Quote from: Annwyn on August 29, 2006, 09:06:02 PM...
Yes... but I still think it's all about sex, in one form or another.
All right, how do the situation I find myself compute to you Annwyn?
Now your 'one form or another' is pretty much a catch all, but by and large I do this mess (transition) to 'feel' proper, sex really isn't that much of a concern to me. Let me explain...
Now granted, I may just be an odd one, but at around 15 or so I figured out I'd do (in a heart beat) a brain transplant (or whatever), that is to say, I would switch physical sexes if I ended up proper. Fully functional body and all that. Obviously such is still a pipe dream and so I did nothing. 15 years later I could not and WOULD NOT stand it anymore and started to transaction.
During that 15 years I identified as a normal heterosexual male and was plagued with a sex drive. Roughly 80%-90% of the time I did not want the sexual thoughts. Frankly, I had better things to think of.
Note that during this time I remained single, not that I was overly happy about that but when no one interesting is interested that is kind of what happens, lol.
Later, around 29.4 or so, I met a woman who latter became my friend to fiancée and back to friend when I came out to her. During this time before I woke up and 'came out' and given that she is a very sexual and sensual person, I spent a lot of time dealing with the sexual thoughts and exploring my own sexuality. Over all I expected I could keep her happy once married (we were/are separated by a number of miles) however it kind of seemed like a drag to me. But, that is sight unseen and unexperienced. (I am still a virgin).
Then I woke up and any possibility of intimacy fell though the floor I was able to drop the sexual thoughts pretty much entirely. Once on HRT my sex drive dropped to basically zero. I found and find this most refreshing. Currently, I think about something regarding sex roughly less than once a month. Those thoughts are unwelcome and very brief.
During my own evolution into myself I came to understand that I was not heterosexual but rather pansexual. I used to call myself bisexual, but I find my definition of bisexual closer matches 'pansexual' so I go with that now.
This discrepancy, specifically the 'changing' sexual orientation is due to my personal views of what is acceptable for myself. I did not see gay attraction to be acceptable, regardless of terms used. I did not however have any problem with a female being bisexual. This said, I am far more interested in females. THAT said, currently, my interest in sex is more of a resigned inevitability than a want.
Currently I basically identify as asexual, specifically an asexual pansexual, as I have zero interest in sex for the duration of transition.
This said, in the future when I am as physically female as possible I intend to drop the sexual ban and if something happens then something happens. However, I do not expect to go looking. I mean honestly, sex is just sex it is not that interesting. But, that is in the future, and currently I have no problem with the thought of dying an old maid. Not my preference mind but what will happen will happen.
By the by it
feels like I should opt for SRS rather than a nullification/labiaplasty route so I am. I am honestly not opting for SRS so I can have sex, it just seems like the 'right' thing to do.
But meh, the way I see it is if I have sex then yay, I have sex. If not, then yay. It is just not a concern for me that I can tell.
(My idea of a 'good time' is a walk on the beach hand in hand in the moonlight. -- Knowing me and anyone with whom I would be doing that with we would probably be discussing things that are very much out of this world.
)
Ok, so given that I can see some sexual reason, I.e. a want for sex and a perceived end to the loneliness, but frankly I would do this, in a heart beat, even if I was assured I would die single, a virgin, and alone. I honestly mean that.
P.s. No, SRS is
DEFINITELY NOT right for
every transsexual.
