Quote from: GinaDouglas on January 23, 2011, 11:34:49 AM
I'd say that our female dating pool is exclusively bi-women.
This is an interesting statement. In some ways I agree and in some ways I heartily disagree.
First of all, consider me: I have never had the slightest sexual or romantic attraction to any man. I'm a complete gold star lesbian. But I've met a few trans women I would absolutely date, if they would have me. So the dating pool of trans lesbians (who are not me) includes at least bio women, plus me.
Second, I dated a lesbian for a bit about a year ago -- not a gold star, but she identifies as lesbian, basically a six on the Kinsey scale. I have known other lesbians -- women who identified as exclusively lesbian -- that dated trans women.
Third, I have known people who identify as lesbian who have dated men occasionally, while still identifying as lesbian. This is not actually unusual: many straight sometimes date people of the same sex. You could say, "well, that means they're bi," but they would disagree with you, and if you came across them on a dating site, they would not be listed as bi. Basically, categories of sexuality are much, much more fluid than most people realize -- not that they are a "choice"; you're either into someone or you're not -- but the boundaries are just quite fuzzy.
Aside from
their preferences, tastes, and orientations, there is
my comfort, and I must say that I feel a bit better dating bi women at this intermediate stage of transition. I find that, since gender for them is less strongly linked to desire, that they tend to be more respectful of my gender. They just don't care, so they take the obvious gender cues I send them as sufficient.
So in the end, even if the dating pool for trans lesbians is
mostly bi women, that is only true if you take a broad definition of "bi." And if you do that, you end up with probably a good two thirds of all queer women; it's not much of a disadvantage.
