I thought just like you when I started out. I didn't want to lose the person I was simply because I had my penis removed. I loved all types of sports, also hiking, camping, working on cars. I didn't dress up very much, and when I did it was usually something subtle, womens jeans and a gender neutral top. I loved wearing panties, but not so much bras. But everytime I stepped in the shower, I knew that thing between my legs didn't belong there. I hated looking at it, having that part of my body disgusted me. I would tuck it even when I was in the shower. The few times I made love to a woman, I felt very jealous of her. I wanted to be her, I wanted to feel what she was feeling. I wantedto have her parts, but I was scared I lose the other parts of my life that I enjoyed so much. I wanted to be the same person just with breasts and a vagina.
I felt subtle changes when I started hormones, mainly my emotions took off. I enjoyed the little things of life so much more with the hormones. I laughed more, smiled more, cried more. My interests remained the same. But my body began changing. My skin became softer. My breasts began to grow, not much, but enough to know they were there. My hair became fuller and my butt and hips filled out. I lost alot of my strength and stamina in sports. I became softer and weaker.
Through the two years on HRT and the 1 and a half year of RLT, I felt I stayed the same person at my core with softening around the edges which I fully welcomed.
The biggest change came about six months after my SRS. I happiest moment of my life to date, was when I looked down between my legs in that hospital bed three days after my surgery and saw that it was not there, even though my vagina looked like ground beef. But at around the six month mark, I finally accepted myself as a full woman. I started enjoying wearing sexy clothes, whether it be a cute bra and panty set, or a nice little cocktail dress. I started noticing being noticed by men, and I liked it. It reinforced my womanhood. Slowly, I took better care with my make-up and hair, and what I wear. Eventhough, I never was attracted to men before the surgery, I thought I was going to be one of those cool tomboy-type lesbians, I found myself noticing and wanting men more and more, not just to admire me, but to have me physically.
I still like playing sports and watching football and basketball on TV, I am much more of a regular girl than I ever thought I would be. I seem to go back and forth between the jean wearing tomboy and the mini-skirt wearing chick. That's is what so great about becoming a woman, we can be whatever we what whenever we want.
PS - The sex is incredible. Pussies rule.
