Corrupt-A-Wish

[justmeinoz]

They like you so much they have become a stalker. ( Have you looked in the saucepan for your sister's gerbil? )

I wish there was something decent on TV.

[A]

Granted. There is now a very nice sculpture on top of your television.

I wish I understood something about arrays in program scripts.

[jamherst]

Now you do--and you know nothing else and live in your parent's basement scripting all day and drinking diet coke.

I wish my immune system was better.

[Lee]

Your immune system goes into overdrive giving you fibromyalgia.

I wish it were Thanksgiving break.

[SnailPace]

Your immune system goes into overdrive giving you fibromyalgia.

I wish it were Thanksgiving break.

It is.  You eat Turkey dinner on the first day which causes you to sleep through the rest!

I wish post-secondary school was free.

[Michael Joseph]

It is, and now so many people want to go so there is no room for you

I wish I could meet megan fox.

[Lee]

You can, but this kid decides to hunt down all the fans she will actually talk to.

I wish I had started studying earlier for my ochem test.

[justmeinoz]

You did, but they decided to put it on 2 weeks early.

I wish I had Megan Fox's figure.

[A]

Granted. You now have a paper with the figure she draws and calls her initials.

I wish I would actually go to bed when I know I should.

[jamherst]

Granted. I'll personally come over every night and knock you unconscious.

I wish my straight stalkers would all gather and burn to death.

[V M]

Granted... You lure your stalkers into standing in a large fire pit and then light them up then relax in a fold out beach chair while the Johnny Cash song "Ring of Fire" plays in the background

I wish someone would knock my next door neighbor unconscious on a regular basis (as in, anytime he's awake)

[jamherst]

Granted. I'm the man for that job...as you have seen, I have experience from the last post  . However...I get arrested for multiple assault and your neighbors are still victorious.

I wish I wasn't freaking out right now.

[Mr.Rainey]

You stop freaking out but now you are in a grumpy mood.


I wish could pass algebra.

[justmeinoz]

You pass Algebra, and end up in the French Lit Exam.  Algebra was on the next floor.

I wish my hair would stay put.

[A]

Granted. Your hair falls to the ground and definitely stays put there.

I wish my co-tenant was not so hard-headed.

[Lee]

Their head is now so soft that they have to wear a helmet everywhere.

I wish the weather were  better today.

[Tad]

The weather is better. In fact it's nice and hot out. But your air conditioner breaks and you slowly cook to death in your house.

I wish I had a penis.

[V M]

Granted... You are now hung like a horse and have a penis a full meter long and everyone calls you "The tripod"

I wish I could send someone to go to the store for me (It's cold and snowing outside  )

[A]

Granted. Your 5-year-old cousin offers to do the job. You can send him to the store. But it does not mean he will come back.

I wish winter arrived all of a sudden and left the same way (Like, no -10°C - 8°C - -15°C - rain - snow - sun - snow - rain)

[justmeinoz]

Granted, it's gone from 32' C to -30 overnight, and all your winter clothes are in a trunk in the garage, under a metre of snow.

I wish I didn't have a huge swath of weeds in my lawn giving me hay fever.