Corrupt-A-Wish

[Janet_Girl]

Granted:  But it is done poorly and you get a failing grade.

I wish I had propane for heat.   brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Dusty]

granted but then you realize you only had 15 minutes worth of warmth and can't afford any more propane.

I wish to do good in my tournament today

[rexgsd]

you do, and you actually win the whole thing, but then you get a blanket party after because everyone else is jealous

i wish peanut butter didnt have so much damn fat in it

[April Dawne]

Granted, Peanut Butter has zero fat, but the sodium content is tripled...

I wish weekends could last forever

[Janet_Girl]

Granted:  It is now Saturday and Sunday forever.  However You now have to work every weekend.

I wish I own a Maserati.

[rexgsd]

you do, but someone steals the wheels/tires and you cant afford new ones

i wish i had a special card for dunkin donuts so i could get free coffee for life!

[April Dawne]

Granted, but all the Dunkin Donuts close down except for one on the other side of the planet...

I wish I had started transition 20 years ago

[justmeinoz]

granted, and it cost you $50,000 ,but they introduced a 120% tax deduction on it 19 years ago.
I wish I had some avocadoes.

[Dusty]

granted but they taste like pineapples.

i wish i had some money for lunch

[LordKAT]

granted: it is in foreign currency and all banks and such to exchange it are no longer in service.

I wish hoaxers had to suffer quadruple embarrasment and be poorest of the poor for the rest of their lives.

[glendagladwitch]

granted: it is in foreign currency and all banks and such to exchange it are no longer in service.

I wish hoaxers had to suffer quadruple embarrasment and be poorest of the poor for the rest of their lives.

Granted.  But, due to the decreased budgets, big foot costumes, flying saucer videos, and "miracles" become so pathetically transparent that they are no longer even remotely entertaining.  And the "Virgin Mary" grilled cheese sandwich you buy off ebay winds up looking like Daphne Duck.

I wish my boss weren't so abusive.

[justmeinoz]

Your boss stops being abusive by retiring, and is replaced by a guy with excruciating body odour, halitosis, dandruff  and a need to stand close to you as he is partially deaf.

I wish I could afford a holiday.

[Dusty]

granted, but halfway through your hotel is infested with lice, bed bugs and the water is shut off

i wish i had more than one pair of pants that fit

[Raven]

Granted, but they all have big holes in the back of them and everyone can see your underwear. I wish I could the other books I want in one trip at the bookstore.

[justmeinoz]

Grante, but you get caught by the Book Liberation Front, and they take the lot.

I wish I had a pair of fluffy pink slippers, with bunny ears on them.

[LordKAT]

I wish I had a pair of fluffy pink slippers, with bunny ears on them.

You do but they size 3 (US) in kid shoes.

I wish I knew why my sleep habits are screwing up.

[Dusty]

granted, but then it turns out it's because you're secretly a vigilante, and you're OK with this, but the police are not and then you are arrested because vigilantes are illegal.

i wish for a nap

[Tad]

Wish granted, but you shortly wake up because you had a falling dream.

hmmm. I wish for a hystorectomy.

[Fencesitter]

Wish granted, but your surgeon takes out the bladder as well.

I wish for peace on Earth.

[justmeinoz]

Peace breaks out, but then people in the Middle East start arguing about who has the most peaceful country.

I wish the renovations at work were finished.