Hiding In Plain Sight ...
Posted December 10, 2008
http://radnichole.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/hiding-in-plain-sight/So,more "internalized transphobia?" I don't really think so, simply because I intend to chat today about myself. Once again, the previous dictum holds true: if you think you see yourself here, (unless you happen to be one of the folks I mention by name later on down the page) you are mistaken. This is simply about my observations of my own life. If it applies to others as well ... well, sometimes that's just the nature of things and isn't meant as an indictment of you should you read this. Let alone does it mean to be an indictment of transsexed or transsexing people. My basic thought about us as a group is that we usually lie more to ourselves than to others.
By the time others hear us speak of our lives or our thoughts, the lying to ourselves has become so deeply ingrained that we believe it to be true. Therefore, if you hear it from us in that regard, you are probably hearing exactly what we believe. Press us and we are likely to give you that ... the truth as we know it. Trouble is that the knowing has often been ingrained by our circumstances, by our consistently negative reactions from those we love most growing up. One learns to hide, at some point, what is quite literally unspeakable.
