Definitely HATE... If I didn't need *it* in order to have a vagina, I would have cut *it* off already. Early on in transition I didn't hate, but I do now, and it is getting worse by the day. Two weeks ago while in Ann Taylor Loft's dressing room I tried to rip *it* off through my jeans. Of course it didn't work, but it felt good. That wasn't a concious decision. It was definitely an irrational decision. It was when I was at one of my most despressed/angry at the world/resentful towards all women with God-given vaginas moments.
This topic brings something else up... you admit suicidal or similar thoughts like mutilation of genitals and your therapist is required to report it (at least where I live). This is so backwards to a TS, because we just want the correct genitals, and money will get them, and institutionilizing us makes us lose money, and possibly our job, and a therapist really can't actually FIX the problem, unless of course they are really good with a scalpel. BTW, no I haven't been institutionilized. It has just always been one of those catch-22's that bugged me.
Amy