Corrupt-A-Wish

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.  The diet of car tyres was soooooo successful, you actually morphed into one. And such was the transformation, you were picked to be a tyre on a Formula 1 racing car that won the world grand prix. (without blow outs or wear - well you did ask for no negative consequences didn't you?)

I wish "Oscar the Grouch's" fairy godmother waved her wand over him and he became eternally happy.

[suzifrommd]

I wish "Oscar the Grouch's" fairy godmother waved her wand over him and he became eternally happy.

Poor Oscar. He's now out of a job. And this showed up on Craigslist:

"To Let: One efficiency trash can. Due to heating issues having fur definitely helps. Sunny disposition need not apply. Send application to 6 Sesame Street."

I wish the temperature where I work were always comfortable.

[Liminal Stranger]

Granted, but you're sent on a permanent business trip to Siberia.
I wish people would quit calling me a girl.

[DriftingCrow]

Granted, but you're sent on a permanent business trip to Siberia.
I wish people would quit calling me a girl.

Granted but now they call you Petunia.

I wish my "female dog" boss would go on vacation permanently, and I'd only have to work with the nice attorneys who give me fun projects. 

[Rachel85]

Granted but now they call you Petunia.

I wish my "female dog" boss would go on vacation permanently, and I'd only have to work with the nice attorneys who give me fun projects. 

Granted! But now all of your "fun" work revolves around clowns, you have a crippling clown phobia and your ex-boss is now your sister-in-law.

I wish that people could only see me how I feel about myself.

[DriftingCrow]

Granted! But now all of your "fun" work revolves around clowns, you have a crippling clown phobia and your ex-boss is now your sister-in-law.

I wish that people could only see me how I feel about myself.

Granted, but now you have a disorder where you can only see yourself as a giant talking stick of asparagus.

I wish I was the Terminator.

[King Malachite]

Granted but you are only a prototype that got discarded.

I wish I was a flute.

[Rachel85]

Granted but you are only a prototype that got discarded.

I wish I was a flute.

Granted! You are always off-key and never got to go to band camp.
I wish I had been born a wealthy Lady in Medieval times with none of the VD that was going around.

[King Malachite]

Granted! You are always off-key and never got to go to band camp.
I wish I had been born a wealthy Lady in Medieval times with none of the VD that was going around.

Granted. You live a long life and die at age 30. 

[Rachel85]

Gah! I'd better make the next two and a half years worthwhile!
Make a wish Malachite!

[DriftingCrow]

Malachite wishes he was in heaven surrounded by 7 beautiful virgins.

[King Malachite]

OOPS lol

Lets go with LearnedHand's idea.  I wish for heaven surrounded by 7 beautiful virgins!

[DriftingCrow]

Granted, except they're 7 beautiful virgin aligators! Look out! 

I wish my jaw didn't keep popping.

[King Malachite]

Granted.  Now you have lockjaw.  No more jaw popping for you!


I wish I had a pet worm.

[DriftingCrow]

Granted, except its one of these scary worms: http://www.cracked.com/article_19988_the-5-most-nightmarish-worms-planet.html

I wish I had a vacation.

[Devlyn]

Granted, except its one of these scary worms: http://www.cracked.com/article_19988_the-5-most-nightmarish-worms-planet.html

I wish I had a vacation.

Granted, you're on a cruise ship doubled over in the bathroom with cruiseshipahrea.


I wish my stereo went to 11.

[Rachel85]

Granted, you're on a cruise ship doubled over in the bathroom with cruiseshipahrea.


I wish my stereo went to 11.

Granted! Your profound hearing loss is only just negated by your fab new stereo! Also, your neighbours now hate you.
I wish I didn't live next to Devlyns' house with her new stereo.

[DriftingCrow]

Granted, you live next to my family which illegally burns trash (including plastic)!

I wish my eyes didn't water when I am sleepy, it makes it really hard to see. G'nite guys, typing blind!

[Rachel85]

Granted, you live next to my family which illegally burns trash (including plastic)!

I wish my eyes didn't water when I am sleepy, it makes it really hard to see. G'nite guys, typing blind!

Granted! Your eyes become so dry that you need to use eyedrops to keep them moist during the day, but you do get a good night sleep

I wish for world peace.
Who's going to ruin that for everyone huh?!

[Devlyn]

Granted, there is peace. Your stockbroker invested every dime you had in Raytheon yesterday.



I wish I had some ice cream.