an IBM invention and IBM also produced a chess computer named Deep Thought. Not sure what to make of these facts...

[Lori Dee]

Only in ASCII encoding. In EBCDIC an asterisk is 92. Now, EBCDIC was an IBM invention and IBM also produced a chess computer named Deep Thought. Not sure what to make of these facts...

Facts can be stranger than fiction.

In numerology, 42 = 6 (4+2)

6 represents home and family. Is this the secret?

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

Iztaccihuatl:

Only in ASCII encoding. In EBCDIC an asterisk is 92. Now, EBCDIC was an IBM invention and IBM also produced a chess computer named Deep Thought. Not sure what to make of these facts...

Very interesting never dealt with coding EBCDIC while at university.  Although I knew about EBCDIC and Deep Thought.

Lori:

Facts can be stranger than fiction.

In numerology, 42 = 6 (4+2)

6 represents home and family. Is this the secret?

42 = 6 (4+2)
42 = 6 (6)
42 ≠ 36

No wonder why I do not believe in Numerology.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@Lori Dee
@Iztaccihuatl

[Lori Dee]

42 = 6 (4+2)
42 = 6 (6)
42 ≠ 36

You misunderstood.

42 = (4+2) = 6

In numerology, you reduce multi-digit numbers to a single digit through the process of "casting nines". That means repeatedly subtracting nine until you have a single-digit result. The fastest and easiest way to do that is to add the digits together.
 

[D'Amalie]

Hi Everyone

A. Because I want to.  Better still what is the answer to life the universe and everything?  When you know the answer to this question then you will know why I want to do this.  I was very young when I first had the thoughts of wanting to be a girl.

These numbered items are so, to some dgree or other.  Yet for me,  I never had, "the thoughts of wanting to be a girl."  I was one.  Just that others insisted I couldn't present as one.

[D'Amalie]

Hi Everyone

Unfortunately I would not really know how to answer any of those questions.  Simply for the fact I have never been asked those questions and the reason being, I have never told anyone about myself.  Some family have asked me questions but nothing like the ones listed.  When I was telling them my story, I was obviously answering their questions before they had a chance to.

Fit in?  Authentic Self?  Choice?  Well I certainly did it to fit into the group that I belonged to and that was the binary world of male and female. When I did, I just remained being myself or authentic self, I did not change who I was.  Choice, one would say that one does not have a choice in this matter and technically they would be correct.  Nature or the environment stuffed up and there's nothing one can do about it.  If there was I would still remain a female regardless. 

However, I never knew at the time that I changed my life around that nature or the environment (mum taking pills). That this was the case.  So when I did change, I chose to be a female, I wanted to be a female and I longed to be a female.  So at the time I chose to be who I wanted to be, it was my choice and I have never regretted it.

So I'm being who I want to be.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

Much more to the point!  Reflections of us.

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

For me, it was not until I was 51 (19 years post op) that I realised that I was always female.  I never questioned my gender, even in childhood.  Although I have lived my life as a female ever since I changed my life around 35 years ago.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@D'Amalie

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

Much more to the point!  Reflections of us.

When I was answering those questions, I was being satirical.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@D'Amalie

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

Lori you said:

You misunderstood.

42 = (4+2) = 6

In numerology, you reduce multi-digit numbers to a single digit through the process of "casting nines". That means repeatedly subtracting nine until you have a single-digit result. The fastest and easiest way to do that is to add the digits together.

What I have highlighted in red is wrong, let me show you why

42 = (4x10 + 2)
42 = (40 + 2) 
42 = 42
QED 

The 4 represents 4 lots of 10 in the number 42.  I'm just a mathematican  

Yes, Lori I'm aware of reducing the numbers by adding the digits, my mum was into all of this stuff.  Reading tea leaves, telling fortunes with tarot cards and along the way there was some numerology, which I briefly looked at.  Mum never (her children) read our fortunes.  Curious that.

I do love the number 42 and I make a note of it every time I see it anywhere.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
PS  QED = Quod Erat Demonstrandum (Latin what had to be proved or what was to be demonstrated)

[Lori Dee]

I never had, "the thoughts of wanting to be a girl."  I was one.  Just that others insisted I couldn't present as one.

This was me too!

[Lori Dee]

Hi Everyone

Lori you said:

What I have highlighted in red is wrong, let me show you why

42 = (4x10 + 2)
42 = (40 + 2) 
42 = 42
QED 

The 4 represents 4 lots of 10 in the number 42.  I'm just a mathematican  

Yes, Lori I'm aware of reducing the numbers by adding the digits, my mum was into all of this stuff.  Reading tea leaves, telling fortunes with tarot cards and along the way there was some numerology, which I briefly looked at.  Mum never (her children) read our fortunes.  Curious that.

I do love the number 42 and I make a note of it every time I see it anywhere.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
PS  QED = Quod Erat Demonstrandum (Latin what had to be proved or what was to be demonstrated)

I get that, but you are looking at it from the mathematics point of view. In numerology, the digits do not represent values or counts. They are more like frequencies, vibrations, or potentials. The digits are merely symbols to represent those vibrations and are not specific counts of beats per second so to speak. Numerology uses arithmetic primarily, very rarely using multiplication as multiple addition only. It is not "fortune telling" but a means to gather insight. Those who study Kaballah are familiar with Hebrew characters that represent numerical values as well as words. The intent is not to predict or forecast, but to gain insight into deeper meaning.

But I do like the way you think.

[ChrissyRyan]

You misunderstood.

42 = (4+2) = 6

In numerology, you reduce multi-digit numbers to a single digit through the process of "casting nines". That means repeatedly subtracting nine until you have a single-digit result. The fastest and easiest way to do that is to add the digits together.
 

Now, see how parentheses can eliminate ambiguity?  Especially so with numbers! 

[ChrissyRyan]

It is probably time to bring this thread back to its original topic as we have had many new members since the last post.

[ChrissyRyan]

Here is the original post:

What do you say to people who do not understand why YOU would want to transition?

Fortunately, people whom I have told about my mtf status have been very accepting, but some others with whom I have not disclosed to but have I brought up the subject of transitioning and transsexuality have displayed a lack of understanding. 

So, some of the comments below may have been originally stated in the form of "why would someone" instead of the "why would you" form that I show below.  Or in the form "Do they" instead of the "Do you" form that I show below.

Here some questons and comments, I have heard some.  Some are good questions, some not so.


1.  Oh, you are so handsome (or for ftms, I guess they might say that you are so pretty), why in the world would you do this?"  "You are good looking, you would be silly trying to be a woman, and besides, it makes no sense."

2.  "Have you been under a lot of stress?  Have you sought counseling to deal with this mental problem of wanting to be the other sex?  Do you have multiple personalities?"

3.  "You might be gay and this is a way for you to think that you are straight after all."

4.  "Perhaps you can simply be a more feminine man (or I suppose, for ftms, they might say that you can be a 'tomboy'), after all, it is freaky for anyone to be the sex other than the one you were born."

5.  "Why do you want to do this?  Do you think you are a woman?  When did these thoughts begin?"

6.  "Maybe you just want to wear women's clothes.  Is this a fetish?"

7.  "Hey, society is just down on males now.  It is like it is bad to be a guy.  Just try to be a decent man, ignore all that silliness.  We need both men and women, there is nothing wrong with being a man.  Just be a good man."

8.  "You will get beat up at some point if you transition.  There are going to be some people that will taunt you and try to make your life miserable." 

9.  "You will not be able to get a good job.  You will have no employment history.  It is like your past did not exist.  Besides, who wants a guy to show up at work dressed as a woman?  It would be easier to get a job if you are simply gay.  Maybe you are gay and are in denial."

10. "How are you ever going to sound like a woman, did you ever think about that?"

11. "Are you going to get your thing cut off too?"

12. "What have you been smoking?"

13. "Were you abused as child, is that why you are thinking this way?"

14. "This is simply unnatural.  You can't fool Mother Nature."

15. "As you age, you will look sillier."

16. "Life will not be the same for you.  Can you handle that?"

17. "No one would marry you unless they are equally confused.  Maybe if they are gay or perverts.  Few would even want to date you."   

18. "What you want to do is wrong."

19. "This is just a phase probably.  Give this some time.  Sit on these thoughts.  Maybe these thoughts will go away."

20.  "This impacts more people in your life than just you.  You are being incredibly selfish if you go through with this.  If you are married, I doubt your wife would stay with you.  Your friends, customers, and relatives will disown you.  Maybe a few would be accepting.  You will give up a lot."

21.  Are you going to move away and start a new life?  You might have to."

22.  "I love you, but this is a terrible idea... (for some of these reasons noted above.)"


I suppose there are many other things some people may have said along these lines to you or a trans-person that you know.


I simply would answer honestly and hope for the best.

Chrissy

It is sometimes interesting to review the older posts beyond the original to see what has been shared so far too.

[ChrissyRyan]

I was asked today if I am transgender.  I replied with "Why do you think I might be?"

This led to an interesting discussion because I thought it could be a reasonably understanding conversation with a fair minded, curious woman who meant no ill will.  I was right in that perception and our talk ended up being quite cordial. 

Chrissy

[Lori Dee]

I tell them that people who do not experience gender dysphoria cannot fully understand it. They don't need to understand why, as long as they respect our decision that we need to.

In my experience, it is men who seem to struggle with it. I ask them, "What if every time you looked in the mirror, you saw a woman's reflection instead of your own?" Most agree that it would freak them out. I tell them, "Now you are beginning to understand why we feel we need to transition."

[ChrissyRyan]

I tell them that people who do not experience gender dysphoria cannot fully understand it. They don't need to understand why, as long as they respect our decision that we need to.

In my experience, it is men who seem to struggle with it. I ask them, "What if every time you looked in the mirror, you saw a woman's reflection instead of your own?" Most agree that it would freak them out. I tell them, "Now you are beginning to understand why we feel we need to transition."

Lori,


This seems spot on and good thoughts, thank you for sharing.

Chrissy

[Alana Ashleigh]

I tell them that people who do not experience gender dysphoria cannot fully understand it. They don't need to understand why, as long as they respect our decision that we need to.

In my experience, it is men who seem to struggle with it. I ask them, "What if every time you looked in the mirror, you saw a woman's reflection instead of your own?" Most agree that it would freak them out. I tell them, "Now you are beginning to understand why we feel we need to transition."

This. People have no idea painful dysphoria is.

[Alana Ashleigh]

I had no choice but to transition. The few months before I was able to start hrt I was miserable. I was in such pain. I couldn't look at a woman without feeling crippling dysphoria, and envy. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn't keep going on feeling that way. Just getting on hrt was a huge relief.