Corrupt-A-Wish

[Jeepgirl90]

I hope the snowstorm predicted for tomorrow night misses us.

GRANTED: However now there will be lots of rain, so much that your whole town floods.


I wish I could win a nice lump sum of money

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted! A giant bar of gold falls out of the sky and crushes you. :3

I wish people would worry about their own hair instead of nagging me to cut mine.

[Kevin Peña]

Granted, but everyone becomes consumed by their hair and no longer wish or have the time to hang out with you. 

I wish for a unicorn like Princess Amethyst's.

[Jeepgirl90]

Granted but shortly after you receive it it accidentally kills you with it's horn

I wish I could afford a new house in a nice quiet area

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. You just landed the world's worse case of carpal tunnel syndrome from writing a check to every single poor person on the planet.

Thank you Suzi,

That was a hard one and you dealt with it just so tactfully.

I wish I could afford a new house in a nice quiet area

Granted. However due to a really massive population blow out in human history, the only place we could accommodate you was slap bang on the South Pole, where the chill factor was so intense, you froze to death.

I wish I could stop laughing and crying at the same time

[kariann330]

Wish granted, but instead of laughing and crying you are now coughing and sneezing at the same time.

I wish i wasn't bipolar anymore

[suzifrommd]

I wish i wasn't bipolar anymore

Granted. You're now 100% well adjusted and always in a generally pleasant mood. Now you can't stand to be around any of us, don't understand why we all need to take mood meds, can't see why we don't just snap out of it.

I wish my transition didn't make so many people so unhappy.

[Keira]

I wish my transition didn't make so many people so unhappy.

Granted

Except two years later a chemical spill results in 80% of the world becoming permanently negative/depressed.

I wish I had a condition that made my T level lower and my E level higher.

[Jeepgirl90]

Wish granted but due to your new condition you are now an African Tree Frog


I wish I didn't have to go to work on my day off

[suzifrommd]

I wish I didn't have to go to work on my day off

Too easy: You are now laid off.

I wish my the administrators here appreciated the job I do and thought my program was too important for cutbacks.

[Keira]

I wish my the administrators here appreciated the job I do and thought my program was too important for cutbacks.

Congratulations, your program goes through...unfortunately the administrators manipulate your program to their own ends and leave you with all the blame.

[LocustToybox]

I wish I was born completely satisfied with my body and with superhuman strength and intelligence.

[V M]

I wish I was born completely satisfied with my body and with superhuman strength and intelligence.

Granted... But you live on an alien planet where even the strongest and most intelligent of humans are considered a bunch of weak snivelers

I wish I lived somewhere that my sleep habits were on par with normal daily life

[LordKAT]

granted, however due to normal being sleeping 12 hours a day and eating for 10 hours, you grow sluggish and blimply.

I wish  for 'No More Insults' to be an honest politician's winning slogan.

[ZoeM]

granted, however due to normal being sleeping 12 hours a day and eating for 10 hours, you grow sluggish and blimply.

I wish  for 'No More Insults' to be an honest politician's winning slogan.

Granted. But he's an honest neo-nazi.

I wish that the defense for the Brothers Castro (from the Cleveland case) would, in trial, request the harshest possible sentence for their clients. 'Cause I like to think that even lawyers have moral limits on what they'll defend.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. Unfortuantely due to a long and ruthless search, worldwide, no honest politicans could be found to hang that shingle on.

I wish there were more dark chocolate coated jelly beans in the world

[suzifrommd]

I wish there were more dark chocolate coated jelly beans in the world

Granted. Go out and enjoy them. What is that you say? Can't get your door open? There's a large dark mound of WHAT blocking the way?

I wish my divorce would just go smoothly.

[ZoeM]

Granted. Go out and enjoy them. What is that you say? Can't get your door open? There's a large dark mound of WHAT blocking the way?

I wish my divorce would just go smoothly.

Granted. Your ex gets everything, plus alimony.

I wish standing desks didn't make my feet hurt.

[Devlyn]

Granted. Your ex gets everything, plus alimony.

I wish standing desks didn't make my feet hurt.

Granted,  but your boss is still a pain in the butt!

I wish I had a popsicle.

[ZoeM]

Granted,  but your boss is still a pain in the butt!

I wish I had a popsicle.

Granted. You had a Popsicle - when you were ten.

I wish I had a jelly bean.