Concerned about stacking subtleties (or not so subtle) too far

[justmeinoz]

Anyone who cycles has an easy answer regarding shaving.
I started shaving my arms and legs a few months ago, and only one person commented. I said I cycle, which isn't a lie, cyclists  shave for injury reduction if they crash. If you slide down the road the hair melts together from the friction and pulls out large lumps. Nasty, but shaving prevents this.

[Radar]

Though...I do often wonder...how dense are these people? 
Sure...I've tried to be as subtle and gradual as possible, but I don't see how they can miss all of it together and not think that *something* is up.

I'm in the same boat here. Nobody says anything but if they haven't noticed something then they'd have to be blind and deaf.
Post Merge: April 06, 2010, 07:40:20 AM

People in the workplace are oblivious. They don't care about you or anyone else except themselves. They want to do as little work as possible and take as much money home as possible. If your appearance starts to affect their workload or how much money they get, then they'll care.
If not, they won't care at all.

You are 110% correct. Most co-workers truly care less about each other- it's all about the money.

[Arch]

I had inch long nails, both ears pierced, wore female deodorant, shaved my arms, wore lipgloss, plucked my eyebrows and only TWO people noticed in a building of 600+ people (all of whom I interacted with at one time or another).

You mean, only two people actually SAID something. For every one who says something, it's quite likely that many others are talking about you behind your back.

[casorce]

You mean, only two people actually SAID something. For every one who says something, it's quite likely that many others are talking about you behind your back.

...which I couldn't care less about.

[Arch]

...which I couldn't care less about.

...and if they are, then it means that more than two people noticed. In truth, you don't really know how many picked up on you; all you know is who has said something to your face so far.

Maybe the original poster is a little paranoid, but she has every reason to be. Not everyone is going to tell her that they've noticed her alterations, and it could make a big difference if the little changes add up.

[casorce]

...and if they are, then it means that more than two people noticed. In truth, you don't really know how many picked up on you; all you know is who has said something to your face so far.

Yes, you've already stated this.
I really don't care what people at work think, so long as it doesn't disrupt my ability to do as little work as possible and take home as much money as possible.
And nothing happened to disrupt my work/money earning ratio, so as I said:
I couldn't care less about what they think.

[Arch]

Yes, you've already stated this.
I really don't care what people at work think, so long as it doesn't disrupt my ability to do as little work as possible and take home as much money as possible.
And nothing happened to disrupt my work/money earning ratio, so as I said:
I couldn't care less about what they think.

That's not the point, but I'm not spoiling for a fight. Let it lie.

[casorce]

That's not the point, but I'm not spoiling for a fight. Let it lie.

Take your own advice. I thought I was pretty clear that I didn't want to discuss it further when I stated that I couldn't care less.

[Arch]

Take your own advice. I thought I was pretty clear that I didn't want to discuss it further when I stated that I couldn't care less.

Sorry, typo, my bad. I meant to write "Let's let it lie." I was not in any way trying to tell you what to do.

[Autumn]

It may not matter to you but it may matter to other people. It may not be at work. It may be at school, in family, or where ever. Not everybody will pick up on everything, but people will notice, and they will talk, or wonder.

Lip gloss isn't as subtle as we think it is. Nails really bother some people. A lot of times women will react to the brows.

It's important for people to realize that it does get noticed, and either be confident about it, or have a good answer. Either way, don't get flustered when someone calls you on it.

[casorce]

It may not matter to you but it may matter to other people. It may not be at work. It may be at school, in family, or where ever. Not everybody will pick up on everything, but people will notice, and they will talk, or wonder.

How unfortunate for them.

[Autumn]

How unfortunate for them.

And how clearly we all win since this account is no longer active, but for the viewers at home, I meant it matters for other people in this thread, or in their own transitions.

[Arch]

And how clearly we all win since this account is no longer active, but for the viewers at home, I meant it matters for other people in this thread, or in their own transitions.

Thanks, Autumn. Yes and yes. It also matters to coworkers, and they can make your life a living hell if management is lousy. So it's unfortunate for trans people who have to put up with that until they can make other job arrangements.

Which was the whole point of this thread, and which some people just did not seem to get. Or perhaps did not want to.

Can we get back on track now?