Granted.
Sadly before you could get down to the serious business of developing a life long relationship, the snail was whisked away by feral hunters looking for truffles, who mistook the snail for one. It was even sadder to hear unfortunately due to a cruel twist of fate, you had been caught up in the snails tail. You apparently were unable to free yourself and ended up in a sleezy dive French restaurant on the west side and eaten by a destitute woman later identified on the late news as Lady Elizabeth Gurtrude Willamena Frogmore the 4th.
I wish I was Cinderalla, post ball.