New Corrupt-A-Wish

[Mr. Fox]

Granted.  The economy collapses and the money is almost worthless.  You might as well burn it for fuel.

I wish I had some high power hair gel.

[Constance]

I wish I had some high power hair gel.

Granted: you know look like Don King.

I wish my GI tract would decide if it wanted me to be sick or well, instead of flip-flopping between the two as it's been doing since Friday.

[Dante]

Too easy!

Granted, it decides you are sick. You have strep.

I wish I was allowed to watch TV again.

[phantom_heart]

Granted but you can only watch mr. Rodgers re-runs! (its a wonderful day in the neighborhood)

I wish no more members of my family would pass away :S

[Dante]

Granted, they are immortal, but your friends mysteriously start disappearing one by one.

I wish vampires were real.

[phantom_heart]

Granted but they sparkle in the sunlight and are vegetarians *grins*

I wish we had enough food

[Dante]

Granted, your house is filled to the brim with dog food, and you have to sleep on the lawn. What? You didn't say it had to be human food.

I wish the moon were made of cheese. *Wallace and Gromit, cough cough* 

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted: Not only is the moon now made of cheese, it's made of stinking, megalomaniactic cheese!

I wish I didn't have to do this presentation on Friday afternoon...

[Ellieka]

Granted now you have to do it first thing Monday morning and you stay up all weekend worrying about it.


I wish the job I checked on today was already mine.

[Chaos_Dagger]

Granted, it was already yours three days ago, now your fired for not going in.

Wish my wife would do as I asked...

[fae_reborn]

Granted, but in exchange you have to be her servant for a year after.

I hope I get this job I'm going in for an interview tomorrow.

[Ellieka]

Granted! but I hate you because it was supposed to be mine! 

I wish I had a hot dog now. All the talk in the ->-bleeped-<- thread has made me hungry!

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted, a Great Dane with a fever of 104 shows up at your door, howling. 

I wish my boobs were a cup size smaller.

[fae_reborn]

Granted! but I hate you because it was supposed to be mine! 

I wish I had a hot dog now. All the talk in the ->-bleeped-<- thread has made me hungry!

Oh my!

Granted, your boobs are a size smaller, but your hips are now a size bigger. 

I wish this headache would go away.

[stacyB]

Granted, but at least you get to admire the find craftsmenship of the guillotine - one last time 

I wish I could find my car keys...

[Christo]

granted they're inside ur body like in the movie Saw  Wish my truck didnt need an oil change 

[V M]

Granted... someone just stole the engine and wheels and left your truck sitting on cinder blocks 

I wish my neighbor that yells at his TV all day and night would get permanent laryngitis.

[Constance]

I wish my neighbor that yells at his TV all day and night would get permanent laryngitis.

Granted: so he gets a boarhound to bay at the TV for him.

I wish I could get Nair applied right the first time.

[stacyB]

Granted, problem is you mistook it for shampoo... beautiful shiny dome! 

I wish the day were over, have the next 4 days off of work...

[Mr. Fox]

This day is over.  It turns out to be your last.  You die in your sleep tonight.  Rest in peace.

I wish that I were graduating this year.