The Stigma of De-Transition

[Rachael]

Isnt the point that you're happy with being the right sex now? not enjoying transition?

[Suzy]

To me, the real shame is societal expectation that we must be either one gender or the other. No acceptance for anyone in between or outside. And rigorous enforcement against expression of anything else. I think it's time for society to transition.

I like this statement best of all.  One of the things I have always appreciated about you, Z, is how adamantly you stand behind everyone who is trying to be authentic is her/his journey, and your recognition that painting this with a wide brush destroys the beauty of those of us who are, for circumstances beyond our control, gathered near the fragile edge.

Thanks for a great article!

Kristi

[Kate]

Isnt the point that you're happy with being the right sex now? not enjoying transition?

Transitioning was THE most amazing and wonderful period of my life, methinks. Shedding all that fear and guilt... and being lucky enough to experience the outpouring of compassion and kindness I received... the things I did that I never thought I could...

Just WOW. I'll never, ever forget it.

~Kate~

[soldierjane]

Isnt the point that you're happy with being the right sex now? not enjoying transition?

Transition is the moment when you get to experience your target gender for the first time, when you start having little glimpses of what being true to yourself feels like. It's experiencing a heretofore unknown freedom, so of course I enjoyed transition. I would have preferred not to have had to transition (born right), but that's a different thing altogether.

[Lisa Harney]

"Paternalistic"? I think you misunderstand. I'm only thinking about the hassle and pain that the person who transitions has to go through and how that can be a huge damper on the enjoyment of transitioning and self expression, even leading to depression and other mental health issues. Some people buckle and break after facing continuous harassment so if someone is going to de/retransition, I'd like to make sure that it's because it's what they want and the next step in their developmental path, not just because they got shot down or the pressure was too much. The choice is to be theirs, not indirectly other people's.

"If you need to transition, you transition" True indeed, but from deciding to transition until reaching a successful transition there's a lot of steps in-between not necessarily related to figuring out your gender identity proper.

Ah, I guess I did. I thought you were talking about the initial transition.

Also, I totally agree with you on the "joy of transition" existing. It was probably the most liberating time in my life to shed the necessity for a false persona.

Posted on: October 29, 2008, 04:35:00 pm

Transition is the moment when you get to experience your target gender for the first time, when you start having little glimpses of what being true to yourself feels like. It's experiencing a heretofore unknown freedom, so of course I enjoyed transition. I would have preferred not to have had to transition (born right), but that's a different thing altogether.

I don't agree that we're born wrong, though. The problem isn't that we exist, but how people treat us - how society treats us.

[Stealthgrrl]

I cannot imagine anyone being alive and not being in a constant state of transition that goes far beyond any sex-changes or changes back.

Life is persistent and constant change.

Nikki

Not if you're my mother. She's been exactly the same for decades, even the same hairstyle.