Quote from: Nero on August 05, 2010, 04:27:31 PM
It's not a simple decision to name yourself. Probably why most of the world doesn't do it. 
About the 'symbiotic relationship' to people and the names, that probably comes about through use. I mean you're told from as far back as you can remember that a name represents you. Because we're not going to have that relationship with our new name, we probably should pick something that 'feels like us' already. Were you jealous of any girls' names when you were little? If you have a long history of liking a specific name, that may mean something.
BTW, I love Claudia! Very pretty and classic.
A name just seems like a very intimate part of some people. I hear someones name and sometimes it just has a feeling to it that describes that person exactly. My given name was Cody, and to me it's a very awkward name, and that's exactly how I ended up growing into it, very awkwardly. It seems to describe the struggling I went through for the longest time to just be the boy everyone expected me to be. Now that I'm over that, it feels even more foreign to me than it ever has before.
Quote from: Colleen Ireland on August 05, 2010, 04:37:37 PM
This is probably one of the harder things about transitioning. But it's kinda fun, too, if you let it be. When I first tried, all I could think of was my favorite dog from childhood... Maggie. So I was Maggie for a while, but then I didn't care to be named after a dog, and even though my mother's middle name is Margaret, so Maggie could fit, I decided to try something else. So I went with Kim for a while, because it's like my given name except for the first letter. But after a while, I decided I liked Colleen, because it's Irish and means "Girl". And that's where I'm at for now. Might still change it again, not sure. However...
"C" names you might not have thought of (that might work): Cassandra (Cassie), Constance (Connie), (Colleen - it's okay, you could use it), Corrinne, Candace...
"J" names that might work: Janet, Jane, Jennifer, Julie, Joanne, Jordan, Janice, Judy, Judith...
Mix and match! Or, you could go with something like "Cici", or even just "CJ".
Yeah, this is probably one of the harder things, because you have TOTAL control over it, and total control ain't easy...
I originally chose Melissa because I have a vague memory of my mom just talking to fill time once, and she mentioned in passing that she would have named me Melissa if things turned out correctly from the start (my words, not hers), but then she went on to say she just knew I was a boy, and she never bothered to check with the doctor before knitting a blue and white blanket (Ugh! That's a depressing thought)
I used it here and there for a little while when I first discovered my true self, but now I'm just sick of it. It never felt right to me, and the time just happened to coincide with my first (and so far, only) love, who has torn my heart apart with her gift of hateful spite and jealousy
I may have tainted the name with dreary days and tear-soaked nights.
Her name was Kassandra, so for obvious reasons I'd like to avoid that name and any derivative. Most other C names I don't really feel much draw towards, other than Claudia so far at least.
I was considering Juliana, pronounced the German way (yoo-lee-AH-nah) for a middle name, and it does seem to fit pretty well with Claudia I think. The ancient Roman namesakes of Claudia had last names ending with the the ah sound as well, and makes for pretty nice sound. Octavia would also be a good option if I decide to stray from the same initials idea, plus it could make it more obvious why the name was chosen in case anyone ever asks. Claudia Octavia was the first wife of Nero, I could just say my parents were fans
I don't know how parents do this with only 9 months notice...
Quote from: Fencesitter on August 05, 2010, 04:50:40 PM
"Claudia" means the (female) person who limps in Latin. It's not so great a name if you know what it means. And I know both a (female) Claudia and a (male) Claudius who are somewhat angry at their parents because they did not look up the meaning of the name before choosing that name for their kids.
Claudia sounds really nice with German pronounciation, but with English pronounciation, it looses a lot of its character and sounds below average for a name to choose... but that's just my opinion.
Well but coming back to your question, how to name yourself. Try to find at least one of your names which is pretty common for your age and the place you live - or where you are coming from if you look like a foreigner or have a foreign accent. Just a plausible name which nobody wonders about. You can add fancy names to it (without a hyphen between the names, please) and ask people to call you by the fancy name, but this "boring regular name" may help you in the next decades if you change your mind about how to call yourself.
Because people tend to ask you why you have a certain name if it's not just boring and normal for your age. They just try to find a topic to start conversation. There's nothing wrong with it, it's even a nice idea, but this can be very bothersome for trans people. And the more your name is unusual, the more you get asked... well, either you lie, or you circumscribe how you got your name or whatever. There is no elegant solution. So if you choose a fancy name, it is always good to have a common name to go back to if the fancy name gets too stressfull for you in the long run.
You might also ask your parents which name they want to give you and maybe agree together with them on a name that suits you. That's a very elegant and respectful solution as you are their kid.
I chose a name which is absolutely common in my parents' country for people of my age, but less common (without being exotic) for people where I live and I still get asked sometimes why I have this name... duh! 
And I am happy not to have chosen a name which is not plausible or very exotic.
I did not notice that on
behindthename.com. It was hidden in the reference to Claudius. It does bring new light to the character in Anne Rice's novel though. She was handicapped in comparison to "normal" vampires, as she can never grow up. An matured adult in the body of a child, trapped for eternity. It does draw parallel to my situation, in particular the clichéd phrase "Woman trapped in a mans body".
I'm not too worried about it's less than ideal meaning, as it does still seem relevant even after it's discovery.
The English pronunciation does detract from the names beauty, but not enough to turn it ugly. I can always lightly correct someone in conversation, or introduce myself before someone gets to read it.
As I said, it was in the top 200 list of names for 1990, my birth year, right here in America. Quite close to the bottom of that 200, but still there. I don't need anything fancier than a first, middle, and last name though. Personally speaking, too many names gets on my nerves. I can justify the German pronunciation because I have some German in my family tree.
As I said, It's very likely my parents would have named me Melissa, and I just don't feel like it works very well for me. In addition, my parents aren't very supportive of my "decision". My mom has likened it to suicide when I first came out, and refused to assist in any way by encouraging or acknowledging me.
Quote from: Elijah on August 05, 2010, 04:58:10 PM
I dont think names fit people.. i think that people grow into their names.. think about it. When a mother births a child, she pics out a name for it. she has no idea of the childs personality, and babies all look the same for the most part when they are born.. the mother just pics a name, and after years of being called that.. it just sorta sounds like YOU. while the case of transgender people may be different because we are given the name of the wrong gender.
It could be said that people grow into their names in a personality that complements the name. There's probably little to no evidence of this outside of quackery and Facebook quizes though, but how could one go about testing this hypothesis? It's certainly more work than I want to invest.
