New Corrupt-A-Wish

[Nor]

Granted! But now the video quality is horrific.

I wish my friends weren't so flakey.

[Dante]

Granted, now they're crispy. (lol, sorry!)

I wish I liked fish.

[Nor]

 Granted. But now they're extinct.

I wish I lived in Vancouver.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted, but it is Vancouver, WA not B.C.

I wish that the USA had universal heath care for all, including the Transsexual/Transgendered community.

[Dante]

Granted, the US has health care for all. But unfortunately, the health care sucks, and you can't get a different provider, so it helps absolutely nothing.

I wish I could visit Japan.

[Nor]

Granted, but it's in an urn, so that your surviving family can spread some of your ashes.


I wish I was multilingual.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted.  you now speak ten languages.  Most are so obscure that only a hand full of people speak them, and your native language is not one of them.

I wish I wasn't so shy.  I could really like to try to be more slutty.

Janet

[Nor]

Granted, but you end up trying too hard and your friends reject you for being fake.


I wish I was 30.

[V M]

Granted...You will eat panties with hearts on them the rest of your life

I wish I was 21

[Michelle.]

Granted... your the one wearing the edible panties and they never seem to dissolve quite enough.

I wish for a kind stranger to finance my transition.

[Christo]

granted but he's an old crazy dude that wants 2 marry u.  I wish I was 6 ft tall 

[Dante]

Granted, you are 6 feet tall, but you live in a country where everyone is only 4 feet tall, and so everything (houses, beds, furniture, appliances, etc.) is too small for you.

I wish I knew what happens after death.

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted; the knowledge kills you.

I wish cavities were a physical impossibility.

[Constance]

I wish cavities were a physical impossibility.

Granted: you no longer have any teeth.

I wish my heartburn would go away.

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted; it is replaced with extreme stupidity.

I wish people didn't set so much store by clothes.

[Nor]

Granted, humanity completely rejects clothing - and freezes to death during the winter.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

[Alyx.]

Granted, humanity completely rejects clothing - and freezes to death during the winter.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

But you spend it all funding wars.

I wish I had the "Humungus Chicken" from "Elmo in Grouchland".

[V M]

Granted....But the chicken constantly interrupts what ever you're doing just to hen peck you about something that doesn't matter.

I wish I was a Victoria's Secret model 

[Osiris]

Granted, you become a famous victoria's secret model. But you have stalkers and must live in hiding.

I wish I had some potatoes to eat.

[V M]

Granted...You will now have nothing to eat but huge Idaho baker potatoes. But you'll run out of new ways to prepare them

I wish my dog wouldn't stare at me when I'm eating