Help me decide if i need FFS, was read today... it was so disheartning

[Just Mandy]

I know I need a nose job... it's huge, but what else do I need to change?

I don't want to be pretty... just want to be able to go anywhere and not have to worry
about being read.

Do I need Chin/Jaw work?

Is there any hope for me passing?

Photo removed for privacy

[Cindi Jones]

If you get harassed, try to figure out what you did wrong and correct it.  Usually we overdress for the occasion. Red really stands out as well.  If you want to get noticed, wear red!  Is this what you wore?

Hmmm... you didn't include your profile, so I can't see that you need a nose job.  Hormones may soften your facial features some and you may not need anything.  I don't know... the pictures show a face with lots of potential without surgery hon.  I'm sorry to break the news to you.

I had a chin very similar to yours.  It  changed as I went through transition.  The cleft sort of went away.  Oh it's still there some, but I needed no surgery to be happy.

Cindi

[Just Mandy]

Thanks for the comments Cindi It was by glance alone that I was read so I know it's the way I look. I had on the
same outfit... it is acually hot pink lol... I love bright colors. You're right, maybe I need to avoid standing out.

I don't have a full profile but this shows a little more... trust me my nose is huge 

You can see a little more here

picture removed

[cindybc]

Hi Amanda, Welcome to Susan's.
I agree with Cindi, I think that you shouldn't have to many problems passing just the way you are. I know that photos have a way of either revealing to much detail or not enough. but over all from what I see I believe that with just a few adjustments that can be made with make up facially could do much for you without FFS. But then if you can afford FFS by all means, but to be honest I still don't think much in the way of aggressive surgery will be required. How long have you been on HRT? HRT changes quite a lot after a time.

Cindy

[Keira]

I think that you MAYBE need FFS, but its up to you, its not
an absolute necessecity.

Besides the nose, which is not bad at all, its thin so they
won't have to break it (mine was like that too).
the chin makes the face look longer and thinner, but here again
its just a tweek that's maybe needed, bone buring, not cutting.

Just concentrate on what really bothers you, the rest is more
for cosmetic reasons I feel.

[Just Mandy]

Thanks for the welcome Cindy and the kind comments! I've been at Cindy's for awhile but I read a lot and don't
post much  

And Keira thanks you so much, I know how much you know about FFS from all your past posts,
I've learned a lot from reading them. And look at you, you're so beautiful, you really put your knowledge to
work!  Your comments make me feel so much better and mean a lot since you know so much about FFS.
I was thinking I needed so much more.

I've been on HRT about two months now but that won't change my nose or any of the other things
that make me look so guyish. When I see my pictures I see a guy with long hair, but I know I need to give HRT time.

I think the nose is a given. But I was thinking that cheek implants would help give my face some width
and it would not be so long and straight. I'd also like to do something with the chin but I'm not sure what
it needs. When I smile it juts out and relaxed it is a little receeded. Would trimming it or an implant help
that? It seems like an implant would make it jut out more when I smile?

I promised myself I would not try to transistion to full time util I was totally comfortable with my looks
and I see so much male that it's hard for me to see how I can ever get there. I think I'm around 50%
passable and most people would still see guy still when they look at me.

[Sheila]

As far as I can see, you don't need anything at all. There are woman who look very masculine and there are guys who look very feminine. I don't see any masculinity in your face. You look like a woman. It must have been something else or you just thought it cause someone looked at you funny. Did they actually say that is a man? I did you flinch? How was your walk? You didn't walk like a guy did you? Don't beat yourself up, hon. You look very nice, from your picture.
Sheila

[Just Mandy]

Thank you Sheila.

I could tell it was his first glance that he read me so I know it was not my walk or voice or anything like that. He was
an obvious cross-dresser(6ft/250lbs, black guy, 8" lighted heels, etc) so that may have had something to do with it.

I also have not had any laser/electro yet and I might have had a slight beard shadow. Although when I got to the car I
could not see it. And I was wearing the pink windbreaker that I have on in the pictures and girls jeans and flip-flops. I'm
a little big(for a woman), 5-10/155 which makes me slim but I have no hips or waist, I can wear a size 4 misses but usually
wear size 6M. So I'm not huge. Anyway I was walking behind him about ten feet away and he turned to look down an isle.
He must have caught a glimpse  because he swiveled around so quick to get a better look that I thought
he was going to fall down. LOL. By that time I was right up to him and he smiled and said "hello, how are you".
I said "Fine, how are you" in my best voice. If I was not so mortified at having being read I might have stayed to
chat but I was so embarrassed and shaken I just kept walking. I felt bad because I know he was being nice but I
just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. There were a lot of people around and I felt like everyone was watching us.
If he had not been so obvious or in an isle alone I would have chatted. But it was horrible and now I'm having a hard
time going out dressed. I know I just need to regain my confidence and do it but I feel very self conscious now.

You know, I don't care about being pretty, or having the best body (althought that would be great ), but
I just want to "be me" and be able to go anywhere without being read and I guess I've got a ways to go.

Anyway thanks everyone for listening, I love having you guys around!

Amanda

[cindybc]

Hi Amanda, you made me smile, you remind of of a doe caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, really, I was the same way when I started out. And please don't get in to much of a hurry to alter your facial appearance until the Estrogen has had time to do it's stuff, which could take anywhere from 2 months to 6 months even longer before it fully take affect. I was underweight, actually I was anorexic and looked awful when I started out full time as Cindy, without the HRT. Once I got on HRT and began a good healthy diet and put on weight I look way different now comparedd to when I began. People now don't even pay me no notice when they walk by, unless I stop to ask them where the bathroom is.

It's all in projection hon, walk proudly with your back arched, chin up slightly, and walk down that side walk like you owned it and you were good Queen Bess.  You will see the difference in how people look at you.  Believe me hon, I have encountered all different kinds of the mixture that makes the human species.
Big, small, in between, black, yellow, white, red, pink, blue, and purple........ scratch the purple, Beatleguisians couldn't make it this year.  Have a wonderful day sweets. 

Cindy

[Just Mandy]

Thanks Cindy... I do feel like a doe in headlights... they are so cute you know. But I'll try to develop the queen bee attitude.

[bethzerosix]

getting rid of the beard will help a lot. im currently doing laser and not only does it help with the blue color but it changes the shape of your face a little. your face currently has thousands of tiny quills stuck in it in the beard area that cause a manly jaw line. im through 2 treatments  and already i can tell a difference.

also... being t/s i am always looking at women wondering 1) how do i stack up, 2) do i like thrie style and how can i use it, and 3)is she really a guy?.... not to be rude, but again.. how do i stack up... there really are some masculine women out there. 

takes one to know one kinda thing with you getting read

[Just Mandy]

also... being t/s i am always looking at women wondering 1) how do i stack up, 2) do i like thrie style and how can i use it, and 3)is she really a guy?.... not to be rude, but again.. how do i stack up... there really are some masculine women out there.

Am I reading this correctly? Are you asking if I'm really a masculine woman? If so... I love you! I can assure you if I were a GG
the last place I'd be hanging out at is susans (no offense to anyone)

If that's not what you're asking I guess I don't get your point.

Oh... and I agree about the beard... I just can't afford it right now.

[bethzerosix]

no...he he..

what i meant is ... that is what i am constantly doing... and i bet the CD that clocked you was thinking similar things.  she was looking for others like her. kinda like when im shopping in the womans section i think that everyone is watching... when really no one cares at all.. everyone has there own s**t to worry about. but i can tell right away if another guy is shopping in the womans section... what im saying is that he clocked you because he was watching for people like himself. i doubt anyone else looked hard enough to read you....

and you ARE a  masculine WOMAN.

[Just Mandy]

Ok... LOL... I can see that, I guess I do the same thing. And you're right I think I can read someone
faster than the general public.

... and I still love you

Amanda

[cindybc]

Hi Amanda I quite agree with some of that post, After all I have been a avid watcher of both women and men through the years. Some women appearing to be masculine looking, hell I was married to one yeah and made my life quite miserable, but that don't mean that all manly looking women or homely looking women are bad people. There are also some very androgynous women around about as well. As for any that were TS's I would have been danged if I had known until I have met one or two of them at a TS support group. I have noticed pretty well the same trend with guys, from extremely ugly, homely, endogenous, and drop dead gorgeous. So it's little of this an a little of that. And hun believe me that you truly look good and would have no problems passing after a few minor adjustments  like electrolysis get rid of the facial hair. The rest of the meaning in that post from beth06 posted as smart as I think I might be that one kind of escapes me, and I am a brunet too.

Cindy

Posted on: March 18, 2008, 12:04:59 AMHi beth06  OK I guess I was a little slow on the trigger. Thank you for clearing that up for us. I really don't remember the last time I looked around me to see if anyone was watching except when I wear knee length sun dresses in the Summer, kind of nice to see guys still eying me up. 

Cindy

[Just Mandy]

Thanks Cindy, hair removal is on the top of my list, right behind rhino.

After thinking about it a little I realized I do watch women pretty closly and always have. It's
not in a sexual way, but a "gee I like the way she does that" way. I've always been so
envious of girls that have that certain eye movement or expressions that are so feminine. The
side ways glance after a long blink for example. I guess they learn all that a girl school

[Jay]

Hi Amanda! I dont think you need ffs. Judging by your pictures you look like a woman to me!

[saraswatidevi]

Hi Amanda.

I can assure you if I were a GG the last place I'd be hanging out at is susans

Well, I am a GG and I have been hanging out here for more than a year. I came across the site by accident and I just love the people here.

As to the surgery I think it would be hard to decide without professional help. Because you just can't visualize the changes on your own face. I know I couldn't. Julie Marie had a thread about a place that she sent pictures and they modified them to show how she would look after various procedures. I think this information would help you a lot.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,24462.0.html

Your face, right now, is within the parameters of other women. I think you would be downright pretty with a little less nose.

[cindybc]

Hi Jay my thoughts exactly.

Hi Amanda, "hee, hee," Ya I think woman and girl watching is quite common to us, kind of like window shopping. Well I have done the same with men, I even have one in one of the Yahoo Groups that would kneel before him and just worship him. Beautiful person. 

Hi Ssaraswatidevi, I remember you from a while back. Well I can't say I just happen to stumble on this place but I was doing some research on the subject of TS's when I stumbled on this group. That was 8 years ago, hmmmm how time flies. I came back here because I was bored stiff, I got pensioned off a couple of years ago. I thought I would came back and see if there was anything I could do to help.

By the way Wing Walker and I officially opened the doors to our new drop in and support group for TS folks last night. Now I got something to do for at leas one day out of the week.

You all have a wonderful day, especially you  Amanda.

Cindy     

[Just Mandy]

Jay: Thanks so much! It feels so good to get all these re-assurances, especially from a cute
guy like yourself

Sara: I had no idea that you were a GG, and I hope I did not offend you, I've seen your posts
before and I've often thought I'd like to be as pretty and feminine as that girl ... now I know why.
And I think the people here are pretty cool too.

I know the V-FFS site and I've used her services. Alexandra uses pictures wearing no makeup
and it's REALLY hard to process what everything will look like with makeup. Makeup can
make all the difference. Also the Virtual FFS site for anyone that does not know it is
http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/ and it really is amazing to see what can be done.

BTW: I could never get the makeup to my satisfaction until I asked a professional makeup artist
for help. If anyone needs pointers and are in the Las Vegas area Nicole(a beautiful GG) at
www.primpthis.com is a makeup artist and works with CD/TG/TS clients. She has a
private studio so if your pre-transition or just starting your transition you will not feel embarrassed
to go in boy-mode. Nicole is so good and takes you step by step through the process. I can't say enough
how kind and how good her work is and how well she teaches what she knows. Anyone that needs a little
help with their look should try her. You will not be disappointed.

Oh... thank you so much for the compliment it does my self-esteem wonders coming from a GG.

Cindy: thanks, you have a good day too!