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Why is Texas so bad for trans folk?

Started by ratkingleo, January 26, 2019, 03:35:57 PM

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ratkingleo

Hey all.
I'm 17, living in Texas. And let me tell you, I absolutely hate it here. It was hard enough getting my parents, (who are in their 60's,) to agree to let me see a gender therapist, and to convince them to let me have permission to start HRT when the time comes. They are so old fashioned, and I know it's not just a Texas thing, but it makes me so angry! My mother is abusive, and my father likes to tell me in any way he possibly can that I am not a man. (I am.) My parents and others around me have really made me lose hope for people being kind and understanding. The few experiences I have had with other trans men through public school have been awful. I was the victim of bullying by an entire Gay-Straight Alliance group, which voted me out of the club on the basis that I had been inpatient hospitalized and it wasn't "safe" for me to be there.  >:( I am homeschooled now because I was the victim of several hate crimes at school (having my head smacked into walls, etc) on the premise of me being trans. I have also been bullied nearly my entire life for being "tomboyish". Why is everyone in Texas a freaking bigot?! It infuriates me! I get that it's a red state, but it feels like every time I turn around, someone is calling me a slur or trying to take away my rights.  :icon_anger: I just want to be happy and free in my own skin. I'm moving away soon, (hopefully this summer,) but I don't understand how people can be so ignorant and dare I say, stupid! My main question is just this: is it just Texas that blows, or is it the people that I'm around?
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Gertrude

Unless you're in Austin, it probably sucks. That said, west coast transplants are moving there. It's going to get better, just not right away.


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biannne

I agree with Gertrude, Austin is very tolerant of TGs (even more than Houston or Dallas).

Anna
Truth Shall Set You Free
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StacyRenee

Many people are not tolerant to anyone that's different. Texas unfortunately had more than most places. I'm in NM, and often go to Texas. I feel safer here simply because of the laws, but the people are about the same. Bigger cities are more likely to be more liberal and accepting of us. I'm seriously considering moving to Albuquerque because of this.

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blackcat

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and hope you can find a better place to live soon.

The only people who gave me a hard time with transitioning were all from a small town, backwoods kind of area. I live and work in a city, and I was shocked by how great everyone has been with my transition. I do think location makes a difference.

Stay safe.
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Sophiaprincess2019

Unfortunately we cannot change how people react to diversity. People are often afraid of things they do not understand.
Usually if you encounter a small town that looks like 1952 chances are people there STILL think like the 50's as well.

Stay safe.

Sophia
1968 Born male but actually girl
1978 Played in girl clothes
1988 Dressed in girl clothes
1998 Wanted to be a girl socially
2008 Trying lying to myself
2018 Dreamed of becoming a girl
12-8-2018 Knew I was a woman
2-22-2019 Started HRT
2-22-2024 Transition completed
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Allison S

That's awful... I know my family sees it as something I decided to do...and yeah, I did make that choice myself because I had to.

Honestly everyone is pretty damn bonkers if you ask me.  It's like you'd think we're in a hunger famine except it's people's egos that are starving... I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it though... I hope you get out of there soon and find the peace you need.

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Jenny1969

I am so sorry that you have experienced this in Texas.  All Texans are not bigots.......I know because Im a Texan  ;)  I agree with what is being said about Austin and as I live in Houston I can really see a difference between the two cities.  I hope you have better luck in the future.   Keep on keeping on as they say. 
Jenny :)

20 November 2018 Got off the fence. 3 December 2018 Initial consult and GD diagnoasis. 28 December 2018 started HRT. 14 Feb 2019 Started Spiro

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Linde

Interesting that you ladies think Austin is liberal!  well probably in comparison to he rest of Texas, it might be!
My sister in law and her family live in Austin for 20+ years now, and since 20+ years she hopes to get an assignment outside of Texas, preferably back p north (she is in a higher gov't position, and can only move if such a position is open in another location).  She is from Minneapolis, and feels that everything and everybody in Austin is more conservative than in the smallest northern woods town in Minnesota!
It seems again to be true, everything is in the eyes of the beholder!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Colleen_definitely

All my surgeries were done in Texas, so I'd say it has been pretty good to me.   :D
As our ashes turn to dust, we shine like stars...
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Gertrude

Quote from: Dietlind on January 27, 2019, 09:03:54 AM
Interesting that you ladies think Austin is liberal!  well probably in comparison to he rest of Texas, it might be!
My sister in law and her family live in Austin for 20+ years now, and since 20+ years she hopes to get an assignment outside of Texas, preferably back p north (she is in a higher gov't position, and can only move if such a position is open in another location).  She is from Minneapolis, and feels that everything and everybody in Austin is more conservative than in the smallest northern woods town in Minnesota!
It seems again to be true, everything is in the eyes of the beholder!
It's all relative. I'm from NY and have lived in Iowa and now AZ. I'd never move to the south...and some other places. Too expensive to move back to NY though. I'd like to check out the PNW.


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Linde

Quote from: Gertrude on January 27, 2019, 12:28:34 PM
It's all relative. I'm from NY and have lived in Iowa and now AZ. I'd never move to the south...and some other places. Too expensive to move back to NY though. I'd like to check out the PNW.


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I moved to southern Florida, because I was sick and tired to freeze my butt off, for 1/2 of the year up in Minnesonsin.
If I would be younger, it would be very hard for me to live here.  This is so conservative and right wing here (for the white people), and the Latinos seem to live in a absolutely different country.  There is very little interaction between the old white people and the way younger Latinos.  And now that the snow birds are here (who, of course are all retired people), it is even worse, because they are loud and obnoxious on top!

I live away from those kind of people, and am the only white person on the block.  The remainder of the population is fro Cuba, and somehow they seem to like me.  They seem to like almost everything German, they drive mostly German cars, and those I have contact with drink only German beer, if ever possible!

Anyway, i would not recommend to any alternative thinking /living younger person to even dream about moving to Florida!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Nikkimn

It's the south come up north a lot more accepting up here.


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Victoria L.

Quote from: Nikkimn on January 27, 2019, 05:58:21 PM
It's the south come up north a lot more accepting up here.

If only it were that simple, Nikkimn!

My family and I really want to move to the Northeast really bad, but the cost of living is just so high up there, it's setting us back a while.
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Nikkimn

I live in Minnesota which is fairly tolerant I've never ever been called anything nasty to my face. I won't say it's "perfect" by any means but people are generally pretty tolerant and accepting here. They won't give you any trouble. West coast is also obviously pretty tolerant. My experience is the metropolitan areas are the most queer accepting and liberal. Many people have said Austin is good I would agree. My advice go where you're celebrated and stop wasting your breath on ignorant people.


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Athenajacob

Quote from: ratkingleo on January 26, 2019, 03:35:57 PM
(hopefully this summer,)

I hope you do and sooner than later, this sounds so inhumane how you are being treated. I had worked in Texas, remote but had to travel there, and am not out socially, but I found it to be so odd. So many downtrodden and homeless folk and a simplicity of thinking that is not a positive attribute in my view. Suggest you consider a trans-friendly west coast or east coast state. I hear good things about Portland OR, maybe there?

You seem very strong and I am confident you will make it! I would not worry about Texas people, whatever is wrong with them is on them not you!

Warmly,

Athena
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Ryuichi13

Quote from: Nikkimn on January 27, 2019, 05:58:21 PM
It's the south come up north a lot more accepting up here.

I agree!  I'm on the East Coast, 2 hours or so from NYC, and we're pretty tolerant here.  The LGBTQIA+ community where I live is pretty cool, and there's an active trans community around Yale University, from what I understand.  Get yourself into Yale, and you should (hopefully) be better off.

Ryuichi


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Jenny1969

Quote from: Nikkimn on January 27, 2019, 05:58:21 PM
It's the south come up north a lot more accepting up here.


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Ummmmmmm    NO!!!   You have SNOW up there!!!!!   LOL
Jenny :)

20 November 2018 Got off the fence. 3 December 2018 Initial consult and GD diagnoasis. 28 December 2018 started HRT. 14 Feb 2019 Started Spiro

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Victoria L.

Quote from: Jenny1969 on January 28, 2019, 11:27:03 AM
Ummmmmmm    NO!!!   You have SNOW up there!!!!!   LOL

While the South has tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. I'd rather have snow.
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NatalieRene

Quote from: Virelai on January 28, 2019, 01:59:19 PM
While the South has tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. I'd rather have snow.
Michigan gets snow and tornadoes.
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